


don't you think that it's boring how people talk?

by wildestdreams



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gossip Girl Fusion, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Gossip Girl References, Hate to Love, M/M, POV Multiple, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2018-11-07 02:46:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 73,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11049690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildestdreams/pseuds/wildestdreams
Summary: Hey Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite.orAGossip GirlAU where Louis is the king of the Upper East Side and Harry is the bad boy he loves to hate, until a late night limo ride changes everything.





	1. now playing: "tennis court" - lorde

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to the highly requested _gossip girl_ au that i promised everyone ages ago but finally got around to. i hope you'll like this as much as i'm liking writing it. it's got all the good parts of the show and i promise it'll be fun! i'll also be providing tw before every chapter so please keep note of that before reading. if you have questions, feel free to ask me!
> 
> huge thanks to my betas/readers [e](https://taketothesea.tumblr.com/) and [reyna](http://azvcarmorena.tumblr.com/).
> 
> [fic page](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/ggau) / [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/123144119/playlist/16fRGD5NIFALexkMrQIUG3)
> 
> title taken from "tennis court" by lorde

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mentions of infidelity in the past, underage drinking, mentions of underage sex

**Gossip Girl Blast #2183**

_Hey Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite._

_Today, I have_ the _biggest news ever that will surely shake up the entire city. One of my many sources sent me a Snapchat of someone we surely thought we’d never see again. Spotted at Grand Central, bags in hand -- Zayn Malik. It seems like it was just yesterday our favorite party boy mysteriously disappeared for “boarding school.” Now I know I don’t need to remind anyone who Zayn Malik is, because let’s be real --_ everyone _knows him and_ everyone _is talking._

_With all this excitement, I can’t help but think about the King of the Upper East Side -- Louis Tomlinson. Wonder how he’s coping with the return of Zayn. While we all know the two are best friends who grew up together, it always seemed like his long-time girlfriend, Eleanor Calder, had a thing for Zayn. Whatever it may be, I know that things are definitely going to start getting crazy around here again._

_Until next time. You know you love me._

_xoxo,_

_Gossip Girl_

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

It was a typical Tomlinson soiree that his mother held every few weeks and Louis was already growing tired of smiling pleasantly at all the guests that greeted him with their botox injected skin and tight smiles. Not that Louis looked down upon them; only the best of the Upper East Side were invited to attend. Pretty soon, when Louis took over the fashion empire his mother had spent so long building, these would be the people he would be mixing with, so it was important he kept up pretenses. He was also making sure he was looking after his friends, all of whom were lounging in one of the many sitting rooms and sneaking drinks from the open bar.

Louis could do with a drink himself, maybe even one of the hors d'oeuvres that were being served, because his stomach was rumbling. He hadn't eaten all day since he wanted to fit into his Alexander McQueen suit and not have a bulge in his stomach. His trainer had him on this super annoying kale only diet, too, which was really starting to get on his nerves because frankly, kale tasted like ass. To torture himself, he walked past the many guests and dwindled beside the buffet table where delicious looking quiches and cocktail shrimps were placed. The waitstaff from their catering service were grabbing plate after plate to serve, and it killed Louis to have to shake his head no when they offered him a quiche.

He felt someone tug on his arm and turned to see Eleanor standing there. She looked peeved as she said, “Let’s go to your room.”

“Why?” Louis frowned, looking out at the party in front of him.

“My parents are doing the whole college talk again and I don’t want to be here for it. Already, I’ve spoken to four people about how I’m going to Harvard to study law like all my fucking ancestors.”

Louis snickered at her aggravation. Eleanor’s parents were always hard on her with her studies. She was expected to get straight A’s, which she didn’t sometimes, but that was fine in Louis’ opinion because her last name was enough to get her into any university, let alone Harvard. After all, generations of Calders went there, but it seemed like Eleanor didn’t want to be one of them. Louis himself was set on Yale. _Only_ Yale.

When he felt Eleanor tug on his shirt sleeve again, he gave in, letting her drag him into his room. She shut the door behind them, locking it, before pushing him onto the bed and climbing on top of him. Within seconds her mouth was on his and Louis could immediately sense where Eleanor wanted this to go from the urgency of her kiss. She’d been trying to have sex with him since last year and Louis just didn’t feel ready. Any time they tried, he found himself shutting down and not turned on at all, so he’d make up some excuse to get her to stop, but she was persistent. She’d confessed to him that she really wanted to lose her virginity since everyone in their class already had.

Her warm brown eyes blinked open as she pulled away from their kiss. “I love you, Louis.”

They’d been together since they were six. It was like it was written in stone for the two of them. Everyone just expected them to naturally get together and they did. The King and Queen of the Upper East Side but Louis always had second thoughts. Something just felt missing to him and he wasn’t sure what. But it was easier to be with her and say he loved her, too, rather than figure it all out. Even if day by day he was starting to become tired of all the acting.

“Love you, too,” he finally mumbled.

As she pulled him in for another kiss, he started to wrack through his brain for an excuse to put a stop to her actions when his phone started buzzing. “Oh, gotta take that,” he quickly said, pushing her off of him and jumping up to grab his phone off his dresser. It was a Gossip Girl blast, which Eleanor also probably got, and Louis internally groaned. He couldn’t use Gossip Girl as his excuse to not have sex with her. It would be a dumb one and he needed to start getting better at these. However, after swiping his phone open, he realized this blast was an important one.

A new picture of Zayn along with Gossip Girl’s post stared back at him and Louis couldn’t really think for a few seconds. He hadn’t spoken to Zayn in the past year after the other boy just up and left the city with no word, so it was safe to say that Louis was _pissed_. The past year had been hard for him, too, and he needed Zayn by his side -- someone he’d come to rely on since he was in diapers. Zayn was Louis’ number one everything. Best friend, confidante. He was like the brother Louis never had, so it hurt when he just left without thinking of Louis at all.

“Zayn’s back?” Eleanor asked.

Louis turned to look back at her, finding her settled on his bed with her phone in her hands. Her purple Vera Wang dress splayed out perfectly over his cream colored duvet. She looked delighted, positively ecstatic, and he thought about what Gossip Girl said in her post about Eleanor having a thing for Zayn. He’d always suspected something was there, but mostly on Eleanor’s side. It had made sense seeing as how that was everyone’s natural reaction to Zayn’s growing beauty, but toward the end, Zayn started mirroring some of that back. Louis didn’t look too deeply into it, though. He was busy with his life and he also didn’t want to believe his girlfriend and his childhood best friend were going at it behind his back.

Instead of responding to her, Louis stepped out of his room and out to where all his other friends were. Calvin, Oli, and Luke were draped over some couches, crinkling their Tom Ford shirts. Right in the center of it all was Harry Styles, looking lavish in his patterned YSL suit. He glanced up when Louis walked in, quirking an eyebrow at Louis’ disheveled state. Louis quickly straightened out his hair and shirt before looking back at Harry’s smirking face. It was quite condescending, but that was how Harry was. He was the resident bad boy and also Eleanor’s best friend, which in turn meant Louis had the unfortunate luck of being around him quite often.

“Have you read Gossip Girl?” Harry asked.

“Zayn’s back. Someone saw him getting off a train at Grand Central,” Calvin added. “Haven’t thought about him in a bit. Heard he got some girl pregnant and left so he wouldn’t have to take on the daddy role.”

Louis scoffed. Highly unlikely as Zayn was _very_ careful when it came to sex.

“That’s not right,” Oli responded. “He was definitely in rehab.”

“Whatever it is,” Harry drawled out, looking bored. “It’s a good thing he’s back because things were getting a bit dull around here.”

Louis glared at Harry, but Harry only continued to smirk at him. Rolling his eyes, Louis turned around, ready to meet some more guests. After making a few more rounds, dinner started to get served, and Louis was so relieved. His stomach had been grumbling non-stop and he was becoming irritated at the way Eleanor kept making doe eyes at him from across the room, still put off because he wouldn’t have sex with her. Everyone started to get seated around the big table in the dining room and that was when Zayn decided to show up.

The elevator doors dinged, alerting everyone in the apartment that someone had arrived, and before it even opened, Louis knew it was Zayn. Because of _fucking_ course Zayn wanted to make a big dramatic entrance, one where he knew everyone would be looking. As Zayn stepped out of the elevator, his mother and father, both of whom were in attendance, stood up to go hug him hello. They were guests at the party seeing as how Zayn’s mother and Louis’ mother were close friends and two of the top socialites of the Upper East Side. Zayn’s dad was a massive business tycoon with brands and businesses all over Asia and America. He was branching out to Europe if Louis wasn’t mistaken.

While everyone ogled over Zayn, Zayn’s eyes were glued on Louis, who knew that how he acted now would count. He didn’t want anyone to know that he and Zayn had a strained friendship for the past year nor that he was upset over that. So Louis put on a grin and walked over to hug Zayn as well. “Z,” he breathed out as Zayn wrapped his arms around Louis. “Good to see you. We’ve missed you.”

“You, too, Lou,” Zayn responded. “You look good.”

Louis beamed, not offering a compliment back, even though Zayn did look good. Wherever he went, he was clearly looking after himself. The whispers could be heard all around and Louis turned to look at everyone, specifically at Eleanor and Harry. Harry’s eyes were unabashedly checking Zayn out, his signature cocky smirk still present on his face, and Louis wanted to say he was shocked to see Eleanor looking the same way, but then he’d be lying to himself.

Turning back around, Louis offered Zayn another smile. “Come sit with us. We’re about to have dinner.”

“I can’t,” Zayn shook his head right away. “I’ve got to go home and settle in. I’ll see you at school tomorrow, though?”

 _School_. So that meant Zayn was back for good. But why had he left in the first place and why was he back? Either way, Louis wasn’t about to find out because Zayn quickly said goodbye to his mom before taking the elevator down again, leaving Louis once more.

 **♥** **Eleanor** **♥**

It was absolutely bizarre that Eleanor had to find out from one of Harry’s latest conquests that Zayn and the Maliks were currently staying at the Palace rather than their usual penthouse on Park Ave. There was a time when Eleanor would know everything that went on in Zayn’s life, not that it was easy to get to that point. While Zayn was one of the most sought after and popular guys in this city, he was untouchable. He didn’t really let anyone in unless they somehow managed to charm him.

And Eleanor tried. She tried since she was eleven years old when she developed a tiny crush on Zayn despite being with Louis. She would compliment him all the time, try to hang out with him alone, and even get him his favorite chocolates from La Maison du Chocolat. It didn’t start working until Zayn’s fifteenth birthday a little over a year ago. Things started to change between them and they were talking all the time. Zayn opened up to her in a way she doubted he opened up to  Louis, which made her feel special and wanted in a way she never felt when she was with Louis.

The following morning after Louis’ mom’s soiree, Eleanor got up an hour earlier than she normally would, dressing quickly before making her way over to Midtown. Luckily, she was only stood outside for five minutes when Zayn appeared, walking out the doors. His face formed a frown upon seeing her, but he slowly fixed it into a smile.

“Hey Eleanor,” he greeted, walking closer.

“Hey Z,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. She felt nervous all of a sudden and wondered why. This was Zayn -- her _friend_. “Didn’t get a chance to say hi to you properly yesterday. I’m so excited that you’re back.”

Zayn smiled at her, but it looked tight and uncomfortable. “Thanks. It feels good to be back, I think.”

“It’s not been the same without you, really.” Zayn nodded in acknowledgement, not saying anything, so Eleanor took a step forward. “I just --”

“Eleanor,” Zayn warned, taking a step back. “We can’t.”

Eleanor spluttered, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. “What?”

“I know what you’re going to say.”

“Okay, so then what’s the problem? You’re back now. Shouldn’t it be different?”

“No because I didn’t come back for you,” Zayn told her firmly, causing Eleanor to deflate. “Louis’ my best friend and you’re his girlfriend. And that’s how things are supposed to be.” He gave her one last apologetic smile before walking past her and toward a black Uber waiting out in front.

 **♥** **Harry** **♥**

Eleanor was pouting, which wasn’t an uncommon occurrence seeing as how she always had some issue with Louis going on these days, but Harry couldn’t help but wonder what the damage was now. The couple had snuck away to Louis’ bedroom for a little PG-13 romp at the soiree yesterday if Louis’ mussed up hair and rumpled suit was anything to go by, so Harry assumed things were good. Then again, the whole event was so boring. That is, until Zayn walked in.

“You know, Zayn looked really fucking hot last night,” Harry said, deciding to strike up conversation on their long walk to school. He had to go get her from Midtown, which was an annoying trek, but he’d do anything for her. “Like there’s something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be violated. Are you sure he doesn’t swing for boys?”

“You’re a sicko,” Eleanor muttered despite her amused smile.

“Stop acting like I’m not right. Like you wouldn’t say yes to hooking up with him if you had the chance.”

“I have a boyfriend, Harry.”

Harry snorted, licking his lips. They were nearing their schools and he could see a gaggle of sophomore girls smiling over at him by the gate. “You guys have been dating since you were prepubescent and he hasn’t even fucked you yet.”

“Don’t be crass,” Eleanor glared at him, swatting her hand out to punch him on the arm.

As he darted away to make her miss, he noticed someone following closely behind them. It was a boy around their age with brown hair and deep brown eyes, looking right back at Harry. Harry frowned at him and his do-good, innocent, teddy bear esque features.

“Can I help you?” Harry asked.

The boy raised his eyebrows, like he was surprised Harry was talking to him. He chuckled good naturedly. “Just trying to get to school.”

That was when Harry noticed he was wearing the same uniform as him. Black slacks, white shirt, black oxford sweater and their red and gold striped tie. He was a St. Jude’s boy. “Right,” Harry said slowly, stepping aside to let him through. Eleanor had already waved goodbye to him, heading toward the entrance for Constance Billard School for Girls, the sister school to St. Jude’s for boys. They were both elite high schools that functioned as one, but were separated when it came to classes.  

Harry stood there for a moment, wondering what he’d do now that he didn’t have Eleanor with him. Class wasn’t due to start for another half hour. But then he looked over at the sophomore girls again. A little of that wouldn’t hurt, he supposed, as he strolled over, striking his charming, dimpled smile.

 **♥** **Louis** **♥**

While most hated Monday mornings, Louis quite liked them. He felt energized after his Sunday night sleep, which he made sure was always eight hours. Otherwise he’d wake up with bags under his eyes. And then he had Oli and Calvin working out a weekly to-do list for him. They were usually the ones to handle his planner, a job that they willingly took upon themselves to work closely with Louis, and it was nice sitting on the MET steps, eating a cup of yogurt with fruit and listing off all the things he had going on for the week. It gave him clarity and the upcoming week some purpose.

“Are you still meeting Donatella Versace on Friday night?” Calvin asked.

“Yes,” Louis said. “Mom’s having another soiree soon and I need to get fitted. So make that priority. I also have an exam that morning so schedule in study time for everyday this week.”

Oli quickly jotted it down on Louis’ planner while Calvin made a note on Louis’ iCal. He tried to think of what else he needed to add that they already didn’t when Lottie walked up the MET steps toward him. She was the older one of his other sisters and currently a freshman at Constance, meaning his mom always made him check up on her to see if she was doing alright.

“Hey, Lou,” Lottie beamed, smoothing out her uniform skirt. She’d recently had Dorota, their maid, hem it a little shorter for her so that she could look as fashionable as the other girls in their school. They were always mixing it up everyday to make the uniforms look cuter, whether it be alterations to the actual uniform or adding accessories. Today Lottie had a black headband pulling back her hair to show her golden eyeshadow and bright pink lips.

“Lots,” Louis greeted. “What’s up? Don’t you have class.”

“In a bit,” Lottie nodded. “I just wanted to ask you something.”

“And that is?”

“See, there’s a party on Saturday and everyone I know is going to be there. It’s called the Kiss on the Lips party and I got invited, which is a big deal because not everyone is. But it’s at a club and I’m not sure Mom will let me go. So can you please cover for me?”

Lottie was panting by the time she was finished talking and her face looked flushed. It made Louis feel bad for her even though he knew that she shouldn’t even be wanting to go to a party at a club when she was only fourteen. But he’d done a lot worse when he was that age and it’d be hypocritical of him to say no. “Fine,” he said. “I’ll tell Mom that you’re at Emily’s place as long as you get back at a reasonable time.”

“ _Yes_ , yes I will,” Lottie grinned, jumping up and down. She leaned down to hug Louis before quickly scampering away toward her school. A part of him wished she would stay the way she was -- innocent and bright eyed -- but New York would toughen her up soon, and Louis was willing to do what he could to make sure she wouldn’t spiral out of control.

He started to tell Oli another thing to add on to his planner, when this time they were interrupted by Zayn walking up the MET steps with a hot bagel oozing with cream cheese in his hand. Carbs with cheese -- ugh. Zayn never cared about all that and still looked perfect, something Louis was always envious about. “There you are,” Zayn said. “I was looking all over for you guys. What’s up?”

It took a lot for Louis to refrain from glaring at him. Now that they weren’t at a private social setting, he didn’t have to fake it with Zayn anymore. Who did Zayn think he was, just waltzing up the MET steps thinking that everything would be exactly how he left them. A year was a long time and nothing was the same. Louis grew up and realized how selfish Zayn was, for one. Still, Louis mustered up a small smile. “We were actually just leaving.” He stood up, the other two boys quickly following suit like the perfect side kicks they were.

“Oh,” Zayn said, giving Louis a calculating and knowing look. “But class doesn’t start for a half hour.”

“Yeah, but I have so much to do. And I can’t just drop everything in my life to sit with you while you eat your carb infested bagel, can I?”

In that moment, Louis knew that if Zayn wasn’t aware that Louis was pissed at him before, he was now. Zayn scoffed softly. “Right. Lots to do, huh?” Louis nodded, giving him another forced smile before descending down the steps until Zayn called him again. “Are you free to meet tonight? I’m at the Palace.”

“I’ve got a date tonight with Eleanor,” Louis shook his head. “Sorry.”

Zayn rolled his eyes. “Eleanor can wait. How does 8 sound?”

“Fine,” Louis gritted. Zayn had always been super stubborn. He never went down without a fight.

He fixed Louis with a smile. “Thanks for making the time.”

“Of course. You’re my _best friend._ ”

Their words were dripping with sarcasm and Louis couldn’t help but finally let a dirty look be passed on, his mouth grimacing at the mention of ‘best friend’ when Zayn hadn’t been that for a long time. He turned around again, headed toward school, Oli and Calvin quickening their pace to keep up with him.

 **♥** **Harry** **♥**

“Okay,” Harry said, slowing his pace and glancing over at Eleanor beside him. “It’s been a whole school day and you’ve still got that pout on your face. What gives?”

Eleanor looked at him, brown, doe eyes wide at being called out. She shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant before facing away from Harry and waving at a puppy walking by. They were walking through Central Park, hoping to cut across to their penthouses without being jostled and shoved by pedestrians and tourists on the sidewalks. “Nothing’s wrong. It’s just Louis stuff again.”

“When is it not Louis stuff?” Harry sighed. “I’m just trying to understand why you guys were fine all this time and suddenly you’re having so many issues.”

“Nothing is particularly an issue. It’s just complicated.”

“Wait,” Harry paused for a moment, his brows furrowing. “Is it…sex again?”

Eleanor rolled her eyes, but didn’t actually deny it, which made Harry burst out laughing, causing a few passersby to glance over at him like he was mental. Eleanor glared at Harry, shoving his shoulder, causing him to stumble a bit.

“I’m sorry. I just -- I can’t believe it.”

“What can’t you believe?”

Harry cleared his throat, calming down from his laughing fit. “You’re both hot as fuck. What’s the problem? Should I get you guys something to help? My father’s Viagra, perhaps?”

“Please stop,” Eleanor groaned. “It’s not just that. There’s more to it.”

“Like what?” Harry asked her seriously. “What’s going on?”

“I’m just tired,” Eleanor admitted. “My parents have been going so hard about Harvard lately, and it’s so fucking annoying, Harry. It feels like they’ve got my whole life completely planned out for me. Attend the top schools in New York City, get into Harvard Law, and marry Louis Tomlinson. Meanwhile, Louis’ being so weird with me as of late. I don’t know what’s going on with him and I don’t even know if I want to go to Harvard, to be honest. I just -- I want to be happy and content and just enjoy.”

“El,” Harry said calmly. “You’ve got a trust fund and a penthouse in the best city in the world. Your family owns four different vacation mansions on different continents and you could have whatever you want at the snap of a finger, including Louis Tomlinson and his glorious ass. But for some reason, you’re searching for happiness as if that’s something anyone has. Be real.”

He laughed dryly while she looked at him for a long moment. In the end, she looped her arm with his and leaned on him for support as they walked the rest of the way home.

 **♥** **Louis** **♥**

Louis managed to grab a quick snack from his favorite macaroon bakery on the way to Midtown to meet Zayn at The Palace. His car dropped him off at the front and to his surprise, Zayn was waiting outside for him, changed out of his school uniform. He offered Louis a small smile before leading him inside to the bar area. The barkeeper didn’t even bat an eye as they ordered their drinks -- a martini for Louis and a Long Island Iced Tea for Zayn.

“So, how’ve you been?” Zayn asked Louis.

“Good,” Louis replied. “Things are going great.”

“I know that’s not completely true. Your parents went through a divorce, for one.”

“Walter wasn’t my father, Zayn,” Louis scoffed lightly. He was Louis’ stepfather and they never really had a strong bond to begin with. What’s more, Louis knew fuck all about his real father, but that never bothered him. It was a big scandalous ordeal when Louis’ mom was pregnant with him, though. His grandparents made her move to their country home for the entire pregnancy until she was able to find a suitor who was willing to take on Louis. Walter ended up being that, but he was always a little weird for Louis’ liking. He grew up on Long Island and only moved to the city with Louis and his mom after the marriage. It was a big culture shock for him and Louis supposed he never really got accustomed to their lifestyle, which was one of the reasons why they separated. Louis sipped his drink as he said, “And the divorce hasn’t been a bad change.”

Zayn frowned. “It hasn’t?”

“Nope,” Louis said, popping an olive into his mouth. “Mom’s been doing good. I mean, as good as someone who found out her husband is gay and left her for another man can do. She lost fifteen pounds and got an eyelift.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Walter was crap anyway. He barely paid attention to his daughters. Too busy talking about Wall Street all the time and how life was better in Nassau whatever.”

“Right,” Zayn trailed off. “I’m happy for you guys, since you’re saying it was good for you. I meant to reach out and ask how you were doing.”

“But you didn’t,” Louis pointed out. “You didn’t call or write or anything the entire time you were away.”

“I know that,” Zayn insisted, his hazel eyes pleading. “Boarding school was a whole new world, Lou.”

Louis inhaled sharply. He was so tired of Zayn and his stupid excuses. He was also tired of acting like he wasn’t hurt. “Honestly, Zayn. I don’t even know why you went to boarding school to begin with. Like, I had to find out from your mom that you moved to fucking Connecticut.”

“I had to. I had to get away from everything here. It’s… it’s hard to explain, but please believe me. More than anything, all I want right now is for us to go back to how it was.”

“We can’t,” Louis told him, his voice cutting across harshly. “Too much has happened and too much has changed.”

“I know that. You’ve got your friends, like Oli and Calvin, but it doesn’t have to change anything between us. You can still have that life and me.” He paused for a moment. “Lou, I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss everything, like walking to school together and going away to the Hamptons for the summer and wreaking havoc in this city together. You are like my brother. The two of us --” Zayn laughed, running a hand through his hair. “The two of us got stuck with a bandwagon of sisters, but we found a brother in each other, right? I’d hate to lose that.”

Louis gulped down his martini, feeling his walls breaking down. He’d always been soft toward Zayn and this was their longest fight yet. Zayn was right. Louis always had the most fun with him and they truly were like brothers. He was angry, yes, but deep down inside he knew this wouldn’t last forever.

“We both know how crazy this world is,” Zayn continued. “And I think we really need each other.”

Louis finally relented, giving Zayn a small smile. “We do,” he admitted.

Zayn grinned, looking relieved. “So glad you said that. I’m so sorry I haven’t been there for you.”

“It’s fine because you’re here now.” Zayn reached out, hugging Louis until they were slipping off their bar stools, holding onto each other tightly. When they let go, Louis smiled sheepishly. “I have to go meet Eleanor. She’s got something planned for tonight.”

“Alright. I don’t want to keep you. But let’s talk tomorrow, okay?”

Louis nodded, smiling as he walked past Zayn and toward the exit of The Palace. His car drove up to the main entrance, picking him up and whizzing past traffic toward Eleanor’s penthouse on 5th Ave. When Louis arrived and got to her floor, he was let in by her family butler, George, who told him Eleanor was waiting for him in her bedroom. Louis smiled, making his way over to her room upstairs. He knocked a few times until he heard her voice telling him to come in. Louis turned the doorknob and walked inside to find Eleanor sitting on her bed wearing a red lingerie set with candles lit up everywhere.

“Wow,” Louis gulped, looking around the room as he closed the door behind him.

Eleanor smiled shyly. “Is it too much?” she asked. “I just wanted this to be special.”

He looked at her properly for a moment and she was beautiful, of course, like a porcelain doll with her pretty features. But Louis felt himself clamming up already, fire alarms ringing in his head for him to just turn around and run away from what she wanted him to do. Before he could, she drifted over to him from her bed to where he was standing. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, tugging him down for a kiss, but he was only able to place a chaste one on her lips before pulling away, looking awkwardly to the side.

Eleanor stared at him, confusion etched on her face, and she leaned in to kiss him again, but he stepped back. Anger flared through her expression and Louis knew she was about to explode before a word even left her lips.

“Eleanor, I’m --”

“Save it, Louis,” she shouted. “I don’t even know what you want from me anymore. Do you want to be with me? Or are you only with me because people expect you to be?”

“Of course I want to be with you,” he protested.

“No, you don’t! You haven’t been _with me_ in a long time, Louis. You don’t even want to have sex with me.”

“That’s not -- that’s not the only thing that defines our relationship.”

“Yes, but you don’t even get turned on. You don’t even kiss me anymore. I don’t get it. Is something wrong? With you, I mean?”

“No,” Louis shook his head, his cheeks heating up from how embarrassed he felt.

Eleanor only frowned at him, her lips quivering. “I _know_ it’s not _m_ e. Zayn was more than fine when we had sex.”

Suddenly, everything stopped. Eleanor stopped shouting. Traffic outside seemed to have stilled. And Louis just gaped at Eleanor, staring at her and wondering if he’d really just heard what he thought did. Her angry expression sobered up and it was like her words were finally catching up to her.

“Louis…”

“What do you mean when you and Zayn had sex?” he asked her as calmly as he could.

She blinked and tears trailed down her cheeks. “It was a long time ago.”

“How long?”

“Before he left for boarding school. We -- it was after a party. We were drunk, Lou. Honest.”

“Is that supposed to make this any better?” he asked, voice rising. “What the fuck, El? And you’ve been on my ass for the past year and a half to have sex with you, acting like you’re this virgin. As if I wouldn’t know when we had sex.”

“I -- I’m sorry,” she breathed out. Her face was turned away from him, like she couldn’t even look him in the eye anymore. Feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, Louis turned around and walked out of her room.

As he marched toward the elevator, he felt a mix of emotions. For one, he was hurt and betrayed by his two best friends. The signs were all there, but he ignored them time after time. Two, there was also a sense of relief because even though he didn’t want to admit this to himself, he felt out of place with Eleanor. His heart wasn’t in it and even she could tell. But that didn’t make what she and Zayn did behind his back okay. Zayn lied to Louis straight to his face. He fucked his girlfriend and then fucked off to boarding school as if Louis would never find out.

If Zayn thought he and Louis were fine, he had another thing coming.

 **♥** **Zayn** **♥**

Zayn had thought that after meeting with Louis at the bar and opening up about things would help resolve all their issues, but apparently not. Somehow, overnight, Louis had changed his mind if his icy stares from across hallways and classrooms the following day were any indication. Zayn hadn’t gotten a chance to properly ask him what the problem was now. He’d been busy all day trying to get himself back into the groove for school. He wanted to do it different this time. Before boarding school, he couldn’t care less about how well he did considering his parents were going to schmooze their way into every University to get him a spot. But this was something he could focus on now that nobody actually cared about him, or not like they used to. They still whispered behind his back as he walked by them, but he was alone for the most part.

At lunch he sat at one of the tables outside, eating his grilled cheese sandwich and working on his Spanish homework. He was doing really well, focused and unnerved until someone approached him and cleared his throat. Zayn looked up, mid bite, and found himself facing a boy with light brown hair and an expression similar to that of a teddy bear.

“Hey, what’s up?” Zayn asked.

“Not much,” the boy responded. “Mind if I sit here? Every other table is full and I’ve got some homework I need to finish.”

“Yeah, of course,” Zayn nodded. He gestured over to the seat in front of him and the boy sat down, pulling out a notebook and pencil. “What’s your name again?”

“Oh,” he blinked owlishly at Zayn. “I didn’t introduce myself, sorry. I’m Liam.”

“Nice to meet you, Liam. I’m Zayn.”

“I know,” Liam smiled sheepishly. “Nice to meet you as well. Are you, uh, doing homework too?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a Spanish assignment due in, like, forty minutes.”

“Spanish is pretty easy. It’s French that’s hard.”

“I know a bit of French. I picked it up since we go to Paris every year,” Zayn said. “C’est une belle langue.”

“D’accord,” Liam responded with a shy laugh. They both went back to their work for a bit before Liam broke the silence once more. “This might seem a bit forward and sort of random, but are you free tonight?”

Zayn raised his eyebrows, surprised. “I am, yeah,” he said. “Why? What’s up?”

“Well, there’s this amazing concert tonight for this band called LANY, and I was supposed to go with my friend, but he bailed last minute. So I’ve got an extra ticket if you’d like to come?”

“I would, yeah,” Zayn nodded without a second thought. He hadn’t had a proper night out since he got back and Liam seemed really nice. It wasn’t like Zayn’s old friends were really rushing to spend time with him, anyway. Maybe he needed to make new ones this time.

 **♥** **Louis** **♥**

Eleanor slowly cut her omelette into tiny pieces until they were big enough for a toddler to eat several at once. It was clear she was nervous from the moment she walked into the French restaurant Louis called her to for brunch that Saturday. He wasn’t about to break up with her, but he was sure she thought he was. A part of him wanted to just come out and say it, but another part also wanted her to sweat a little.

“You alright?” Louis asked, taking a bite of his avocado on toast.

“Yeah, of course,” Eleanor nodded. “Everything’s delicious here.”

“How would you know? You’ve barely touched your food.”

He cocked his head toward her plate and she grimaced as she placed a bit of omelette and tomato in her mouth. “I’m sorry, Lou. I’m just -- I need to know.”

“What?”

“What you called me for. You’ve been radio silent for days and now this.”

“Just wanted to have brunch with my girlfriend.”

She parted her lips in surprise. “So I’m still your girlfriend.”

“I’ve thought about it a lot,” Louis finally said. “We’ve been together for too long and I can accept that what you did with Zayn was a mistake.”

“It was,” she eagerly nodded. “It didn’t mean anything. We were drunk and stupid. I messed up and I’ll work toward putting everything in the past. I promise.”

“I know,” Louis clipped. “I’m all for putting it in the past. Let’s not speak of it ever again.”

Eleanor beamed, reaching her hand over and squeezing Louis’ over their table. “Thank you, Louis. I’m so sorry for everything.”

He offered her a small, curt smile before looking down at his food. While it was true that he’d forgiven Eleanor, a lot of it had to do with the fact that he was hoping this would mean he wouldn’t be expected to have sex with her. At least not in the near future. However, Zayn was still not forgiven. He didn’t know Louis knew yet, but he was about to find out and it wasn’t going to be pretty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to [liz](http://afirethatcannotdie.tumblr.com/), [tam](https://louissassyass.tumblr.com/), and [ellie](http://afirethatcannotdie.tumblr.com/) for doing beta!


	2. now playing: “believe” - the bravery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mentions of underage sex, underage drinking, and bad parenting
> 
> if i missed any, please let me know!

 

**Gossip Girl Blast #2201**

_Hey Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite._

_I hope you’re all enjoying your Sunday because it’s about to get better. Most associate Sundays with being lazy. Staying in bed, catching up on Netflix, and ordering from Seamless, but for us it’s all about brunch, and with Sunday brunch comes strawberry champagne, a dress code, and a hundred of our closest friends_ and _enemies._

_Spotted outside of Maison Kayser, Harry Styles looked smoldering and gorgeous as he talked on the phone. A source tells me he was at the French Bakery to place a large order for his father’s annual brunch in honor of his foundation, which will be held at The Palace. I guess we can all hope everything runs smoothly, but where’s the fun if there’s no drama? Rumor has it the Maliks are invited and we all know things haven’t been smooth sailing between Zayn and Louis. Throw an Eleanor Calder in the mix and it’s even messier. And of course, no drama is ever complete without a little Harry Styles._

_Will keep you all posted, so until next time. You know you love me._

_xoxo,_

_Gossip Girl_

**♥** **Eleanor** **♥**

The shrill sound of Eleanor’s ringtone woke her up. She grumbled, rolling onto her stomach before landing onto a plush, grey, shag rug. Her eyes widened in surprise at the fall, and she shifted around to realize that she’d spent the night on Harry’s couch. The two of them had decided to make a night of it yesterday and watched some of their favorite movies on Netflix. Now that she was remembering, she’d fallen asleep halfway through the third movie, and Harry must have just left her there.

Her phone stopped ringing after  a few moments and Eleanor sagged against the rug that had saved her from hitting Harry’s hardwood floors. He lived at the Empire, one of the hotels his father owned, in a big apartment on the top floor. Bart was rarely around, though, and when he was, he usually stayed on a different floor all by himself anyway. While Harry often boasted to all their friends that he loved having a bachelor pad, Eleanor knew he often got lonely, which was why she stayed over frequently to keep him company.

Her phone started ringing again and she sat up, reaching for it on top of the coffee table  covered with junk food from last night, a bottle of wine, and a stack of Harry’s _Playboy_ magazines.

“Hello.”

“Hey,” Louis replied. “Been calling you. Are you up or what?”

“I am now,” she responded with a yawn. “Knocked out on Harry’s couch. Where are you?”

“Getting ready for the brunch. You should be, too.”

“Yeah, I’ll get up eventually.” She looked around the apartment, now realizing that Harry wasn’t there. Even his bed, which could be seen from where she was sitting, was empty, though slept in. “I wonder where Harry is. He’s not here.”

“Gossip Girl sent a blast of him at Maison Kayser a little while ago,” Louis told her.

“Oh wow, so he’s getting ready already. I should get going then. I’ll see you at The Palace?”

“Yep, see you.”

“Love you,” Eleanor said shyly.

There was a long pause and then, “Yeah. Bye.”

Louis hung up and Eleanor frowned at her phone. She had been extremely surprised when he had called her to brunch a few days ago and told her things were fine between them after she had stupidly confessed to having lost her virginity to Zayn. Just remembering that moment made her cheeks warm up from shame. Eleanor loved Louis, she really did, but she also had feelings for Zayn. When the two of them slept together the night of her 16th birthday, she’d thought there was something special between them. Apparently not, though, because Zayn was avoiding her like the plague, barely meeting eyes with her when she saw him around at school. She wanted to speak to him and tell him that Louis knew about them, but hadn’t gotten the chance to yet. Maybe she would be able to today at Harry’s dad’s brunch. Zayn was staying at The Palace and would surely be there.

Feeling determined, she got up and grabbed a clean towel out of Harry’s linen closet. Then she walked to his bathroom only to open it to reveal a pretty blonde, standing there with steam wafting behind her as she clutched a pink towel around her body.

“Oh,” the girl gasped, widening her hazel eyes.

Eleanor took a step back as well. “Sorry,” she said. She didn’t realize Harry had one of his _friends_ over, but she supposed she should be used to it by now. She’d walked in on Harry having sex so many times; he had no shame and did it just about anywhere with anyone.

The girl’s face was flushed as she stammered and walked past Eleanor to an adjacent walk-in closet, closing the door behind her. Eleanor stared into the steaming bathroom and felt too awkward to go in there. Harry wasn’t even home to take care of his guest, so Eleanor felt weird to just go about her own business. Putting her towel down on a chair, she walked to the kitchen to drink some water. Ten minutes later, the girl emerged from the closet and joined Eleanor.

“Hi again,” she laughed nervously.

“Hi,” Eleanor responded, giving her a small smile. “Do you want anything to eat?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I was actually just leaving.”

Just then, the elevator doors opened and Harry walked through, carrying a few shopping bags with him. He walked into the kitchen and glanced at the two girls. “Morning,” he smiled.

Eleanor looked at the girl who smiled meekly at Harry. “Aren’t you going to introduce us, Harry?” Eleanor asked him.

“Right,” Harry nodded, placing his bags on the table. “Eleanor, this is Lucy. Lucy, this is Eleanor. Lucy goes to Constance.”

“Oh, nice,” Eleanor said. “What grade?”

“10th,” Lucy responded. “Only a year below you guys.”

Eleanor nodded in acknowledgement, though, she didn’t understand the need for the clarification. After that, Harry walked Lucy to the elevators, telling her he had a lovely time. When he rejoined Eleanor in the kitchen, he went about unpacking his groceries.

“When did you call her?” Eleanor asked, placing her empty glass in the sink.

“Hour after you fell asleep,” Harry said, not looking away from his task. “Couldn’t sleep and got bored, and she told me I could hit her up anytime I needed. She’s quite _feisty_.” Eleanor grimaced at Harry and he laughed at her expression. “Excited for the brunch?”

“A bit, yeah,” Eleanor nodded. “Louis called me to tell me to get ready. It’s been a little awkward between us, to be honest.”

“Well, you did tell him you slept with his best friend,” Harry pointed out. “Have I told you how mad I am that you didn’t tell me?”

“About a million times.”

“Well, I am. Here you are, harboring this huge secret about your love triangle with two of the hottest guys at St. Jude, aside from me, but you never even bothered to share the goss. It was honestly offensive.”

“Let it go. It’s not like I wanted to boast about it.”

“I would boast about it if I had sex with Zayn,” Harry told her a matter of factly.

“I bet you would,” Eleanor hummed.

Harry finally looked at Eleanor, studying her carefully. “Is Louis really upsetting you again? Because you look upset and I’m ready to kill him for you.”

“You wouldn’t have the guts to kill him because you think he’s too pretty,” she snorted. “What would you even kill him with? Your headscarves from YSL? Or wait, maybe throw one of your bowties in his eye and hope it blinds him.”

“Don’t mock my headscarves or bowties. Those are my signature. But I’m just saying -- Louis told you things were fine, so work on that. But if you want Zayn, then today could be your shot.”

Eleanor watched as Harry grabbed a couple of fruits and started chopping them for his morning smoothie. He wasn’t the best for relationship advice, but he was practical, which helped. She just had to figure out what to do.

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

It was not on Louis’ planner that morning to come down the spiral staircase of his penthouse and be met with the sight of Zayn lounging on the family room’s loveseat. Yet, there he was. Louis cleared his throat with a not so amused expression, catching Zayn’s attention. Zayn looked over at him, standing up with a small paper bag in his hands, and walked over.

Louis sighed deeply, preparing for whatever bullshit Zayn was about to come up with. He’d just done a cleansing facial and was about to find Dorota to ask when she would give him his ironed outfit for the brunch so he could get ready. Zayn better not make him too angry because he didn’t want any frown lines on his face. There were going to be _a lot_ of photographers at the event that day and Louis needed to look good as always.

“Hey Lou,” Zayn greeted him. He was dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt as he opened the bag and showed it to Louis. “Got your favorite breakfast items -- croissants and pastries -- and my Marvel movies.”

Louis cocked his head to the side with a quizzical expression. “Wow, I’m sorry, I think I must have missed the part where I invited you over?”

Zayn sighed, exasperated. “You didn’t. I thought it’d be nice since it’s Sunday and we always had a Sunday tradition. Breakfast on your bed and a Marvel movie marathon.”

“Right,” Louis said, leaning against the bannister. “I don’t do that anymore.”

“What the fuck, Louis?” Zayn said, frowning. “What’s with your attitude? I thought we were okay.”

“We were,” Louis said pointedly. “Until I found out you had sex with my girlfriend.”

Zayn looked like a deer caught in headlights, all the anger and confusion wiping from his face and replaced by something a little more scared. _Good_. He deserved to fear Louis after what he did. “How did you find out?” Zayn asked, voice barely a whisper.

“Eleanor told me, believe it or not. Just fessed up.”

“Lou, I -- it was --”

“A drunken mistake?” Louis asked. “Heard it from Eleanor already, so save it. What pisses me off is not only the fact that you’d do something like this to me, but also that you wouldn’t tell me. You were going to continue to act like you didn’t backstab me. You were going to make me look like a fool while everyone on the entire Upper East Side knew you two were just fucking behind my back.”

“It was _one_ time,” Zayn protested.

“Once too many,” Louis snapped.

“You’re right. I’m -- I just want to know how we can get past this.”

“We can’t. Because I can’t trust you anymore, Zayn, okay? Just leave me alone. You’re done here.”

With that, Louis dismissed Zayn, walking back upstairs. At the top of the stairs, he saw Lottie peeking out from her room. She followed him quietly to his bedroom just as they heard the elevator doors open downstairs, meaning Zayn left. Louis hoped he took his fucking breakfast and movies as well.

“What happened?” Lottie asked as Louis looked over his outfit for the day. Dorota had laid it out on his bed for him, probably while he was speaking with Zayn downstairs. It was a Ralph Lauren set from his new collection, which hadn’t even hit stores yet. A pair of navy blue trousers, matching suspenders, and a crisp white button up.

“Nothing,” Louis told her as he began to unbutton his silk pajama top.

“Didn’t sound like nothing. Sounded like you guys were fighting.”

“Don’t want to talk about it, Charlotte, so just drop it. Tell me about your party, instead. Was it fun?” Louis said, changing the subject.

“So much fun,” Lottie beamed. “Only downside was that someone there sent a tip to Gossip Girl about how me and Tommy were flirting. They even took pictures and he didn’t like that.”

Louis hummed in acknowledgment as he put on his shirt, glancing over at his sister while she rummaged through some of his stuff on his studying desk. “Your Gossip Girl debut, I’m assuming?”

Lottie looked at him and nodded. Sounded about right. Gossip Girl started around the time when he and his friends were freshman, which was the grade Lottie is in now. Felicity, his other sister, was still in middle school, so she had a way to go. Daisy and Phoebe were even younger,  in elementary .

“It’s strange at first,” he told her. “But you’re growing up and you’re a part of this world. And if you want to be a part of this world, you need to understand that people will talk. And frankly, you’re nobody until you’re talked about.”

“So this is good?” Lottie asked him.

“Mhmm,” Louis smiled. “Now go so I can finish getting ready for brunch.”

**♥** **Harry** **♥**

Bart Styles never let anything go amiss during his annual brunches. It was an event more looked forward to than the Met Ball. Everyone came dressed to the nines in their best brunch clothes, sipping on mimosas and eating fruit salads and omelettes handmade by the best chefs in the city. Every year it was held at a different venue. This year, he’d decided to do it at The Palace since their banquet hall had high gold ceilings with intricate cherub designs that went well with the Greek Mythology theme he had.

Harry tried to be on his best behavior during these type of events. He knew his father had a lot riding on this and his foundation, which he raised a lot of money for to give to charities around the world. Frankly, Harry’s relationship with his father was a bit strained. In fact, it had never been strong to begin with. As for his mother, Harry never met her. His father told him that she’d died when giving birth to him and so he was raised under the care of nannies. Mix that in with a father who was barely around, and Harry never got a true sense of what the word _family_ really meant.

Still, he tried. He saw his friends and how they were with their parents. Eleanor resented the way her mom and dad constantly talked to her about school, but she didn’t realize how lucky she was that she had parents who cared about her education at all. Harry could drop out right now and his father wouldn’t even bat an eye. When Zayn had arrived at the soiree the other day, the way his parents, Maryam and Azraf, rushed over to greet him made Harry jealous. When Bart came back from trips, he didn’t even bother to let Harry know most times. But most of all, Harry envied Louis, who had a strong and loving relationship with his mother, Anastasia. She was also a single parent who managed to build a business - a fashion empire, really - and Louis was thrilled at the idea of taking it over one day.  

Harry’s father owned a chain of hotels throughout different cities in the world, all of them prospering to the level of Hiltons and Trumps. This was part of the reason why Bart was rarely around, but Harry had grown to live with that. He did his part by showing up to events and acted like the son everyone thought he was -- eager to take over for his father when time came. Little did they know that Bart barely talked to Harry about his business. Bart barely talked to Harry at all.

While everyone mingled, Harry kept to the open bar. He’d shared a few drinks with Louis and Eleanor and Louis’ minions, Oli and Calvin, but it got awkward when Zayn walked in with that teddy bear looking guy from school that had followed Harry and Eleanor that day. He had no idea why Zayn brought him, but Louis looked pissed and Eleanor looked uncomfortable. Harry loved drama as much as the next guy, but he  figured he’d sit this one out....for now. He’d given Eleanor a key card to his room upstairs earlier, so she and Louis could seal the deal. Harry was convinced that was the root of their problems. Sex solved almost everything in his opinion.

“Harry.”

He glanced up to see his father walking over, tan tweed suit on with an expensive Gucci tie. “Father,” Harry responded with a lazy drawl. “This is a great brunch.”

“What are you doing?” Bart asked, eyeing Harry’s glass of whiskey. “Do I need to call someone to carry you out in the middle of the day?”

“Brunches are meant to be boozy.”

His father sighed, rubbing his temple. “Harry, I wish you’d cooperate with me. I’m doing all this for you.”

“I thought you were doing it for your name in the press and for an excuse to hire the nude statues again,” Harry joked, gesturing over to the girls caked in clay who were standing around the room, pretending to be Greek statues. Last he heard, his father had a serious girlfriend, and this time with someone a bit more age appropriate, rather than the busty 28 year olds he’d always brought around. Once they met Harry, their attention usually wavered, but he couldn’t blame them.

“Do yourself and everyone here a favor and lose the Old Fashioned,” his father said, ignoring his comment. “It’s barely noon.”

Harry gripped his glass harder, watching his father walk away. Doing this all for him? What a load of bull. Bart Styles didn’t care about anyone but himself. And that’s the only value Harry every learned from him.

**♥** **Zayn** **♥**

After having a great time with Liam at the LANY concert, Zayn had decided to invite him to the Styles’ brunch. It was an easy decision since his mom made it sound like he _had_ to go, and when Louis basically threw Zayn out that morning, he knew he needed back up of some sort. There was no way in hell he would walk into a brunch with all of his old friends hating him without someone in his corner, which was what Liam had become.

They had a lot in common. On the subway ride to the concert at Irving Plaza, the two of them bonded over things like comic books. Liam was a huge superhero geek like Zayn. Sure, this was something he and Louis had bonded over while growing up, but Louis clearly didn’t want Zayn in his life and Zayn wasn’t about to beg. He was pissed at all of them and everything they stood for. Rich, entitled snobs who needed to be taken down a notch.

Liam was vastly different from all of them. Hailing from Brooklyn, he’d gotten into St. Jude’s with a scholarship, which helped him pay their high tuition. He didn’t have any friends there, from what Zayn had gathered, but he couldn’t understand why. Liam was quirky and interesting, which made sense seeing as how he was a writer. Before the brunch, he’d asked Zayn what he should wear because he’d never gone to one of these. Eventually, he settled on a white button down with light brown slacks. What’s more, he didn’t hide his excitement over the buffet table, piling plate after plate with everything he liked. Usually no one ate more than a small helping, since they cared about maintaining their fit physiques, but Liam was walking back to their table with two plates in his hand and a bowl of oatmeal like he couldn’t give a single fuck. And that was why Zayn liked him. Liam was honest, funny, and a refreshing change from the people Zayn was used to.  

“Bart Styles sure knows how to throw a brunch, huh?” Liam asked, digging into his food right away.

Zayn nodded, popping a strawberry in his mouth. “He makes a lot of money from these things.”

“Figured,” Liam said. “Are you going to go say hi to your friends?”

“Nah,” Zayn shook his head. “Not interested.”

It was at that exact moment that Eleanor walked over to their table dressed in a short, white Victorian style dress. She had a gold clutch in her hands that matched her gold flats. She waved shyly before looking around the room as though she was on the lookout for something or someone. “Hi,” she said to Zayn before offering Liam a tentative, but confused, smile.

“Hi,” Liam responded, mouthful of eggs.

She frowned at him before looking back at Zayn. “We need to talk,” she said. “I’ll be out in the main hall.”

With that, she walked off and Liam looked at Zayn. “Sounded intense and important. Are you going to go talk to her?”

“Not sure if I should,” Zayn said quietly, staring down at his plate.

He knew on the one hand, he didn’t want to associate himself with any of them anymore, but on the other, he was really pissed that Eleanor took the liberty of telling Louis about what happened between them. It messed everything up and wasn’t something that Zayn had ever really wanted to tell Louis because it didn’t mean anything substantial to him. He was drunk and so was Eleanor. Yeah, she admitted to having feelings for him, but as soon as she did, Zayn told himself he’d stay away from her. He wasn’t even trying to justify what he did, but she still should have asked Zayn before spilling. Shit like this didn’t need to be exposed; otherwise it would end up on Gossip Girl and then _everyone_ would know.

Feeling angry all over again, he excused himself and walked out to the main hall where Eleanor was waiting with her phone out. She put it down once Zayn approached her.

“Honestly, what the hell were you thinking?” he asked her. “Telling Louis? Without asking or talking with me about it?”

“It just came out,” Eleanor told him. “I swear.”

“That’s not a good excuse, Eleanor!”

His voice rose, causing a few guests to glance over and Eleanor shook her hair to cover her face so that they wouldn’t see her. She reached into her bag and pulled out a key card. “This is the key for Harry’s suite upstairs. Meet me there so we can talk about this in private.”

“No, I’m not going to sneak around with you. Since you want Louis to know everything, talk it out right here.”

“Zayn,” Eleanor said firmly, looking him in the eyes. “Just ten minutes.”

He felt himself soften just a smidge because Eleanor had been, after all, one of his good friends at some point. They grew up together; no amount of drama was going to erase that. He eventually took the key card from her before walking back into the party to let Liam know. Thankfully, Liam was only through with a small portion of his meal and didn’t mind waiting.

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

Eleanor’s father, Damien, was droning on and on about his law firm, which almost had Louis falling asleep in his coffee. His friends had all disappeared a while ago. Oli and Calvin were flirting with these girls from Constance, hoping to get lucky by the end of the brunch. Eleanor had excused herself to the bathroom. Harry was busy at the bar, getting drunk as usual. And, of course, there was Zayn, who decided to show up with a nobody. Louis couldn’t say he’d ever seen him, but according to Harry, he went to St. Jude’s with them.

“So, I must say, it’s great to see that you’ve kept Eleanor so happy,” her father suddenly said.

Louis blinked at him for a moment. “Right.”

“Your mother and I always had a deal between us about the two of you. We think you’ll make such a wonderful power couple when you tie the knot. In fact, you already are a power couple. You two have got it all together -- brains, beauty, and money. What more could you need?”

Louis laughed humorlessly. “A deal, huh? Do you two always have to make everything sound like a business agreement?”

Damian chuckled like Louis was joking. “You guys will realize soon enough that it almost always is. I’m already telling Eleanor to keep in touch with my contacts so that she can strap in a summer internship, but she claims she’s too busy.”

“I’m sure she is,” Louis said. “We’re juniors right now and our workload is crazy.”

Looking over Damian’s shoulder, Louis noticed Harry standing close by, so he quickly smiled to Damian and excused himself to join Harry. Harry looked at him, expression serious and almost angry, and Louis wondered what crawled up his ass and got him all riled up.

“Where did everyone go?” Louis asked. “Even Eleanor’s missing. And I can’t believe Zayn had the audacity to show up.”

Harry’s eyebrow perked up and he smirked lazily. “I think I know where Eleanor is.”

“You do?” Louis asked.

“Yes.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a key card. “Take this up to my suite and she’ll be there.”

“What?” Louis dumbly asked.

Harry snorted, amused. “Don’t act so surprised. She’s practically gagging for it.” He gave Louis a once over, eyes lingering as he bit his bottom lip. “And I don’t blame her.”

Louis glared at Harry, hoping to get him to stop with all the eyeing. He knew Harry found him attractive, but it got him all flustered when Harry was so blatant about it. He wasn’t used to that. Usually when girls liked him, they were shy about it, but Harry was expressive and open in a way that made Louis’ heart rate pick up for no reason. “We’re in the middle of an event where our families are present! Why is she so insistent on having sex during major functions?”

“The heart -- or should I say, _the body_ \-- wants what it wants,” Harry explained in his nonsensical ways, waving his hand around and staring up at the ceiling. “Now, are you going to join her or not?”

Louis widened his eyes at Harry. “You’re serious? You’re just going to offer up your suite - your bed! - so we can have sex?”

“Absolutely,” Harry nodded. “I’m honored to play even a small role in your deflowering, Lou.”

Louis gasped, affronted. “You’re disgusting, Styles.”

“And you’re late. She’s been gone for a while, right?”

Louis nodded, looking around at the party. Zayn wasn’t around, but his little friend was gorging on food. He spotted his mom talking with Damien and rolled his eyes at whatever _deal_ they were making now. He contemplated just leaving the event altogether, the fun ended after his first mimosa. He thought that after confessing about Zayn,  Eleanor would have backed off about the sex, but clearly not. Deciding to ruin yet another one of her attempts, Louis smiled at Harry, saccharine and sweet.

“Why don’t you take me up?” he asked.

“To the suite?” Harry asked. “Why?”

“I’ve never really stayed at The Palace before. Don’t want to get lost.”

“Same. I only got a room thinking I’d get lucky today, but decided to sacrifice that for my two good friends,” Harry explained.

Louis fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Just take me up.”

“Are you anticipating that I’ll join you?” Harry grinned, dimples dipping in.

Louis almost gagged, but just nodded. “Maybe...if you’re lucky.”

That seemed to be all Harry needed to follow Louis out of the banquet hall and toward the elevators. When they reached Harry’s floor, Harry led Louis toward his room, putting his key card in. He gestured for Louis to go in first who was immediately met with the sight of Zayn and Eleanor. For a moment, he thought this was a plan Eleanor and Harry made to get Zayn and him to talk things out in a confined space, until the guilty look Eleanor shot at Harry confirmed that they were just up here on their own doing God knows what. Louis crossed his arms, leaning back on one foot. “What the fuck is going on in here then? Another _drunken_ _mistake_?”

“No,” Zayn shook his head quickly. “We were just talking.”

“About what?” Louis snapped before looking at Eleanor. “I thought you said you’d never speak to him again. I thought we were done with this.”

“We are,” Eleanor insisted, looking down at the floor. “But I had to tell Zayn why.”

“Oh, he knows why,” Louis countered back. “Couldn’t keep his dick in his pants even when it came to his best friend’s girlfriend.”

“ _Okay_ ,” Zayn talked over him, walking toward the door in a rush to get out. “Honestly, I’m the one that’s done. I’ll just let you guys get back to whatever you came up here for.” He eyed Harry by the door, who was watching on with an amused expression. “Great, did you tell _him_ , too?”

“They did,” Harry answered him. “And I must say, I’m impressed, Z. I admire you so much right now.”

Zayn glared at Harry’s cheesy grin, but Harry didn’t look deterred. “I don’t need this,” Zayn eventually said. “I don’t need any of this. Or any of you.”

“Right, because you can just have sex with whoever you want and run away _and_ try to lie about the whole thing,” Louis yelled at him. “You don’t get to do that, Zayn. You don’t get to fuck everything up and just walk away.”

Zayn stared at him for a long hard moment before shaking his head. “Except I will walk away, Lou. I apologize for what I did, I truly do, but I can’t change the past. What happened a year ago was wrong and I’m sorry, but I wasn’t the only one who did it. It took two.” He glanced at Eleanor before looking back at Louis. “That’s all I’ve got to say about it.”

He charged past Harry, who was still standing by the door, and out the room. Louis felt like it was the end of something. Like their friendship was really over and Zayn was completely out of their lives. But Louis’d accepted that a long time ago when Zayn left without saying a single word to Louis. At the time, he thought nothing could hurt more than that. Louis’ hurt and anger now stemmed more from the fact that Zayn had been keeping things from him and less about what he actually did, but he couldn’t say that out loud. Not when things felt so muddled with Eleanor. He loved her, yes, but he wasn’t sure in what way. He wished he could rewind to freshmen year when things weren’t so complicated. Back when Zayn was his ride or die, Eleanor was more into shopping than wanting to get into Louis’ pants, and Harry was -- well, he hadn’t really changed.

When Louis looked back at Eleanor, she was looking at him with a conflicted expression. “Now what?” she asked.

“Don’t even start with me. You told me you were done and then you came up here with him? What the fuck, El?”

“I was only talking to him, Lou. I wasn’t going to do anything else.”

“And how do you expect me to believe you ever again?” he asked her, raising an eyebrow.

Eleanor looked on the verge of tears and she, too, walked out the door in a hurry. Louis stood there, chest heaving, as he stared out the window at the Central Park view. Harry sighed softly, walking over to Louis. Louis had almost forgotten he was there. “Looks like it’s just you and me, then,” Harry said, watching as Louis looked up at him. “And apparently, my bed’s available.”

Louis gaped at him before rolling his eyes and walking out as well. This brunch was officially over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [fic post](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/post/161333536170/fic-dont-you-think-that-its-boring-how-people) / [fic page](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/ggau) / [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/123144119/playlist/16fRGD5NIFALexkMrQIUG3)


	3. now playing: “ribs” - lorde

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mentions of substance abuse and underage drinking

**Gossip Girl Blast #2249**

_Morning Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite._

_Today begins this year’s Ivy Week. What is Ivy Week, you may ask? It’s one of the most grueling yet exciting weeks for the junior class. Constance Billard Girls throw a mixer for all the Ivy League representatives while the St. Jude boys serve as ushers for each school based on conducted interviews with their headmaster. For those who dream of attending an Ivy League school, this mixer could determine it all for them, meaning things could get a little crazy. After all, super successful, socialite parents expect nothing less from their offspring, so the pressure is definitely on._

_Spotted outside of Constance Billard, Eleanor Calder looked rather down as she walked to the Ivy Week assembly. A source tells me she’s been heard talking about how she doesn’t even want to go to college. But everyone knows generations of Calder's have gone to Harvard and then onto law school. At least her on again, off again boyfriend, Louis, has his mind set on a school. Rumor has it, his mother has already paid the headmaster a hefty donation to ensure her son has the usher role for Yale. As for the others, Zayn’s been just as laissez faire as his ex-fling about this whole affair and we didn’t expect any less, but his new BFF, Liam Payne from Brooklyn, is said to be the aiming for the spot as Dartmouth’s usher. And Harry Styles? Well, no one ever really knows what goes on with him..._

_Stay tuned for Ivy Week drama. You know you love me._

_xoxo,_

_Gossip Girl_

**♥** **Harry** **♥**

Harry was glad he remembered to pack his joint in his Burberry school bag before leaving his apartment that morning. Two minutes into the Ivy Week assembly and he was itching to get out. The thing was, he just didn’t care about this stuff. He didn’t care about college or getting to know people who would supposedly be the gateway into his dream school; nor did he care about representing his school and family. As far as Harry knew, he didn’t really have one. So all of this was a waste of time. Harry didn’t think twice before getting up and walking out of the small room.

Surprisingly, Eleanor stayed back when Harry whispered to her during the assembly if she wanted to join him despite how down and out of it she’d been lately. He’d expected she’d want some sort release. For one, Louis wasn’t really speaking to her after the fiasco at The Palace brunch. And two, with it being Ivy Week, her parents expected her to be in charge of the preparations for the mixer. He felt bad for her, honestly. Her parents were drilling three things into her head almost every day: Harvard, Law School, Louis. Three things she didn’t want nor had at the moment.

Despite his own negligence, Harry was still interviewed for the usher role late last week after missing all of his other appointments. He told them he was sick to cover up his absences and they actually let it slide. What was more, despite all the other boys having been interviewed, they were willing to shift things around and asked Harry which school he’d like to usher for. When Harry told them whatever was available, Headmaster Charles asked a simple yet loaded question.

“Why should we choose you as an usher?”

“Why should I be chosen as an usher?” Harry mulled over several different responses, many of which were attempts at bullshitting the headmaster to get out of there as soon as he could, but in the end, only one response struck out to him. One that made a lot of sense. He pinched his bottom lip before they curved into a slow smile. “I’m Harry Styles.”

Headmaster Charles simply stared at Harry, probably expecting him to continue, but Harry let the silence linger, his fingers moving to straighten out his silk scarf around his neck. Eventually he was dismissed and told  they'd be posting the usher list sometime today in the afternoon, giving all the boys a full week to get ready for the mixer. Harry wasn’t even going to check. He was sure the list would be on Gossip Girl, anyway.

Instead, he chose to finish his joint outside of school before classes began. As he took his last hit, he saw Louis walk out of the doors of the assembly room with his minions behind him while Zayn and Liam trailed behind. So Zayn and Louis were still feuding as well, it seemed. Harry waited for Eleanor to come out and was surprised when Louis approached him, books held against his chest. He had some pretty big shoes to fill as well for Ivy Week. Louis was in charge of the Community Outreach Committee and would be announcing a charity of his choice that the school would donate to and honor.

“I need to talk to you,” Louis said.

Harry nodded in acknowledgement, his eyes transfixed on the red hues of Louis’ lips. They looked edible and he wondered what it would be like to kiss them. He’d asked Eleanor on countless occasions, but all she ever told him was that Louis was a good kisser. Harry, on the other hand, wanted details. He wanted to know how Louis moaned if you kissed and touched him just right, what the lines of his body looked like, and how cute his face was when he came. But, he supposed Eleanor wouldn’t know the last bit.

Sucked to be her.

Louis sent his minions away before sitting down with Harry on the brick ledge by the school entrance. “First of all, you reek like shit,” he began.

Harry burst out laughing, causing a few students to look in their direction. “Yeah, sorry. Just had a bit of smoke.”

“How ambitious,” Louis retorted before fixing Harry with a smirk. “I’ve got a favor to ask you.”

“A favor?” Harry raised his eyebrows. Louis nodded primly. “Well, the only time Louis Tomlinson could ever need me is definitely when he wants to scheme.”

“And you are, after all, the master of scheming.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Harry reprimanded with a frown. “Don’t cut yourself short. You deserve some of that title, too. It’s why we even get along. What’s this favor about?”

Louis sighed before looking around to make sure no one was nearby or listening. He turned to look back at Harry. “I want to find out why Zayn came back. I think there’s a big reason.”

“One can only guess that reason,” Harry said.

“Yeah, well I’m done guessing and now I want answers. I need you to find out for me and report back so we can plan something before the mixer. This can be a wonderful opportunity for the two of us to uncover a secret and possibly cause some trouble.”

Louis’ shockingly blue eyes glinted with mischief. “I accept,” Harry responded, slow as he appreciated Louis’ eyes a bit more. He wondered how they’d look when he was turned on.

“Wonderful,” Louis grinned, standing up. “I’m off to class, but you know where to find me.” He started to walk away and Harry was admiring his curves in the fitted St. Jude’s uniform until Louis turned around again. “Oh, and Harry. This has to stay between us, okay?”

Harry gave Louis a salute in agreement and Louis turned back around, walking into the building. When Harry looked back at the assembly room, he realized everyone had left and gone to class, so he’d missed Eleanor. But knowing her, she would have definitely come up to him and Louis if she saw them together, meaning she never came out at all. Weird, but Harry would just have to catch up with her later. For now, he had work to do.

After classes ended, Harry sat in his car with his driver outside of school until he saw Zayn walk out and then prompted his driver to follow him. Zayn was unaware for the most part since he was on foot. After twenty minutes of following, Harry was starting to think this was a bust, since it seemed like Zayn was going absolutely nowhere interesting. That was until, finally, Zayn walked through the gates of a building labeled The Ostroff Treatment Center. Harry quickly snapped some pictures of him and googled the place, grinning when he learned it was a rehab clinic. He texted the pictures to Louis and to his surprise, Louis texted him back right away.

_Come over to my place pronto!_

He couldn’t hide the pleased grin on his face as he made his way to Louis’ apartment. Dorota let him in and Harry went up to Louis’ room where Louis pulled up the pictures on his computer. Harry sat patiently on Louis’ bed, waiting for some sort of job well done.

“You know, if you weren’t such a perv, I’m sure the C.I.A. would hire you in a heartbeat,” Louis finally smiled at him.

Harry snickered, amused. “I’d be honored to defend our country.”

“Relax, I was kidding. But good job, Styles. Now the question is -- why was Zayn there?” Louis trailed off.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Harry asked him. “Ostroff is a rehab clinic for the disturbed and addicted.”

“Then you must have your own wing there,” Louis joked.

Harry shot him a surprised, yet delighted look despite the insult. “You know...you don’t get nearly  enough credit for your wit.”

“Thanks for the support,” Louis chimed. “Anyway, these pictures basically gave us our answer and I’m going to be using it.”

“How?”

“I’m thinking total social destruction.”

“And here I thought you were going soft,” Harry said, leaning back on his palms. He glanced around the room, focusing on the bed he was sitting on. Nice and firm. He looked back at Louis, who was biting his lip, gears already turning in his head on the next part of their scheme. “So, this is your bed, huh?”

Louis glanced up at him and his brows formed a soft, knowing frown. “You can leave now.”

Harry groaned, rolling his eyes. “Fine. Guess you can repay me another time.”

To his surprise, Louis’ cheeks flushed bright pink, and he took that mental image with him all the way back to his car and The Empire.

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

Preparations continued for Ivy Week’s mixer that Saturday. Louis spent his days leading up to it by reading up on the representative for Yale. Ushering for Yale was a role he’d wanted badly and would have done anything to get. Of course, it helped that his mother spoke to their headmaster and ensured that Louis was the one chosen. But it was more than bribery that got Louis the role. He was, after all, top of his class and _that_ was all his doing.

Aside from Ivy Week prep, Louis was also working on his plan with Harry to get rid of Zayn for once and for all. This city was simply not big enough for both of them and Zayn needed to go back to Conneti-who cared. It irked Louis, seeing Zayn slumming it his new friend, parading around St. Jude’s as though they were best friends. Louis didn’t want to admit it, but it hurt seeing Zayn actually move on from him and their past friendship so easily when Louis was a mess when Zayn left.

Despite all that, Louis channelled his hurt into anger, which was why he couldn’t wait to put his plan into action at the Saturday mixer.

On the day, Louis dressed in a black suit with a navy blue dress shirt, all from Armani, before making his way over to school. Everything was underway and it seemed like the girls from Constance really pulled out all the stops for this event. There was live music, an open bar, and tons of appetizers. It was set up in the back courtyard and students were arriving bit by bit with their family members. Looking around, Louis spotted Eleanor sitting in a corner with Harry, the two of them laughing about something or another. As far as Louis knew, Harry didn’t even get an usher position. But Zayn’s little charity case did for Dartmouth. Zayn himself got Brown University, the school his father attended and most likely wanted Zayn to go to.

“Fetch me a drink, will you, Lou?” Anastasia asked, already walking over to someone she knew to greet them.

“On it, Mother,” Louis said, taking one more glance around the place to make sure the Yale rep wasn’t there yet. He wanted to be ready for when he did arrive so that Louis could greet him properly. Louis made his way over to the bar, asking for his mother’s favorite when Harry sidled up to him.

“Hey,” he said, voice deep and syrupy. “You look ravishing.”

“Are you surprised?” Louis cocked his head to the side. Harry was wearing a tan tweed suit, making an otherwise tacky get up actually look nice. He had a knack for fashion -- he could wear anything he wanted and always work it.

“Of course not,” Harry shook his head.

Louis tried to hide his smile. “So, what have you been up to? Did you even get an usher position?”

“Yeah, actually,” Harry said. “Last minute.”

“For what school?”

“Princeton,” he smiled, glancing over to a woman wearing a tight fitted black dress. Louis eyed her suspiciously as she talked to a student before looking at Harry and offering him a small wink. Louis raised his eyebrows in surprise and turned back to Harry.

“You’re unbelievable. And also gross.”

“You won’t be saying that when you hear who’s here.” Harry grinned as he walked over to the entrance, shaking a man’s hand as he brought him over to Louis. “Louis, may I introduce you to Dr. Ostroff?”

Louis’ eyes lit up and he offered his sweetest smile to the other man. “Dr. Ostroff, pleasure to meet you. We have so much to talk about. Can I get you a drink first?”

“Pleasure to meet you as well, Louis. And yes, I would love one,” Dr. Ostroff smiled.

Harry gave them both a toothy, mischievous grin before walking off with the Princeton rep. Meanwhile, Louis exchanged pleasantries and small talk with Dr. Ostroff until the Yale rep arrived. After that, he was whisked away, making sure Daniel Hannan, the Yale representative, was well attended to. Louis didn’t get a moment to even think about Zayn, who was busy with the Brown University rep, until the headmaster approached him about the Community Outreach Committee speech he had to deliver.

Louis excused himself from Daniel and made his way over to the small stage set up for the band. He smiled as he said into the microphone, “Good morning. If I can have everyone’s attention for a moment.” Heads turned to look over at him before their voices quieted down. “Great, so, I’d like to welcome everyone to the Constance Billard/St. Jude’s Annual Ivy Mixer. This event is so important for us students who are looking to go to the most prestigious universities in this country, and I want to thank all the representatives from each school that took the time to join us today. Can everyone give them a round of applause please?”

Clapping along with everyone else, Louis’ eyes wandered over to where Zayn was sitting with his mother. Harry was nearby, watching Louis with a smirk, and Dr. Ostroff was just a few feet away from Louis, clearly waiting for his cue.

“Thank you,” Louis continued, beaming at everyone. “Now for those who don’t know, I’m Louis Tomlinson, and I am the chair of the Community Outreach Committee. Every year, the committee and the school work together to raise funds for a local institution or charity that we think benefits our community the best. This year, the committee and I have chosen to honor The Ostroff Center.”

Zayn’s face blanched.

“This choice is a very personal one. The Ostroff Center has, in fact, helped one of our very own peers. Their program aids countless addicts and alcoholics and because of them, a student here has been clean and sober.” Louis chuckled, “ At least for now. Can you all give a round of applause for Zayn Malik as he joins me on stage.”

A chorus of claps resounded and Louis watched curiously as Zayn whispered with his mother. A moment later, his father joined and their expressions were grim. Eventually, Zayn made a move to come on stage. He offered everyone a small smile on the way up, but when Louis met his hazel eyes, they were wet and scared. Louis frowned, not expecting the guilt that coursed through him as he backed away, allowing Zayn to take the microphone.

He cleared his throat, yet his voice was shaky as he spoke. “Hi everyone, I’m Zayn. Thank you for joining us here today. It’s truly a wonderful event and it’s even greater that we have committees like Community Outreach that honor institutions like The Ostroff Center. I’d like to thank my friend, Louis, for choosing them, as they are really great in all the things that they do.” He looked at Louis, a sad smile on his face this time, eyes downturned. “Thank you, Louis.” He joined his hands together, clapping them, and bringing about another round of applause.

But Louis couldn’t move. He was paralyzed with guilt and shame, suddenly not able to fathom how he did what he did. And as if Zayn could sense Louis’ hesitation, he continued, “May we please have Dr. Ostroff on stage?”

The rest of the event felt like a blur. It was a good thing Daniel was busy attending to other students interested in Yale, because Louis desperately needed a drink. Eleanor found him by the bar, downing a champagne flute. She looked pissed and Louis knew what she was going to say before she even said it.

“That wasn’t cool, Louis.”

“Of course you would defend him, seeing as how close you two are,” Louis retorted, rolling his eyes.

“It’s not about how close I am with him, it’s because no one will ever be as close as you two were,” Eleanor frowned, her expression sad. “No one ever even came close to having the bond you two had and they never will. But what you did up there was just heartless, and this might come as a shock to someone who thinks he knows everything, but I never thought you could stoop so low and pry into his life like that when you have no right anymore. You don’t even know the story. You don’t know what he’s going through, Louis. So what you did was fucked up. Own up to it and just admit it.”

Flushed from anger, Eleanor turned around, walking back to the mixer, leaving Louis feeling worse than he did before.

**♥** **Zayn** **♥**

It was raining hard as Zayn sat on a bench under a footbridge in Central Park. The park was near empty, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He had his sketch pad out on his lap, fingers moving on their own accord with his pencil, drawing the fountain that was in front of him. Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice when Louis walked over, carrying a Burberry umbrella over his head.

“Hey,” Louis said.

Zayn looked up, raising his eyebrows. “Here for another round?” he asked, sarcasm evident in his tone.

Louis shook his head slowly, coming to a stand beside Zayn. “No. Just here to read you something.”

Zayn looked at the ground for a moment, knowing he shouldn’t pay Louis anymore mind, so he continued to sketch.

“I wrote you something when you were in boarding school,” Louis continued. “It’s been sitting in my notes for a year but I never texted it to you. And I just thought I should read it to you now.”

Fingers stilling, Zayn listened quietly.

“Zayn,” Louis began reading. “It’s been exactly three months and four days since you left and it feels like everything’s falling apart. Every time something goes wrong, I think of you and how I wish I could talk to you because I know you’d be the only one who would ever understand me. Last night, Mother told me that she and Walter are getting divorced. He’s left her for a 30 year old male model and she’s a mess. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her cry the way she has. Even my sisters were crying and I felt like I had to be strong for them even though I didn’t know what to say or do. No one asked me how I was feeling and everything’s just bottling up.

“I have absolutely no one I can talk to. You left, so who else is there? Eleanor’s been acting weird and I think I’m falling out of love with her. It’s strange. I don’t know how to explain it, but I don’t think I’ve got things figured out as much as I say and act like I do. There’s something inside that I can’t say out loud and I just wish you could be here. I just need to know where you are...why don’t you call? Why did you leave without saying goodbye? I thought we were brothers, Z. I miss you so much. I wish you were here right now so that it could be like how it always was. You would sleep over and we’d stay up all night, talking and laughing. There’s nothing I want more. Please come back.”

His voice was shaking by the time he finished and Zayn felt his eyes welling up. It was rare that Louis allowed himself to be vulnerable like that. Zayn left because he had his own issues to work out and he did, but he left someone who loved him behind -- Louis. He deserved an explanation. He deserved so much more than what Zayn did to him.

Zayn stood up slowly, a tear rolling down his cheek as he faced Louis. “Why didn’t you send that to me?” he asked him.

“Because you _knew_ , Zayn. You knew everything and you still didn’t do anything. You didn’t call, you didn’t visit. You didn’t even send me a fucking text,” Louis replied, wiping roughly at his eyes.

“I didn’t know what to say to you, Lou,” Zayn admitted. “I didn’t even know how to be your friend after what I did. I was a mess. I needed to fix myself. And I’m so sorry, Louis. I’m so sorry.”

In a moment, Louis’ arms wrapped around Zayn and they hugged each other tightly. It felt like something heavy lifted off of Zayn and he felt lighter than he had in a long time. The rain around them felt fresh, like new beginnings.

**♥** **Liam** **♥**

Liam felt like ever since the Ivy Mixer, he and Zayn had gotten a lot closer. Before, they’d gotten to know each other and what was on the surface. Such as the fact that Zayn was actually really nice, contrary to what Liam used to think when he watched him from afar and through Gossip Girl blasts. Zayn was also a major comic book and superhero geek, like him, and he was also a lovely artist, though he didn’t showcase it as much as he should. In turn, Liam told Zayn he was an aspiring writer. He told him about his parents and sisters and all their quirky stories from Brooklyn. And he told him about about all of his hobbies -- going to concerts, writing in Prospect Park, and eating the greasiest burgers in Queens.

Their friendship was new and budding, progressing slowly at a good rate, until Louis outted Zayn’s biggest secret.

When Zayn had disappeared a year ago, no one really knew why. Liam didn’t ask him when they first became friends. He didn’t think it was something that was important for him to know unless Zayn wanted him to. Zayn never brought it up. He hardly talked about his life before he left. It seemed like he wanted to move away from that and for good reason. Liam wasn’t keen on the crowd Zayn used to be a part of, so he was sort of selfishly thankful Zayn wasn’t talking to them anymore.

After the scene at the mixer, Zayn asked Liam to meet him that night to chat and hang out. They grabbed dollar pizzas on MacDougal Street and talked on a bench at the park nearby. Turned out, Zayn had a serious partying and drug problem. He was reckless, drinking almost every night and taking pills he didn’t even know the names of. Most nights he blacked out, but some he found himself feeling empty and lonely. The world he lived in was so shallow and made him think he had everything he needed or wanted, but also left him feeling like he had no depth. It came to the point where he felt like he needed to get away from it all to fully get it all out of his system. Upon his return to the city, his parents insisted he go to the Ostroff Center to seek a bit of help and guidance just to make sure he didn’t go out of control like he used to.

This story was something Zayn didn’t really want to share with everyone, but after Louis’ reveal at the mixer, Gossip Girl wrote about it and everyone knew. Still, Zayn said he’d like for only his close friends to know his side of the story. Everyone else was always just going to talk and he’d deal with that later.

It made Liam happy that Zayn called him a close friend. In the past two and a half years he’d been attending St. Jude’s, he hadn’t made one friend. His best friend was Max Hurd, but he went to a public school in Brooklyn where he lived. Now, Liam also had Zayn. He couldn’t understand Zayn’s lifestyle, though, nor did he agree with a lot of it. He resented a lot of his classmates for their privilege and their money, especially Louis, who seemed to be the snobbiest of them all. How could he do what he did to Zayn? Weren’t they best friends once? Didn’t they grow up together? Even if Liam had a falling out with a friend like that, he still wouldn’t have done what Louis did.

But that wasn’t his place to say. Zayn could do what he pleased and it seemed he and Louis had made up because that following Monday, the two of them were sitting on the Met steps, laughing over their breakfasts. Zayn had sent him a text, asking him to come meet him, and Liam joined them on the stairs tentatively.

“Hey Liam,” Zayn greeted him brightly as soon as he saw him.

“Morning, Zayn,” Liam smiled, glancing over at Louis, who was watching him calculatingly. “You too, Louis.”

“Is that...bacon, I smell? And cheese?” he asked, in lieu of a greeting, Liam supposed.

“Um, yeah,” Liam nodded, taking out his breakfast sandwich that his Dad had made for him. “It’s a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. Do you want some?”

Louis widened his eyes like Liam had just offered him raw frog legs. “Absolutely not. That stuff is going to kill you one day.”

“Least I can say I enjoyed it,” Liam joked. Zayn tittered while Louis looked unamused and a little bit bored.

“Right,” Louis continued. “Anyway, I’m going to go meet with Calvin and Oli. I need to ask them how my week is looking. Meet me later after you’re done with your charity case, Z.” He gave Liam a pointed look and walked down the steps whilst carrying his Louis Vuitton bookbag over his shoulder.

As soon as he was gone, Zayn turned to look at Liam apologetically. “Sorry about him. He’s not great with new people.”

“Are you sure he’s good with people he already knows? Because he literally announced to sixty students, their families, school faculty, and Ivy League reps that you have a drug and drinking problem,” Liam pointed out.

“I know, I know,” Zayn said, looking down at his yogurt parfait. “It’s hard to explain. Louis and I have too much history and we both messed up. We’re trying to work things out, you know? He’ll warm up to you eventually, I promise.”

“Sorry, Zayn, but I’m not holding my breath But that’s fine. I don’t need Louis Tomlinson’s approval, anyway.”

Zayn nodded, understandingly, before changing the subject. “Did you catch that episode of _The Flash_?”

“ _Yes_ , and I was freaking out!” Liam answered, the two of them falling into mindless chatter until it was time for classes.  

**♥** **Eleanor** **♥**

It took Eleanor by surprise when she was among the people Louis had texted to invite to his and Zayn’s party at Louis’ place. They were properly celebrating Zayn coming back with a small group of friends and Eleanor didn’t think she’d get invited. Things between her and Louis were still weird. They hadn’t properly spoken or hung out in days. Zayn still wasn’t talking to Eleanor, and that was fine. She knew when to let go of things that weren’t there anymore.

She did approach Zayn after Louis’ little scene at the mixer, though. She wanted to know how he was doing and he ended up coming clean, telling her Louis was telling the truth. In fact, Zayn admitted that the night they hooked up he was under the influence, which made his decision making that much more awful. It was a tough pill to swallow considering Eleanor wasn’t that drunk and thought it meant more. They were close and she’d thought the feeling was mutual, but it was what it was.

Now, she wanted to focus on her and Louis. She had to, otherwise, her parents would be so pissed with her. Hopefully, tonight she could patch things up with him and they could go back to some semblance of normalcy. With Zayn by his side again, Louis was smiling a lot more, something Eleanor had noticed at school when she spotted the two of them walking out of classes together. So this could be a good thing for her.

After slipping on a new floral printed dress from Tory Burch, Eleanor made her way over to The Empire to pick up Harry. He walked out wearing a headscarf and his ripped black jeans with a lilac silk shirt. Eleanor wondered who he was trying to impress, considering his pants were so tight they were practically glued on, making his long legs look amazing.

“I need to stop by the bank. Don’t have any cash on me,” she told him as they sat in Harry’s car. He was the only one out of all of them with a proper car and designated driver.  

“Sure,” Harry answered, playing on his phone. He told as much to his driver, who pulled up in front of a Bank of America. Eleanor got out, walking inside the empty bank toward the ATM inside. When she tried to transact her money, an error kept showing up on screen, so she asked for her balance and account summary, instead.

To her surprise, it was listed that she had $0.00 in her account, which was ridiculous considering just a few days ago, she saw over $300,000 in there. She hadn’t gone on any shopping sprees in between, so it made no sense. With her heart thrumming in her chest, she walked back to the car, pulling out her phone to call her Dad’s accountant. Her bank account was refilled monthly by her Dad and was never zeroed out. If a transfer didn’t go through, her Dad’s accountant would have notified him, who would have in turn let Eleanor know.

“Hey Gary, it’s Eleanor. Sorry for calling you so late, but I’ve got a bit of a problem.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Harry glance up, worried frown on his face.

“What’s going on?” Gary asked her.

“I went to take out some money from my account, but it says I’m zeroed out,” she explained. “I’m assuming it’s an error because I’m sure I didn’t max out my account.”

“Miss Calder, I was sure you knew,  your account was drained a week ago,” Gary told her.

Widening her eyes, Eleanor asked, “What? By who?”

“Your father. He’d told me that it was something you’d agreed to and you two discussed.”

“Oh, I -- I guess he might have mentioned it,” Eleanor lied, not knowing what else to say. Why would her dad do that and not tell her? How long was he planning to keep it a secret? It made no sense. She tuned back into her phone call. “Anyway, thanks Gary. Have a good night.”

She hung up the phone, putting it and her wallet back in her purse. Harry was still staring at her, but she didn’t know what to say to him. Being her best friend, he understood the look on her face, and he didn’t ask. When they arrived at Louis’, they silently took the lift upstairs. When the doors opened, they heard loud music and laughter. All their friends, including that guy Zayn’s been hanging out with, were there. In the living room, Zayn and Louis were singing karaoke, looking slightly drunk off of what Eleanor assumed was champagne, since that was the only drink on the table beside the wall.

Harry gave her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before strolling over to a couple of guys by the couches. Eleanor, not knowing what else to do, went to grab a drink and wait for Louis to stop singing so that she could talk to him. She was stressed beyond belief. It wasn't just the fact that she had no money at the moment, but for some reason, she had this thought that her father was hiding something from her. Or else why would he do what he did?

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Louis and Zayn finished their rendition of Lady Gaga’s “Applause” and sloppily made their toward the center of the party. They were laughing and talking when Eleanor approached them.  

“Guys,” she smiled softly.

They both looked up, grins on their faces, and it was Louis who addressed her first. “Oh, El. So happy you’re here. Did you get a drink? I got champagne delivered from France this morning.”

“It’s so good,” Zayn agreed.

“He’s drinking in moderation, though,” Louis informed her. “My boy’s doing so well.” He wrapped his arms lazily around Zayn and they stood in front of Eleanor in an embrace. It felt like she was stuck in a time warp and nothing had changed.

“That’s nice,” she said. “I did get a drink. But Lou...I was wondering if we could talk? In your room.”

Louis looked a bit caught off guard and offered a reluctant smile. “There’s a party going on, though. I can’t just walk away from it. Plus, tonight’s all about Zayn. I promise we’ll talk soon, ok?”

There really wasn’t anything more Eleanor could say. It was becoming more and more clear to her that what she and Louis had wasn’t there anymore. It was falling apart and the two were holding onto a single thread, waiting to see who would cut it first. Seeing as how their parents were the ones who really wanted them together, it was going to be a difficult decision for both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [fic post](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/post/161333536170/fic-dont-you-think-that-its-boring-how-people) / [fic page](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/ggau) / [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/123144119/playlist/16fRGD5NIFALexkMrQIUG3)


	4. now playing: “with me” - sum 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: underage drinking, underage sex, and issues with parents.

** Gossip Girl Blast #2287 **

_ Hey Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite.  _

_ I’ve been getting word that burlesque is back in style again, and no, I’m not talking about the Cher and Christina Aguilera movie. I’m talking about burlesque clubs with costumes and dancing while people do strip teases up on stage to sexy music. Who knew those still existed? But looks like Harry Styles is bringing it back.  _

_ Spotted: Louis Tomlinson picking up some cash at the ATM with his new BFF Harry. The two have been real chummy lately and I’ve heard it’s because Louis is helping Harry out with the club. With Miss Calder seemingly disappeared from the scene these last few days, so Harry obviously needed someone to be his right hand during the process. Now I don’t know about you guys, but Tomlinson and Styles seem like trouble together. But then again, you know how much I love trouble.  _

_ Can’t wait to see what they cook up together,  and you’ll hear all about it here first.  _

_ You know you love me.  _

_ xoxo, _

_ Gossip Girl _

** ♥  ** ** Liam  ** ** ♥ **

Liam met Max on the first day of 6th grade. It was a new school and felt like a whole new world. The transition between elementary school and middle school was vastly underrated. Suddenly, instead of small desks, they had to be responsible for lockers to keep their books in. Cliques were formed and became a major thing. Puberty was on the cusp of beginning. Middle school was a tough time, but Max made things easier for Liam. 

They weren’t quite two peas in a pod, but they complemented each other well. While Liam loved writing, Max was big on photography. In fact, his first big splurge from working at the pizza parlor was one of those big cameras from P.C. Richards. The two of them were passionate about their different hobbies and similar opinions of their peers. Such as their mutual dislike of the upperclassmen. Liam detested the rich folk after starting at St. Jude’s and seeing how the other half lived. He thought they were shallow and selfish. Max hated them because his mom ran away with a millionaire, leaving him and his father in a one bedroom apartment in Flatbush. They were doing better now, but Max never forgave his mom or the rich guy that lured her away. 

But then Liam met Zayn, and now he was slowly starting to realize that maybe all rich people weren’t so bad. Zayn was becoming an integral part of Liam’s everyday life. They saw each other five days a week and had gotten past the point of their friendship where they could tell each other everything. Because of that, it was important for Liam that Zayn and Max met. Their paths would have to cross at some point. However, when he broached the topic during breakfast at Liam’s family’s loft on Saturday morning, Max was less than thrilled with the prospect. 

“Look,” Max said, mouth full of pancakes. Liam’s mom was a cook and Max took full advantage of that given the fact that him and his dad lived off of take out from the corner Chinese restaurant. “I don’t know why you’re pushing it. I have no interest in overprivileged, under-parented trust fund brats from your fancy school. For all I know,  _ your friend _ , Zayn, roams around the city in a big, stretch limo.” He gagged as if to show how gross that idea might be -- they were city kids who grew up on the subway. 

Liam agreed with the last bit, but he was pretty sure that Harry was the only one out of all of them to have his own driver and car. Harry was douchey, though, and that was no surprise. Zayn, however, wasn’t Harry. Zayn took the subway and used Ubers. He was  _ different _ . But Liam couldn’t forget that he once felt the same way as Max did. They used to sit around and make non-committal plans to crash those Upper East Side parties, egg their cars, and slash their tires. 

“What’s the deal, Liam?” Max asked, taking a sip from his orange juice. “You used to hate that kind of stuff...people like Zayn.”

“I do,” Liam insisted, frowning down at his plate. “It’s not like me hanging out with Zayn means that I’m suddenly one of them. Don’t you get that, Max? I’m never going to be them. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t be friends with some of them. You know me and you know how I am. Trust me when I say that Zayn is really cool and you’ll get along.”

Max sighed deeply, glancing over at Liam from over his fork. “I do trust you, Li. I just don’t know if you’ve got it this time.” 

Liam didn’t argue further. One of these days he was going to get Max to see what he sees and maybe then he would understand. Until then, he would just have to stick to hanging out with Max in Brooklyn and Zayn in Manhattan. 

** ♥  ** ** Harry  ** ** ♥ **

“I’ve gotta say, Styles,” Louis said, eyes drifting around the club. “You’ve really outdone yourself. You actually have potential to turn this strip joint into a really big franchise business.”

Harry groaned, though it came out more fond than anything. “For the  _ last time _ , Louis. It’s not a strip joint. It’s a burlesque club and it’s much more classier than a strip club. It’s got a 1920’s theme. As soon as people walk through the doors, they’ll be transported into another time where they can have fun and let loose without any sort of judgment. Consider this a pure escape.”

The idea for Victrola, Harry’s burlesque club, came after he watched a couple of old movies from the 1900s, like  _ Lady of Burlesque _ ,  _ Sweet Charity _ and  _ Cabaret _ . He was inspired and liked the whole vibe of it. When he went online to search for a local club, he didn’t find any that really piqued his interest nor lived up to his high standards. So he decided that why not make a burlesque club right here on the Upper East Side? People loved themed venues. It would surely be popular. 

He’d spent days perfecting every little detail from the bar, the girls and boys who’d be dancing up on stage, the music, the furniture, and right down to the color of the walls. Harry was behind every step and he couldn’t remember ever being as proud of something as he was of this club. The next step was getting his father to invest in it and get the word out. This was Harry’s way of finally trying to get into his father’s good graces, especially regarding the family business. His father was an investor, having shares across several different industries, from fashion to cars. 

“I, for one, am impressed,” Louis complimented, leaning back against the bar counter. “It’s great that your years of underage boozing and addiction to sex has finally paid off.”

“Means a lot to have your seal of approval,” Harry admitted with a small grin. He had actually been relying on Louis’ help in areas that he needed guidance in, such as decorating. “You are, after all, my second toughest critic.” First being his father. 

“Ah, Bart Styles is rather picky, isn’t he? Do you think he’ll go for it?” Louis questioned. 

“I do,” Harry nodded confidently. “The Styles empire was built on innovative thinking and if this isn’t innovative, I wouldn’t know what is. I’ve finally figured out my niche and it feels good.” 

Louis smiled before leaning forward and away from the bar. “Anywho, I’ve got to get to class. Are you coming?”

“Can’t today,” Harry shook his head. “I’ve got to pitch this to my father in a few and his assistant could only fit me in for today.”

“Good luck, Styles,” Louis said, walking off toward the door. “Don’t be too nervous. You know he’s going to go for it.”

“Let’s have a victory party here tonight.”

“Sounds good. Wouldn’t miss it.”

“I’ll send you and the others a car.” 

Louis threw his hand up in a wave, exiting the club as he did, and Harry walked over to the bartop where his file was sitting. It was the documents needed for when he pitched the club to his father. He opened the file, going over all the details once more, like monthly rent, monthly income, salary rates, etc. He’d worked with his father’s accountant to get this all ready. He just hoped it all worked out. 

It was another hour or so later that Eleanor walked through the doors. Harry glanced over at her in surprise, getting up and crossing the room to reach her. “Where the hell have you been?” he asked, pulling her into a hug. “I haven’t seen you in fucking days.” 

“Sorry, sorry,” she mumbled against his shirt. “Things have been...weird at home.”

Harry frowned as he pulled back, leading her over to a set of sofas. “Everything okay? Does this have to do with the money in your account?”

“You mean the  _ lack of _ money in my account?” Eleanor asked, rolling her eyes. “I think so. My dad’s hiding something. I tried to speak to him about the account and he said he’ll take care of it. Won’t tell me where my money went or why it’s not there anymore. I mean, that was  _ my _ trust fund money. He had no right to just take it.” 

Harry nodded in understanding. “I’d be pissed if my father did that.”

“That’s not all,” she continued. “I -- I found drugs in his office.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “What?”

“There were pills in a packet in one of his drawers. I was snooping to get some answers. I also think we’re going broke because he keeps talking about how doing business with the Tomlinsons will really help us.” 

“Well...shit. Did you tell your mother?”

Eleanor sighed dejectedly. “I did, but she’s not taking me seriously. Keeps telling me my dad has everything under control.” 

“Maybe he does,” Harry offered. “Try not to worry too much. If you need money, I’ve got you.”

Eleanor shook her head. “No, don’t worry about it. Dad transferred some cash in my account after I went to him, but not as much as what my trust fund was. But forget all that. Tell me about this club you’re opening. Everyone’s been talking about it.”

“And everyone will continue to talk about it,” Harry grinned confidently. “It’s going to be the next hot thing in this city if my father decides to invest in it.”

“It looks great, Harry,” Eleanor smiled, looking around the place and admiring the burgundy walls and mahogany furniture. “Do you need any help with anything? I have free time until after lunch.”

“You could help me go over my pitch to my father,” Harry suggested. 

“I’m your girl.”

The two of them went through Harry’s pitch a couple of more times until Eleanor had to head back to Constance and finish up classes for the day. She promised to call him later to ask how the pitch went. Once she left, Harry packed up his stuff as well and headed over to his father’s office. It was on Wall Street, which made the commute long, but would hopefully be worth it. Bart’s secretary, Marla, let Harry in right away, but funnily enough, he wasn’t alone. 

Harry walked in on him and his new girlfriend mid-make out session. Bart even had his hand up her tight pencil skirt. Harry had only met Clarice a handful of times, but she was pleasant. He guessed she was somewhere around her late thirties, only been divorced once, and had no kids, which meant her body was still very much in shape. Good for his father, Harry thought. If Bart wasn’t already involved, Harry wouldn’t mind getting to know Clarice either. She had exquisite lips and her long, blond hair was rather nice to look at. 

“Father,” Harry called, closing the door behind him. Immediately, Bart and Clarice sprang apart. Harry couldn’t help but smile in amusement. 

“Harry,” his father greeted with a nod as he fixed his hair. Clarice immediately started buttoning her top before straightening out her skirt. She whispered something to Bart before walking past Harry and giving him a small but embarrassed smile. As she closed the door behind her Bart took a seat at his desk, looking up at Harry pointedly. 

It would be nice if Bart wasn’t so stern. Harry was nervous as it was, so he decided to start with a casual conversation. “Clarice is still around. I’m assuming it’s serious then?” he asked. 

“Why do you ask? Planning to seduce her like you did with Penelope?” 

Harry couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Oh, for the last time, Father, she came onto me.” 

“What’s gone is gone, Harry. What are you even doing here dressed up in a suit? Something happen at school?” Bart asked. 

It wouldn’t bode well with his father if he knew Harry didn’t even go to school that day, so he cut straight to the chase. “I have an investment idea, actually, for your company that I think will benefit it in a unique way that none of your previous investments have. It’s something a little avant-garde and yet nostalgic. Something that could really put Styles Inc. on the map as the top business group in the world.”

To Harry’s shock, his father smiled at him. With a broad grin, he said, “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” Harry said slowly, unsure of where this was headed. He was skeptical because he was never sure where Bart Styles’ head was. Harry was anticipating some hesitance, definitely not this. 

“Am I dreaming? I didn’t think I’d ever see the day that Harry Styles finally pulled his head out of partying long enough to think of something productive!”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh. This was completely unexpected. He’d thought there would be some doubt from his father, but he looked pleased. Harry breathed a sigh of relief before taking out his proposal file and putting it on Bart’s desk. “This is the briefing on everything. I’ve researched, I’ve got the numbers. Everything you would need to know is in there. But first, I think you just need to see the place. I’ve had it all re-done and it literally sells itself. Will you come? The address is on the first page.”

Bart widened his eyes at Harry’s enthusiasm and preparation. He opened his planner and nodded. “I can make it after my three o’clock meeting. Does that work for you?”

“It works amazing. Thank you!” 

Harry saw himself out and headed back to the club while grabbing some food on the way. He texted Eleanor the update and then paused over Louis’ name in his recent messages. Louis was in class at the moment, but Harry really wanted to call him and tell him the news rather than send a text. He was most excited to tell Louis and he wanted to  _ hear _ Louis’ excitement. He would just have to wait until after the school day ended. When Harry arrived back at the club, he still felt jittery with anticipating nerves, but twofold than before he went to his father. 

He walked around, making sure everything was in its place. He didn’t want one thing to go wrong. When he passed by the bar, the bartender, Tony, slid over a glass of scotch. Harry looked at the glass for a moment and Tony raised his eyebrows, gesturing for Harry to take it. “You look like you could use some.” 

Harry hadn’t realized he was so wound up. Without a second thought, he grabbed the glass, taking a sip. It did ease him a bit and soon he was chitchatting with the staff while having another drink. They were mostly dancers, who’d taken a liking to him ever since he picked them during the hiring process. He was distracted enough to miss when his father finally walked in, taking in the surroundings and Harry sitting at the bar with the girls. 

As soon as Harry saw him, he got up, walking up to him a little unsteadily. The drinks he had were making his head spin from the sudden movement. He cleared his throat before addressing his father. “Thanks so much for coming. I, um, I wasn’t expecting you for a bit. It’s still two.” 

Bart looked unimpressed. “I was able to shift around my meeting after I looked at your proposal. It was great and I really thought that you were taking this seriously.”

Harry frowned at his disappointed tone. “I am. I’m taking this _ very _ seriously.”

“Doesn’t look like it. You’re sitting here drunk with girls hanging off of you and the club hasn’t even opened. You want me to pour hundreds of thousands of dollars on this?” 

Harry couldn’t help but let out a frustrated sigh. “That wasn’t what you thought it was. Honest. You read the proposal, you saw the effort I made.” 

“If you’re trying to show me that you’re ready to make a commitment and put in work, maybe try getting a few A’s in school and a part-time job first. That’s all I have to say about  _ this _ ,” Bart finished, gesturing his hands around the club. He straightened his grey suit before strolling out the doors of the club, leaving a dejected Harry behind. 

He wanted to think he was surprised. Sure, there was hope that he carried with him throughout the whole process of setting this club up, but ultimately Harry  _ wasn’t _ surprised. Despite all the drive he had in him when he did this, there was a niggling doubt in the back of his mind that kept telling him what he always knew. His father was a self-righteous bastard who cared about nothing except his business. He wouldn’t give a damn about what Harry wanted to do or that he wanted to do something at all. All he cared about was money, the mindless women he went through, and himself. 

Picking up his cell phone, Harry opened up a group chat with Louis, Eleanor, Zayn and a few of their other friends. 

_ Club’s not happening, but I’m still having the party since I already bought it for tonight. Come and bring everyone you know! We’re going to get fucked tonight.  _

** ♥  ** ** Louis  ** ** ♥ **

Louis frowned at the text from Harry. He couldn’t say he knew Harry all that well, despite growing up together and being in the same friend group, but one thing Louis did pick up on was the sensitive side Harry had, the insecurity he tried so hard to mask through crass flirting and a tough, careless bravado. 

Harry had worked really hard on his proposal. For his father to immediately turn  down a smart investment opportunity was out of character for Bart. It would definitely rake in a ton of profit. So what went wrong? Louis couldn’t figure it out. 

Closing out of his messages, Louis tried to focus on class for the rest of the day. As soon as the bell rang, though, he shot out of his seat and grabbed an Uber to Wall Street. It only took a little bit of coaxing before Bart’s assistant let Louis through into his office where Bart was sitting at his desk, reading something on the computer. Upon Louis’ entrance, Bart looked a bit confused, frowning at the boy. 

“Louis,” he said, slowly, speech similar to his son. They looked alike as well. Harry had Bart’s eyes, jawline, and lips. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to speak to you, Mr. Styles,” Louis said, smiling as sweetly as he could. He took a seat across from Bart, placing his book bag on the chair beside him. “This is about Harry and his club.”

Bart widened his eyes slightly before chuckling. “I already told him how I felt about it. I’m not sure what he told you, but --”

“You’re making a mistake,” Louis interrupted, not in the mood for Bart’s explanation. It was clear that Bart didn’t really see it for what it was. “Harry worked really hard on that club and it has immense potential. I thought you were a businessman who would be able to see that without a couple of high schoolers telling you.”

Louis’ comment seemed to have a struck a nerve in Bart, who was still frowning at Louis. “I know business better than almost all the men out here in this city. I don’t need pointers from children, especially not ones who focus more on play rather than work. I read Harry’s proposal. I even went down to the club, but I caught him tipsy on a bar stool with women surrounding him. He’s not mature yet to understand what he’s doing or where to focus his energy. All he is is spoiled, immature, and reckless. I offered him great advice. Get some A’s and get a part-time job. Hopefully that will straighten him out.”

Louis clenched his jaw, willing himself to respond as calmly as he could, but it seemed his mouth had a mind of its own. “No offense, Mr. Styles, but if anyone is to blame for the way Harry is, it’s you.”

Bart’s jaw dropped, anger flashing in his eyes. 

“It’s true,” Louis continued. “Harry has never had your guidance, not really. You’re his only guardian and you were barely around when we were growing up. I remember playing at Eleanor’s house as kids. Everyone’s parents would come pick them up and Harry would be picked up by the nanny of the week. He was never able to form attachments because no one, other than his friends, got close to him long enough for him to do so. It’s your neglect and lack of love that has Harry doing what he pleases, so if you want to blame anyone, blame yourself. Not Harry. So he had a drink and was talking to some girls? What’s new about that? He’s a sixteen year old boy who lives alone and runs by his own rules. Give him a break. The fact that he’s trying, despite your lack of support or guidance, should be enough for you to put your money into this.” 

Bart gaped speechlessly at Louis. When a few seconds ticked by with no word from the opposite party, Louis knew his job was done. He grabbed his bag off the chair. “Thanks for chatting with me,” Louis said, as pleasant as ever. “I hope you’ll do the right thing now.” With that, Louis walked out the door. 

Louis did some homework in the back of his Uber on the way home, hoping to get it done before Harry’s party that night. He had a test this week in Latin that he needed to ace. When he got out of the car in front of his building, he was surprised to find Eleanor waiting outside. She was on her phone, looking distracted, but Louis still approached her. 

“Hey,” he said lightly with a small smile. 

“Louis,” Eleanor greeted glancing up from her cell phone. “I was waiting for you. Where’ve you been? You left school so fast, otherwise I would have talked to you there.”

“I had something to do,” Louis responded vaguely, scratching the back of his ear. “Did you need something?”

His tone was guarded and tight. Mostly because this was awkward. Things were weird and tense between himself and Eleanor lately. She’d been trying to have a proper conversation with him for weeks and Louis had done his best to avoid it. Now looking at how desperate she was to talk, he realized he might have to just get this over with. 

“I wanted to talk,” Eleanor said. “It’s been awhile since we really spoke.”

“Sure, but I can’t take too long. I’ve got a big test coming up that I have to study for.”

It looked like Louis burned the light out from Eleanor’s eyes. She went blank for a moment before her lower lip quivered as it always did when she was about to cry. “Honestly, Louis. I feel like fucking screaming right now. I have been trying  _ so _ hard. So  _ fucking _ hard to make things work and you aren’t even trying. I’m going through so much right now with my family and you don’t even care.”

“I do care, Eleanor,” Louis insisted. “I want to be there for you, but it’s just tough right now.”

“I know, everything is so tough and you don’t have time for your dumb, old girlfriend. Isn’t that right?”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true.” Tears spilled past her eyes and down her cheeks. She angled her head up, trying to wipe the tears away. 

Louis sighed, running a hand over his face. He felt awful. Eleanor deserved more than this. “It’s not your fault. It’s me.”

“Fine, but just tell me this. Do you love me?” she asked him, her brown eyes earnest and wet. 

The seconds ticked by and Louis didn’t say anything. He realized he wasn’t in love with Eleanor. He had love for her, genuine love from being together for years and growing up in each other’s pockets. But he wasn’t  _ in _ love with her. At least not romantically. 

Letting more tears fall, Eleanor nodded. “Okay, so. Here’s the thing. I’ve got a lot going on with my dad that I have to deal with and I’m just going to check out because my family needs me. So I’m going to go ahead and make the call that this, whatever we are, is done for now. Okay?”

Louis slowly nodded, unsure what to say. Eleanor started sobbing before flagging down a yellow cab  and getting in. Louis almost called for her to come back. He felt a tug in his chest from hurting her because he didn’t want to, but he knew that would be selfish and wrong. He needed to give her and himself some space to figure things out first. 

** ♥  ** ** Harry  ** ** ♥ **

An upbeat ‘20s song streamed through the loudspeakers, filling Victrola with life. Girls and boys in costumes were dancing on stage while a big crowd of people partied around Harry. It was exactly what he’d imagined the club would be, and yet, Harry slumped against a couch, feeling defeated. Tonight was the only night he’d get to see his hard work pay off. He knew Victrola would be successful and seeing it thrive the way it was tonight was bittersweet, knowing that it would only be for one night. 

His friends hadn’t arrived yet. Eleanor texted him that she had something come up and couldn’t come. Zayn was supposedly on his way and no word from Louis yet. There were others there, but Harry didn’t really care to speak to them now. Not when he felt like such crap. Deciding a drink would improve his mood, Harry started to stand up only to see his father walk through the doors with Marla in tow. They came straight for him, sitting beside him. 

“Father,” Harry exclaimed, eyes practically bulging out of their sockets. “I wasn’t expecting you here.” 

“Had a change of mind,” Bart responded, studying the club. “Figured I’d check the place out at night to see if it looked any different, and I must say, the light of day doesn’t do this place justice.”

“It’s really great, Harry,” Marla beamed at him. “A burlesque club. How creative!”

“Thank you,” Harry managed.He was still shocked from their sudden visit, much less his father’s approval. What had changed since earlier that afternoon? Why did his father suddenly have an interest in the club?

Bart, noticing Harry’s confusion, spoke up again. “I read your proposal again. Very carefully this time, and I think that my old-school thinking and fatherly bias clouded my judgment a bit. But after much consideration, I think this could be an amazing investment opportunity.”

A massive grin spread across Harry’s face and he nodded. “Yes, please!” 

Bart smiled, too, offering Harry his hand to shake on it. When Harry did, Bart pulled Harry into a hug. “Proud of you, son. You did good.” 

These words were something Harry had always secretly ached to hear. They had never really had a strong relationship, but Harry still wanted to do good by his father. He was the only blood Harry had, and finally getting his seal of approval felt better than he could have imagined. 

** ♥  ** ** Louis  ** ** ♥ **

True to Harry’s word, he’d sent limos over to everyone’s place to pick them up for the club party that night. Louis changed into a white button down and paired it with Rag & Bone jeans. He was feeling antsy the entire way. Something had been tugging at his chest since Eleanor broke things off earlier and all Louis wanted to do was get rid of it. He was better off when things were still unresolved between them, because at least then guilt wasn’t gnawing at him. 

When the limo stopped in front of the club, Louis saw Harry standing outside and talking to a few people. Harry was still in his clothes from earlier, but he looked a lot happier than Louis expected. Harry spotted him when he got out of the car, excusing himself from the conversation, and walked over to him. 

“He’s going to do it,” Harry told him. “He’s going to invest in the club.”

The smile on his face was blinding and staggering, dimples and all. “Congratulations, Harry,” Louis said genuinely. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks!” Harry exclaimed before letting out a breath. “ _ God _ . I don’t know what changed. He came and he told me a flat out no and then he came back a few hours later, ready to take a leap.” 

Louis decided then that he wouldn’t tell Harry about his little conversation with Bart. Bart didn’t offer it to Harry, so it would just be a secret between them two. Louis couldn’t say what possessed him to get involved, but he was starting to think it was to see Harry happy. He smiled and laughed and joked with all their friends, sure, but it was never like this. Maybe it was also because this was the first time Louis ever saw Harry passionate about something that wasn’t booze or hooking up and wanted to support it. Louis liked this Harry. It made him see that there was an actual person under his whole act. He had a heart, feelings, and needed reassurance just like rest of them.

“Anyway. Party’s in full swing. Eleanor isn’t here, though,” Harry informed Louis.

“I figured. We sort of broke up,” Louis told him. 

Harry’s eyebrows shot up. “ _ Really _ ? For good?”

“Yeah, and I just -- I don’t even want to talk about it. I just want to party and get drunk and escape. That’s what the club is for, right?”

Louis didn’t wait for a response. Instead, he strolled into the club while Harry followed behind. The music was sexy, making Louis want to move his body along with it. He walked up to the stage, found a two-seater couch in front of it, and took a seat. Harry appeared moments later with a drink in hand and offered it to Louis. Louis downed it in one and set the glass down on the wooden coffee table in front of him. He could tell Harry was staring at him, but he didn’t indulge him and instead focused on the dancers in their lacy outfits and their choreographed moves. 

“I know you said you don’t want to talk about it, but we could,” Harry said after a while. “Eleanor always tells me about your relationship issues, anyway. So I’m up to date.”

Louis rolled his eyes at the last bit. “I really  _ don’t _ want to talk about it, though. What happened needed to happen a long time ago. And I’m glad it finally did. It was time.” Harry was silent, so Louis continued talking, eyes trained on the dancers. “Did you pick them yourself?”

“I did,” Harry answered proudly. “Aren’t they great?”

“They’re good looking, yeah. But I don’t know about their dance moves.”

“Oh, really?”

“I could do better than this.”

Harry stifled out a laugh. “Alright, then go up there and show me.” 

“No chance in hell.” 

“C’mon, Lou. You’re ten times hotter than any of those dancers up there. Show me what you got.”

“I didn’t offer to show you,” Louis snapped, though a smirk was present on his face. “I’m just saying that I have better moves than they do.” 

“Ah,” Harry sighed. “Figured.”

Louis frowned at him. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“I knew you wouldn’t do it, but I thought I’d try anyway.”

“What do you know about what I would or wouldn’t do, Styles?” 

“You’re predictable, Tomlinson. All talk and no walk.”

Louis gaped at the other boy, while Harry just continued to smirk and watch the dancers. It was bothering him because Harry was egging him on, he knew that, but he was falling for it. He wasn’t all talk and no walk. He could absolutely dance better than all those guys and girls on stage -- they looked stiff. They weren’t really letting loose. Huffing, Louis stood up and marched up the side steps onto the stage. He made his way center stage and saw Harry watching him with genuine wonder and shock in his eyes. 

Swaying his hips to the beat, Louis listened to the crowd cheering for him, and it amped him up. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, dragging the sleeves off his tanned shoulders. All the while, he kept his eyes on Harry, who stood up as soon as Louis took his shirt off. Louis turned around, back facing the crowd, and threw a hand up in the air, letting his hips continue to sway to the beat. Just as the bass dropped, he turned his head, peering over his shoulder, and smiled devilishly at Harry. Harry looked breathless.

Turning back around, he fiddled with the button of his pants, teasing the crowd like he was going to unbutton them. He moved another hand up, trailing his fingers across his toned chest, and the crowd let out another loud cheer. Harry smiled at him then, eyes marveling over every move Louis made. Louis laughed brightly when he saw Harry raise his glass to Louis, making a motion like he was drinking to him. He realized then with relief that the tug in his chest was gone. He had escaped.

As the song transitioned into something new, Louis picked up his shirt and made his way down the steps. Several men and women swarmed toward him, but he shrugged them off and walked to Harry. “Told ya,” he quipped, before moving past him as well and over to the bar. 

The night continued in similar fashion. Louis had a drink with everyone, including Calvin and Oli, who’d made it down there. Toward the end of the night, everyone started heading home. Just as  Louis was about to call his Uber, Harry offered to give him a lift home. Louis agreed, climbing into the backseat of the stretch limo with Harry, city lights twinkling outside their windows as they drove through Midtown. The limo had the partition up, but there was a soft song playing from the front speakers that drifted through. They were both in the seat furthest back, their heads lolling against the headrest.

It was quiet for the most part and then Harry spoke up. “You were amazing up there,” he breathed out slowly. 

Louis looked at him and their eyes locked. Suddenly, something shifted and Louis’ stomach clenched and fluttered in a way it never did before. His heart beat faster and the more he looked into Harry’s green irises the more Louis felt dizzy with a lust he’d never experienced before. His breathing started to come short, especially with the way Harry was looking at him, like he’d never seen someone more perfect. 

Liking boys wasn’t something Louis actively thought about. It never seemed likely because he did like Eleanor, even as he was realizing  he felt no sexual attraction to her whatsoever. But then again, his step-father spent years with a woman before he realized he preferred men as well. Louis just didn’t think he was the same way. Harry wasn’t just any boy, though. Harry was someone Louis openly disliked, and for many reasons. But sitting in the car with him, he didn’t seem so bad. He looked beautiful and open in a way Eleanor never did. He was everything Louis wasn't supposed to want, but he did anyway.

Shifting closer, Louis let his eyes drop down to Harry’s lips. They were pink with a glaze of shine that only came from the billion times Harry licked his lips. Louis wanted to kiss him. He wanted to taste him; it felt like that would be the only thing to calm his heart and stomach. 

Harry watched his slow movements and he, too, leaned forward. Louis nudged his nose closer, angling his head toward Harry and in a swift movement brushed their lips together. 

“Are you sure?” Harry asked, pulling away. 

Not responding, Louis just leaned forward, capturing Harry’s lips with another kiss. This time it was deeper, their lips slotting together just right. The beating in his heart didn’t slow down, nor did his stomach stop fluttering, but Louis had never felt so good being kissed by another person ever before. 

He placed his hand over Harry’s thigh, squeezing it as he pushed further into the kiss. Harry’s hands wrapped around Louis, bringing their chests together as their kiss turned more fervent and impatient. Sliding his hand up Harry’s chest, Louis ran his fingers through his curly hair, pulling slightly through the tangles. Harry let out a guttural moan as Louis mouthed along his jaw. 

In a quick movement, Harry pulled Louis on top of him, letting Louis straddle his waist. Louis pulled away from kissing him and stared at him with wide, blown out pupils. “Do you have anything?” he asked Harry, voice small and raspy. He was needy and hungry, wanting more.

Harry nodded, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a silver foil packet. “I also have lube in my wallet,” he told Louis, hands trailing down his body. Louis nodded in acknowledgment, eyes closing as Harry’s soft, nimble fingers made quick work of unbuttoning Louis’ shirt and pants. He shifted up to allow Harry to slide them down to his knees along with his underwear. Louis looked past Harry at the traffic behind them., It was jam packed because of an accident up ahead; it would take a while before they reached either of their places.

“I've never done this before,” Louis told Harry, though he was pretty sure Harry knew.

Harry licked his lips in response. “I could bottom. I don't mind. I'm quite versatile.” A cheesy grin appeared on his face and Louis almost rolled his eyes. He pulled off of Harry's lap and sat on the seat beside him while Harry took his pants off. Once he was bare from bottom down, cock already hard between his legs, Harry ripped open the packet of lube, rubbing some of it onto his fingers and trailing it over his rim.

Louis watched, almost hypnotized, as Harry pushed a finger inside, slowly sliding it in and out before adding another. He could feel himself getting harder, so he placed a hand over his cock, stroking it. Harry caught his movements and quickened the pace of his own fingers, mouth dropping as small moans slipped past his lips. 

Wanting to be close to him again, Louis leaned forward and kissed Harry. Harry's lips were soft and tasted like peppermint. It was addictive and Louis couldn’t help but lick into his mouth, letting their wet tongues slide together. 

“‘M ready,” Harry whispered against Louis’ lips.

Louis stilled and pulled away, looking down to where Harry had his fingers still sliding in and out. He was up to three fingers now. “I don't know if it will fit,” Louis trailed off.

“It will,” Harry insisted. “Don’t worry. It’s going to feel so good, babe.” Harry kissed him softly. “God, you look amazing and fucked out. We haven't even done anything yet.”

Louis felt his face grow hot under his gaze and compliments. He grabbed Harry’s shirt collar and their lips collided together. Slowly, Harry lay Louis on his back and slid the condom on his cock. He rubbed lube over it to make the slide smoother and then looked at Louis in question, asking permission. 

Nodding, Louis pushed a few strands of Harry's hair away from his face. He felt Harry slowly lower down over his body before taking Louis’ cock in his hands and steadying himself over it, pushing Louis’ head just past his rim.. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck, and pulled him close while Harry continued to sink down until he bottomed out. The pleasure was overwhelming for Louis. He didn't know long he was going to last; he was already embarrassingly close.

Harry let out a whimper, eyes fluttering shut, and Louis stared at him with wide eyes. When he started to move his hips, he looked at Louis. “You okay?”

Louis cautiously nodded, biting his bottom lip roughly. Harry exhaled and started to grind down, their hips slapping together. “Kiss me,” Harry prompted, looking at Louis through hooded eyes. His lips were wet and pink and the taste of peppermint was now lingering on Louis’ own tongue. He couldn’t get enough, though, so he leaned forward and kissed Harry wetly. They both groaned on a particularly nice thrust and the car felt so hot all of a sudden. Harry’s hands were all over Louis, trailing across his chest, pinching his nipples and then moving down to grip his own cock. 

He started to pump it in his fist and swipe his thumb over the slit, bringing himself closer to the edge. Precome was dribbling out between their chests, making a mess, but the whole thing was so filthy and addictive. Louis started to pant into Harry’s mouth, aching to get that release. He thrusted up into Harry, but it wasn’t until Harry cupped the back of his neck and kissed him, clenching around his cock, that Louis moaned out loud. He thrusted a bit sloppily as he came into the condom with a shout. Harry's eyes were wide as they watched him and a moment later he came in his fist, hips slowly stilling. 

Louis was out of breath as Harry rolled over to the side and slumped against the seat. When he picked up his head to look at Harry, he found the other boy smiling at him softly, blissed out and happy. Even the city lit up behind him couldn't have been brighter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before u all come at me for not updating this, the next ch is halfway done so i hope that makes up for my lack of writing :p thanks to e, as always, for helping me!
> 
> [fic post](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/post/161333536170/fic-dont-you-think-that-its-boring-how-people) / [fic page](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/ggau) / [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/123144119/playlist/16fRGD5NIFALexkMrQIUG3)


	5. now playing: “400 lux” - lorde

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: underage drinking, smoking, underage sex (the beginnings of it...like implications), and issues with parents

**Gossip Girl Blast #2309**

_Happy Holidays, Upper East Siders! Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite._

_With Thanksgiving passed, it’s Christmas time in New York. The decorations are up on 5th Ave, the tree is lit at Rockefeller Center, and everyone’s been going on ice skating dates at Bryant Park.  What could be better? Maybe one thing -- Louis Tomlinson’s 17th birthday party. As you all know, King L was born on Christmas Eve. Truly a Christmas miracle, if you ask me, and celebrations are quite possibly bigger than any holiday out there._

_Spotted: Zayn Malik speaking to party planners in Soho. I heard he’s the one putting the whole shindig together after not being there last year. It’s rare our Louis gives up power like that, but we all know he trusts Zayn more than anyone. Now that the pair of BFFs are back on good terms, they’ve been back to their old routine of loving and supporting each other. I’m cooing from behind my computer screen._

_Let’s see what Zaynie’s got in store for us with this party. I can’t reveal if I’ll be in attendance, but we all know I have eyes and ears everywhere. So if you’re not one of the lucky ones with an invite, I’ll give the play by play details of the night._

_You know you love me._

_xoxo,_

_Gossip Girl_

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

Louis wasn’t having a big gay freak out.

He _wasn’t_.

He was having a big _Harry fucking Styles_ freak out.

Louis couldn’t believe he had sex with him -- in the back of a limo, no less. Where had his dignity gone? Louis wasn’t sure, but he was doing everything in his power to try and erase the memory. Starting with avoiding the curly haired cunt like he was a plague. Harry had called, texted, and even shown up at Louis’ apartment to talk, which was sort of surprising; Louis expected the other boy to ignore him as well. Each time, Harry was sent away or completely disregarded. They’d ended the night on a good note, yes, but after waking up the following morning in his own bed, Louis felt like he had cold ice water poured over his head. Things were suddenly clear and he had a hard look at the reality of the situation.

There was no way in hell he and Harry could be a thing. Harry slept with everyone and everything. He had no consideration for people or feelings or any of that. It was like he was a robot when it came to relationships. He only understood one thing -- mindless sex. Not only that, but things were still complicated with Eleanor because their families were inextricably involved. Louis’ mother was obsessed with Eleanor and Louis would hate to break her heart like this. As far as Louis knew, no one knew they were broken up yet. Louis was going to use that to his advantage and take the time to figure out his sexuality. Having sex with Harry felt great, something Louis wasn’t keen on admitting. He took care of him and in that moment, it felt really good. But sexualities were complex. Maybe Louis should try again with Eleanor and see how that fared.

Louis took it upon himself to wash away the unfortunate event by going to church. He went to the one his family usually went to for Christmas and Easter mass. It wasn’t too far from his apartment, so Louis went once a week and prayed to God to help him figure things out. He wasn’t narrow minded enough to think that God would turn his back on non-straight people. God loved all and surely God loved Louis enough to help him through this tough time of bad decisions.

He’d just finished his weekly prayer and headed out, putting on his Givenchy shades as he quickened his pace. He had a ton to do today. His birthday party was tonight and on the day before his birthday, Louis always had brunch with his mother at The Penrose. So Louis needed to hurry back home and finish up any homework he had before meeting Anastasia. She didn’t like to wait.

While walking, a familiar black Rolls Royce slowed beside him. Louis knew who it was before the window even rolled down. Obviously, Harry was the only obnoxious douche who rolled around the city in one of these. “Am I seeing correctly?” the green eyed boy asked, peering out from his window. “Is that _the_ elusive Louis Tomlinson?”

“What do you want, Harry?” Louis asked, not even sparing him a glance.

“I want to know why you’re avoiding me,” Harry bluntly responded, his car still moving slowly beside Louis, who was trying his best to speed up.

“You know why.”

“Well, can we discuss you avoiding me over breakfast?”

Louis finally looked at Harry, a little surprised he offered considering Harry didn’t really convene with his sex friends over food. Then again, Louis might be different. He wasn’t just a stranger Harry picked up. They’d known each other their whole lives. “Can’t,” Louis primly said. “As is tradition on the day before my birthday, my mother and I always have brunch. Then I usually go shopping with Eleanor.”

“Eleanor?” Harry sputtered out a laugh. “Oh, I don’t think she’ll be wishing you a happy birthday this year.”

“What would you know?” Louis snapped, glaring at the other boy. “No one knows we broke up, which gives me ample time to fix things between us. And frankly, I don’t think your best friend would still be your best friend if she knew --”

“If she knew what?” Harry asked, cocking his head to the side and smirking. “If she knew how much I enjoyed the removal of a certain chastity belt in the back of my limo?”

Louis stopped in his tracks and walked up to Harry’s car until he was close enough to whisper. “From this moment on, no one will ever mention what happened that night. Is that clear, Styles?”

“Not as clear as you moaning in my ear, which I have been playing back over and over and over,” Harry said, green eyes growing darker. Louis couldn’t stop staring at his lips as he spoke. They were nice lips, the same ones that Harry was blessed with his entire life, but now Louis had kissed those lips. They were nice kisses, too. Perfect, even. Thinking about it made Louis’ toes curl, hands itching to reach over and grab Harry’s face for another kiss.

“ _Stop_!” Louis squeaked, shaking his head to clear his sexual thoughts and look away from Harry’s mouth. “Forget everything, Harry. I mean it. As far as I’m concerned, it never happened.”

“Right,” Harry replied, looking a bit frustrated. His jaw was clenched, a habit of his whenever he got mad. “Guess I’ll see you at your party tonight.”

Louis started to walk again. “You’re officially uninvited.”

“Never stopped me before,” Harry countered back.

There was venom in his tone. He was pissed and a part of Louis knew that there was nothing worse than when Harry got pissed. He was ruthless and didn’t think of any consequences before speaking or doing things out of anger. But Louis Tomlinson was never scared of anyone before and he wasn’t going to start now. He was going to fix this -- everything that was supposed to be will be. There was no chance in hell he was going to let Harry Styles ruin that.

Brunch with his mother calmed Louis down a bit. He spoke to her about the party, things that were on his wish list this year, and her upcoming fashion line for Spring. She wanted Louis to see the new sketches, so they made a date for the following week to meet in her office in Chelsea. Things felt normal again until Zayn showed up to Louis’ apartment afterward with a newspaper in his hand. He dropped it on Louis’ sky blue duvet, custom made for him by Tommy Hilfiger himself. They even stitched LWT in the center with navy blue thread.

“Did you see this?” he asked.

Louis shook his head, taking the newspaper and gasping when he saw Eleanor’s entire family on the front page. It wasn’t a flattering picture or article. Her father had gotten arrested the night before for fraud and embezzlement and the shot they chose was a picture of Damien being handcuffed while Eleanor and her mother watched on in horror.

“Jesus Christ,” Louis mumbled, scanning the article.

Damien was released on bail two hours after his arrest, but there was most likely a trial in the horizon. Every issue they were facing financially was detailed, including the fact that the were near broke. Louis felt awful reading all of this. Eleanor was trying to tell him herself, but he didn’t realize it was this bad. What’s more, Gossip Girl had been hinting at this for a while, yet Louis still didn’t pick up on it. God, he was so self-centered sometimes. He should call her, maybe ask her to come that night so that they could talk. He wasn’t sure if this was guilt speaking or something else. Things were just so intertwined with them. His mother had recently cut a deal with the Calders and they were doing business together, so this looked bad for everyone involved.

“Have you spoken to her?” Zayn asked. He was sprawled out on Louis’ bed, his leather jacket on the floor.

“Um, not yet,” Louis answered. “But I’m going to call her later and tell her to focus on her family because I think that would be best.”

“Hmm,” Zayn hummed, taking out his phone. “Is she still coming to the party tonight, do you think?”

“Not sure. I mean, it wouldn’t be a big deal if she didn’t. Things are obviously tough right now.”

Zayn smiled at Louis. “You’re a good boyfriend,” he said.

The comment stung because Louis knew it wasn’t true. Not really. For the first time, he felt genuine guilt for what he did that night in the limo. He gulped, looking away from Zayn to go through his closet. He was setting out his outfit for the party for Dorota to iron. And when Zayn started prattling on about plans for the party, Louis tried not to focus on the tugging in his chest. The one he felt for Eleanor. Blend that in with the incessant memories of Louis’ night with Harry and it was a recipe for disaster.

**♥** **Eleanor** **♥**

Seeing Louis’ name on her Caller ID was such a shock that Eleanor stared at the phone for a good few seconds, wondering if it was _actually_ him. Eventually, she picked up, voice tentative. “Hello?”

“Eleanor, hey,” Louis said, sounding frazzled. “How are you? Are you okay?”

So, he saw the news.

Eleanor immediately felt shame and that was weird; she’d never felt shame when it came to Louis. He was one of her best friends. He knew everything about her, the good and the bad, but he didn’t feel so close anymore. She didn’t know how to vent to him now about her father being a con-artist. Or that they were near broke and things were a giant shit fest.

“I’m alright,” she said, opting for a shortcut answer. “Thanks for asking. Just been busy.”

“I understand,” Louis said. “I’m here if you want to talk.”

“Yeah, I know,” she paused for a bit. “Is there a reason you called? Or -- I mean, did you need anything?”

“Actually, yeah,” he breathed out. “I feel like, _maybe_ we were hasty with the break up, you know? I don’t think we got to properly talk about it.”

Eleanor’s eyes widened and she sat up straighter. She had been in her living room, watching old _Jersey Shore_ reruns to distract herself from everything, but this was something else. “I -- I mean, I don’t know. It was a pretty difficult decision and with the way things were going, it just seemed...reasonable.”

“I know what you mean. I clearly wasn’t being as attentive as I should have been. I really should apologize. But we should speak soon in person and talk things over.”

“Right. Sure,” Eleanor nodded, though, Louis couldn’t see her.

“And, if you want, you should come to my party tonight. But only if you’re up for it.”

“Sounds good. Maybe I will come,” she replied.

“Alright,” Louis said, sounding relieved. “I’ll hopefully see you later then. Bye!”

Eleanor bid goodbye as well before hanging up. That was strange. Louis did a complete 180 and she wasn’t sure what to make of it. He didn’t look like he even cared when they last spoke in front of his apartment. Since then, they’d steered clear of each other at school and now that it was Winter break, they were even more apart. Eleanor felt foolish, really. Louis was jerking her around. Was she just going to let him do that? If anything, she should make him work for it. But a part of her was scared that he wouldn’t and she’d look stupid again. She’d be the only one with a broken heart.

“Was that Louis I heard you talking to?”

Eleanor’s mother, Florence, walked through the living room door, taking a seat beside her. Her long brown hair was knotted into a tight bun on top of her head with strays hanging loose around her face. There were bags under her eyes that she didn’t even bother to cover with concealer.

Eleanor nodded her head in response. “That was him.”

“Isn’t his birthday party tonight?” she asked, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Are you going?”

“I don’t know, Mom. Maybe.”

“You should go. It shouldn’t be a maybe.”

“We broke up,” Eleanor told her. “A few weeks ago.”

Florence looked stricken, her palms curling into soft fists. She’d been on edge ever since the stuff with Eleanor’s father started hitting the fan. Even with the drugs, which Florence had been willing to shove under the rug. Things weren’t looking good and Eleanor felt bad for her mom having to keep it together during all this.

“Get back together,” she told Eleanor. “We need this business with the Tomlinsons, Eleanor. Your father has been going through so much. We all have.”

“And whose fault is that?” Eleanor asked angrily. “Dad’s the one who’s fucking up. So why come at _me_ for it?”

“ _Eleanor_! Keep your voice down. Even the walls have ears these days,” her mom reprimanded. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is or isn’t. Your father needs you right now. More than ever. In fact, we all do. It’s up to you now. Fix things with Louis and make sure there’s no more disruptions to you getting a ring on your finger from that family. None of this breaking up.”

Eleanor inhaled sharply, bottling in a scream. She felt like she was going to explode. Tears were forming in her eyes as her mom walked away, but she just held it in. This shouldn’t be her job. She shouldn’t have to be responsible for anything like this. Not being able to take it any longer, she got up, grabbing her purse before heading out the door and toward The Empire.

She and Harry hadn’t properly spoken in weeks. He always said he was busy with something, but she needed him now and he wasn’t going to get out of it. Upon arriving, Eleanor took the lift up to Harry’s floor and was surprised to find him sitting in his Hugo Boss underwear and dress shirt, bow tie half-knotted around his neck. He was laying on the couch with a glass of scotch balanced on his stomach while some movie played on the TV screen.

“Eleanor,” Harry said slowly, looking up at her from his spot. “What are you doing here?”

“Can’t I come see my best friend?” she asked. “I know you’ve been busy with whatever, but I need you right now. I just want to talk. I feel like I’m going to burst.”

“Of course,” Harry said, sitting up. “What’s up? What’s on your mind?”

“It’s my mom,” Eleanor groaned, collapsing on the opposite couch.

“Sounds Freudian.”

Eleanor ignored his comment. “She’s really pushing the Louis engagement thing. I feel like she wants me married, like, right now.”

“What?” Harry asked, frowning. “You guys broke up, though.”

“Yeah, I know --,” Eleanor stilled. “Wait, how do you know?”

He looked fidgety all of a sudden, nervously shifting his eyes around. “Um, Louis told me. He was asking me about you some time ago.”

“Was he? Well. what did he ask?”

“Nothing important. But you were saying...about your mom.”

“Right. She’s just making things difficult,” Eleanor continued. “She wants me to get back with Louis so that his mom doesn’t back out of their business deal. And my dad’s going on trial, so who knows how that’s going to end up. It’s just a lot of pressure.”

Harry moved over and sat next to her, placing a hand on her arm. “I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. Honestly. But I don’t think you should cave into their every wish. If you’re done with Louis and he’s being an asshole, then be done with him. You know?”

“Wow,” she breathed out, stifling a laugh. “This advice is so unlike you.”

Harry smiled. “How do you mean?”

“You’re usually telling me to bang Louis.”

Harry sighed, placing his head on her shoulder so that they could cuddle. “I care about only three things in this world. Money, the pleasures money brings to me, and you. I want you to be treated well and I don’t want your heart to be broken, okay? And besides, you’ve always detested your parents for how they’ve tried to control your life. They’ve been doing it your whole life. If it doesn’t end somewhere, will it ever?”

He made an excellent point. Eleanor felt a lot better, but her head was still spinning.

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

Zayn had done a pretty good job with Louis’ birthday party. It was exactly up to Louis’ standards. There was a DJ playing all of Louis’ favorite party songs and a bar where a special Louis drink was being served along with the regular menu. The Louis drink was a favorite of Louis’ -- a concoction of vodka and lemonade with a cherry on top. Beside that was a sushi bar with a chef making fresh sushi rolls and sashimi. Zayn had even set up projectors against bare white walls for people to play FIFA and other video games. And lastly, there was a pile of presents on a big table in the center, waiting for Louis to open and probably return for something better. All in all, it was exactly right.

Except for the fact that Louis felt on edge the whole time. He was paranoid being surrounded by so many people. He felt even more unsettled after his chat with Harry that morning followed by the awkward phone call with Eleanor. Drama used to be Louis’ favorite past time, but not when it involved him. So far neither Eleanor nor Harry were there, so Louis tried to enjoy himself until Zayn’s Brooklyn trash walked through the elevator doors.

“Liam! Max!” Zayn cried out in excitement, getting up from his seat across from Louis and walking over. Louis knew Liam, but he couldn’t recognize the other guy. Surely he was also poor and probably living in a trashy apartment somewhere in Bushwick. Anyone could tell just by how they were dressed -- in _thrift shop clothes_. Louis shuddered at the thought and got up from his seat, walking over to the bar to get himself a Louis drink. He had been chatting and eating sushi rolls with Zayn, but Louis had a feeling he wouldn’t be seeing him for a bit now that his other friends were here.

With Louis’ drink in hand, he wandered a bit, saying hi to some of the guests. While on his third round about the apartment, he stopped short when he saw Harry chatting up some guy in a corner. For a split second, Louis saw red _and_ green. It went away as soon as it came and he shook his head, trying to get rid of the ugly feeling forming in his stomach. He didn’t care if Harry was hooking up with some nobody. Harry did that everyday. Louis was just annoyed he had the audacity to show up after their fight that morning.

Needing a breather, Louis decided to go up to the terrace. It was done up for the party as well with a canopy over a set of chairs and tables. There were fairy lights strung around the railings, and as beautiful as it was, no one was up there, which was good for Louis. He stood off on the side and looked down at the streets. Hundreds and hundreds of cars drove by. The street lamps were lit up along Central Park and people were still out there, taking late night strolls. Below, he could hear someone shouting profanities. As crazy and loud as it was, Louis still felt himself relax.

“Here you are.”

Louis startled, turning around to find Harry strolling onto the roof and toward Louis. He stopped in front of him, tilting his head to the side. “I got you a present,” Harry said, smiling. His eyes looked glassy and his slightly sloppy demeanor made it apparent that he had some to drink.

“Go away, Harry,” Louis said. “I don’t want anyone here to see me with you.”

“Why not? We look good together.” Grinding his teeth, Louis reached over and grabbed a fistful of his stupid, curly hair. Harry scowled, “ _Ow_. If you wanted to play rough, you could have just asked.”

“What I want is for  you to leave. Eleanor’s coming over soon.”

“Oh, let it go, Louis,” Harry rolled his eyes. “You two need to stop your games already. It’s clear you don’t love each other given how much you break up and make up. This whole idea of you and Eleanor being end game needs to end. It’s over. Fucking face it.”

“You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you sound like a jealous boyfriend,” Louis concluded.

Harry got all haughty all of a sudden. He appeared defensive and insecure as he said, “Yeah, right. You wish.”

“Oh, honey, please,” Louis scoffed. “ _You_ wish.”

“Do you know who I am?” Harry asked him, leaning closer. “I’m Harry Styles.”

“And I’m Louis Tomlinson, so watch your tone, _bad boy_.”

Harry bit his lip, eyes roaming Louis’ face before trailing down his body. Louis was wearing something from the new Alexander McQueen collection that hadn’t even hit stores yet. Grey trousers that fit Louis snugly and a white t-shirt with the London map drawn out over a skull. Louis knew he looked good, but that wasn’t simply lust on Harry’s face. Something seemed off and then it hit Louis.

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Wait,” he said slowly. “Harry Styles, do you _like_ me?”

The worst part was, Harry struggled to answer. He was hesitant and the question seemed to completely catch him off guard. He stumbled through his answer. “Define _like_.”

“ _Wow_ ,” Louis breathed out. “Are you fucking kidding me? You have to be joking right?”

“Oh, shut up. How do you think _I_ feel?” Harry snapped, cheeks turning a shade of soft pink. “I haven’t slept. I feel sick, like there’s something in my stomach. Fluttering.”

Louis raised an eyebrow. “Butterflies?”

“I don’t know! I’ve never felt this way before.”

“This is awful,” Louis exclaimed, pacing in front of Harry. “How can this be happening right now?”

“Oh, please. No one is more ashamed or as surprised as I am,” Harry admitted.

Louis stopped in front of him, clapping his hands together. “Alright, so this is what you’re going to do, okay? You’re going to take these butterflies and murder them. They need to be killed off. Is that understood?”

Harry looked at Louis, a frown forming between his brows, clear that he didn’t like what Louis was saying. But he schooled his expression and appeared almost unreadable as he said, “Fine. Wasn’t like I was enjoying the feeling anyway. Besides, what are you doing up here anyway?”

“What’s it to you?” Louis sniped. Then he formed his lips into a devilish smile. “Maybe I’m up here waiting for Eleanor. We do have some making up to do.”

Something dark crossed Harry’s eyes and his jaw hardened before he loosened it up. He looked way too smug for Louis’ liking as he said, “Right. You two are really something else.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Harry bit back. “You’re both using each other for your own secret vendetta.”

“We’re not using each other,” Louis frowned, refuting Harry’s accusation. Though, Louis could feel his cheeks warm up. Were they this transparent to everyone else?

“Cut the crap, Louis,” Harry said, his voice dropping low as he leaned closer. The terrace was still empty, but Louis couldn’t help but dart his eyes around to see if anyone could see them. Harry’s breath tickled Louis’ neck as he continued to speak. “It was quite obvious how attracted you were to me the other night in my car. I get it...you’re not out. So you’re using Eleanor to cover up and convince not just everyone else, but also yourself, that you’re straight when really you’re not. And Eleanor? That poor girl is being used as a puppet to keep up a business deal for her family with your mother. She doesn’t want you any more than you want her. All you’re both doing is faking it.”

Louis glared at Harry, feeling anger rise up in him like bile. He didn’t want to admit why. Admitting why he was so angry would prove to Harry that he was right -- that he’d gotten Louis down to a T. Instead, he composed himself.

“You’re so full of shit, Styles. All that macho bravado and confidence is what’s really fake. I see right through you and your daddy issues. Oh wait, you’ve got some mommy ones in there as well, don’t you?”

Harry’s face hardened again, but he didn’t respond so Louis continued.

“Eleanor and I will do whatever we want and you’re still going to be irrelevant in this equation. Get that through your skull. She’s expected to arrive soon and things will be exactly how they were before.”

“That’s _if_ she comes,” Harry pointed out.

“And why wouldn’t she come?” Louis questioned.

Harry shrugged. “She might just see through your lies. She might be sick of being used.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Harry smiled, tilting his head to the side. “Want to bet on it? If Eleanor shows up, I’ll leave you two alone. But if she doesn’t, then you spend the night with me.”

“What the fuck do you think I am?” Louis snarled, glaring at him. “I’m not a fucking wager piece.”

“Why are you mad? Think you’ll lose?” Harry asked, riling him up as he always does.

“No, I’ll fucking win and I want you to stay away from me,” Louis said. “Eleanor has never missed a birthday of mine.”

“We’ll see,” Harry smiled, leaning back against the railing. Taking a deep breath in, Louis walked away from him and went back downstairs. He had a party to go back to.

**♥** **Eleanor** **♥**

Eleanor had been standing outside of Louis’ building for over forty minutes. She watched as the guests for the party walked in with their birthday gifts, and each time she told herself that she’d go up with them. But she didn’t. She stood outside as she drowned deeper and deeper in her doubts.

The things Harry had said to her earlier wouldn’t leave her mind. Why did she have to mend her relationship with Louis on her parents terms? Why couldn’t she do them on her own? Why couldn’t she do _anything_ on her own terms? Her parents were always controlling, but it didn’t start being suffocated until a bit recently. Lately, it felt unbearable. Like she couldn’t even think without them hovering over her about something.

And the more she thought about it, the more apparent it was that she shouldn’t have to clean up the mess her father left. That wasn’t her job. It never was. So why was she there? In Eleanor’s opinion, she and Louis could use a bit more time off. They hadn’t broken up too long ago and Eleanor had too much on her mind to work on their relationship.

Then again, if she did go upstairs and worked things out with Louis, then that would be one more thing off her plate. They could go back to how it was before things started to get bad. She didn’t have to drag out the break up when she knew deep down that it was always going to be her and Louis.

Still feeling muddled, she decided to head inside and figure it out once she was there. As she turned around, she collided with someone and stumbled back. It was a guy around her age, wearing ripped black jeans and a deep green and black flannel on top. He had a cigarette lit between his lips, eyes broody while his brown hair swept over them. He didn’t look like he was from around here. Especially not Louis’ building.

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

“It’s alright,” the boy responded. “I needed to get out of this stupid party and sort of ran for it as soon as I got the chance. Didn’t really look where I was going.”

“A birthday party?” Eleanor asked.

The boy nodded, exhaling smoke. “Fucking ridiculous people, I swear.”

Eleanor had no idea who he was, but him being at Louis’ party, looking as grungy as he did, probably made Louis go crazy. “I’m supposed to be at the same party.”

The guy’s eyebrows rose up. “Oh, are you? Friend of yours?”

Eleanor hesitated before settling on, “Ex-boyfriend.”

“Yikes,” he grinned chummily. “Why d’you wanna go there?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. That’s why I was down here, trying to figure out if it would be a good idea or not.”

“Well, if you care about what I have to say, I wouldn’t go. Everyone’s acting like morons up there and the birthday boy is literally nowhere to be seen. Zayn was looking for him the entire time I was there.”

Interesting. Why wasn’t Louis at his own party? And how did this guy know Zayn? Eleanor decided to inquire further.

“You’re a friend of Zayn’s?” she asked.

The guy shook his head. “Liam’s. He’s friends with Zayn and insisted I come tonight.” He inhaled again before asking, “You know Zayn?”

Eleanor smiled meekly. “We go way back. I’m Eleanor, by the way.”

“Max,” he introduced himself. “I think you’re the first person I’ve spoke to that hasn’t made my head go nuts.”

“They’re not all bad,” she defended. “I go to school with probably all of them.”

“It’s different where I’m from.”

“Brooklyn, right? Not too far. It shouldn’t be that different.”

“You’d be surprised.”

Eleanor hummed in acknowledgement. Smelling the smoke drifting over from him, she suddenly itched for a cigarette. Her nerves were on end with how stressed out she was. It could help her relax. She moved a little closer to him.

“Can I have a smoke from you?” she asked. “I could really use one.”

Max looked surprised for a moment before nodding. He took out his pack and handed her a cigarette, helping her light it up. One inhale and Eleanor instantly felt its effects. “Wow, thanks,” she said. “I really needed that.”

“Stressful day?” he asked.

“Try week. Lots going on with everything and this party was about to be the cherry on top of the cake.”

“Why don’t you and I take a walk and you could tell me all about it?” Max asked. His eyes gleamed with mischief. Eleanor had only been with two guys and they were both pretty similar. Something about Max felt different -- adventurous.

WIth a small, shy smile, she said, “A walk sounds good.”

Max grinned at that, toothy and adorable, as they walked toward Central Park. “Hope the birthday boy doesn’t mind.”

They made it inside the park, not really speaking until they were surrounded by just quiet. The trees of Central Park shielded them from the city outside of it. That’s when Eleanor pretty much erupted. It was liberating speaking to someone who was so removed from the scenario. She couldn’t talk to Louis, and sometimes it felt like she couldn’t talk to Harry either. She loved both of them, but they had their moments when it felt like they were still in their own little worlds.

Max turned out to be a great listener. He didn’t speak once, instead lit up another cigarette and led Eleanor toward a bench by a bridge. She unloaded all of her thoughts and issues regarding her parents, Louis, and then some. Once done, Max blinked at her, smiling softly.

“And I thought I had issues,” he remarked.

Eleanor let out a surprised laugh. “Doesn’t everyone?”

“Fair enough. It’s just funny to me that you’re complaining about your parents suffocating you with their expectations, meanwhile I wish my father paid at least a fraction of attention to me. He doesn’t, though. Completely shut down since my mom left us for some rich dick. And he’s insufferable to be around. Sometimes I stay at Liam’s because I can’t take it at home.”

Eleanor watched him, feeling a surge of emotion and affection for this boy she’d only known for less than an hour. “I know the feeling.”

Max nudged her with his free hand. “So what are you going to do? About Louis.”

“I wish I knew,” she sighed. “We broke up and I just don’t think we should jump right back in. We shouldn’t be together right now.”

“Well, I think you do know what to do.”

“It’s not so easy like that. I want to do the right thing and help my parents at the same time. But then it’s just not fair to me, or even to Louis. Earlier today, Harry told me I need to stop letting people make decisions for me, or even stop letting them tell me how to feel. But how do I stop it?”

“You just do,” Max said. “It really is as easy as that. Because if you don’t, then it won’t ever stop.”

Eleanor nodded, letting his words sink in. “I think you’re right. Thanks for talking with me. I really appreciate it.”

“Oh, no. Thanks for keeping me company,” he said. “You’re much better than your friends at that party. A lot more interesting to be around.”

Not sure if that was a compliment or not, Eleanor still smiled politely. They got up from the bench and walked back out toward the streets. Eleanor contemplated whether she should go home or not. It was near midnight and she wasn’t sure how long the party would go on. But then Max spoke up.

“Would you want to go get a bite to eat? They were only serving sushi at the party and I hate sushi.”

Eleanor laughed freely, wondering how anyone could hate sushi, but she realized she was also quite hungry. “Yeah, we could do that. I’m not sure what’s open except for Ritz Diner and I’m craving their bread pudding.”

“Ritz Diner it is,” Max said. “I’ve never been so you must show me the way.”

With hungry stomachs and conversation that continued to flow, Eleanor barely thought about the party or Louis’ birthday for the rest of the night.

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

At midnight, Louis took a shot before blowing out his candles. All the while, all he could look at was Harry’s smug smile as he lingered by the corner love seat where a few girls and boys fawned over him. Not that Harry was paying any attention to them. For some reason, he was fixated on Louis. It was strange. Louis had never seen him like this. Harry had a bit of an obsessive personality, but he never expressed it over a person.

Surely, he was waiting for Louis to go to him seeing as how he’d won their little bet. Eleanor never showed and the party was winding down. Guests were leaving, having called their Ubers, and Louis was tired. He was exhausted from the day and the thoughts in his head.

Trying to look busy, Louis continued to mingle with the guests until Harry caught up with him by the bar. He leaned in close to Louis and said, “You’ve lost.”

Louis shot him a dirty look. “If you’re here to collect your prize, then you can fuck right off.”

“I’m not. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do, but don’t you think as you’re getting older you should think about being more honest?”

“Are you trying to give me life lessons, Styles?” Louis scoffed. “Get real!”

Harry rolled his eyes at Louis. “You’re so fucking dramatic all the time.”

Just then, before Louis could respond to that insult, all their cell phones alerted them of a new text message. A tell-tale sign of a Gossip Girl blast. Louis slowly opened the message, but his eyes widened when he saw the subject line had his initial on it.

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY, L!**

Below the wish was a picture of Eleanor leaning in close and smiling at a guy -- one that was here not too long ago with Zayn’s charity case of a friend. This meant she was going to come tonight, but for some reason had dipped last minute with this loser from Brooklyn. And anyone with eyes could tell they looked intimate and it wasn’t platonic. Even if it was platonic, the rumor mill was crazy and always spinning. This was exactly what Gossip Girl did. She posted things giving minimal information, and let people figure out whatever they wanted it to mean.

The party was hushed for a moment, but everyone’s whispers seemed loud and clear in Louis’ ears.

“Oh my God, she’s _cheating_ on him.”

“Come to think of it, I didn’t see her tonight at all. Trouble in paradise?”

“ _My otp_! I can’t believe this.”

Within seconds, Zayn was by Louis’ side. “Lou, I’m so sorry. Are you alright? It’s probably not what it looks like. Gossip Girl has been wrong before, that bitch.”

“She’s not wrong. Not really,” Louis replied, dejectedly. He whirled around, facing the crowd. “Eleanor isn’t cheating on me because we broke up! Before you’re all off starting whatever fucking rumor you were planning to, don’t. I’m clearing it up. We broke up!”

“Louis…,” Zayn whispered behind him.

Louis turned back around to face them -- Zayn, Harry, Calvin and Oli, the last two having drifted over to see what the commotion was about. “She was supposed to come tonight. I know I told you all that, but only because she needs my mom to keep the business deal with her dad.” Blinking back tears, Louis looked directly at Harry. “There. Are you happy now?”

With that, he stormed off toward his bedroom, tears streaming down his face. He was _humiliated_ and suddenly felt so lost. At his own party, he had a stupid blast sent about him and he could barely keep face. Mix that in with Harry messing with his feelings and his head, Louis felt like he was going to explode. Zayn followed him into the hallway upstairs and away from the party, and Louis collapsed in his arms.

“I can’t do this anymore, Z,” he sobbed. “I can’t keep lying.”

“It’s okay, Lou,” Zayn comforted him, stroking his back. “You’re fine. You don’t have to lie anymore.”

“I just thought that if I stayed with Eleanor, if I made it work, then things would be okay but I can’t keep hiding it anymore.”

“You don’t have to,” Zayn shook his head, leaning back so he could look at Louis. “You can be honest with me. You don’t have to lie and pretend and act like you’re happy. I know how you’re feeling, okay? And you’re going to be just fine.”

“I just -- I just want to be alone for a bit, okay?” Louis asked.

Zayn reluctantly nodded, not wanting to leave Louis alone, but ultimately let him go into his bedroom and shut the door behind him. Louis sat down on his bed, collapsing against his pillows. He wiped his eyes of his tears and tried to remember to breathe.

How long was he going to keep telling himself that he wanted to be with Eleanor? How long did he have to keep up a pretense? He couldn’t just use her to hide what he really wanted, or rather, who. And it wasn’t just Harry. Louis had always looked at boys, admired their beauty in a way he never did with girls. He just never allowed himself to think about it. He kept suppressing and suppressing until the very thought of it was hardly there.  

He was scared, really. Louis was scared of what everyone would think and whether or not he’d be accepted. He knew that times had changed and that the queer community weren’t as ostracized like they used to be, but even then. His entire life had always been public and suddenly, he felt like it was all a sham. Surely everyone else would think of it like that and they won’t like him anymore. They were all going to think he was a liar.

Shuddering, Louis contemplated just going to sleep. Zayn was out there handling everything and Louis just needed to sleep it off. But then someone knocked on his door before entering. Harry’s curly hair peeked in and he actually looked apologetic. Louis wasn’t having it, though. At least not now.

“Go away, Harry. Haven’t you seen me crumble enough?” Louis asked.

“It’s not like that, Louis,” Harry said. He let himself in and closed the door behind him.

“What is it like then? This was the worst birthday ever and you aren’t making it any better.”

“Maybe I could,” he said, presenting Louis with a small gift wrapped box. “I told you I got you a present.”

Louis eyed it warily. “What is it? Are you planning to propose to me now? You like me that much?”

“No,” Harry groaned exasperatedly. “I was looking through your gift registry and saw this ring you’d chosen.” He sat beside Louis and slowly opened the box, showing the gold band with diamonds lining it. He wasn’t expecting anyone to actually get it for him, but it was so pretty, he couldn’t resist just adding it on the list anyway. Traditionally, it was a engagement ring. “It’s gorgeous and I thought, someone as gorgeous as you needs to wear it, otherwise it’s of no use.”

It was touching and Louis felt another wave of emotion from the night. He shook his head. “I can’t take this from you.”

“Of course you can,” Harry refuted. He took the ring out and slid it on Louis’ middle finger. “It looks lovely, Lou. And I’m really sorry how everything turned out.”

His green eyes blinked up at Louis and they were filled with empathy and adoration. It choked Louis up with how much he suddenly felt for him. Harry leaned closer, kissing Louis’ shoulder. Louis slid his hand over, the one with the ring on, and took Harry’s hand in his. Their fingers entwined and the grip was firm, comforting.

The night could be salvaged after all.

**♥** **Zayn** **♥**

“Do you think Louis is alright?” Liam asked, brows furrowed as he bit his lip nervously.

Zayn shrugged in response, waving to the last of the guests. After Gossip Girl’s blast and Louis’ outburst, he went into autopilot mode as he ushered everyone out and told them the party was over. Now the cleaning crew were taking care of the apartment while Zayn overlooked and made sure everything went smoothly. If Anastasia came home tomorrow with the girls and found one thing out of place, she would have Zayn’s head, personally.

“I think something’s up with him, but he hasn’t really told me yet,” Zayn replied to Liam. “Have you heard from Max? Did he say anything about being with Eleanor ”

Liam sullenly shook his head. “Didn’t even see when he left. I wish he’d told me, at least. I knew he didn’t want to come, but he didn’t have to be an ass about it.”

“It’s okay, you know?” Zayn said. “He doesn’t have to like me. I’m pretty used to having people form their own perception of me before meeting me and it’s not always positive. That’s something I’ve learned to live with.”

Liam smiled at him softly and they sat quietly as the last of the mess was taken care of. The cleaning crew left and Liam stood up from his seat. “I think I’ll head out then. Will you be staying here tonight?”

He was planning to, but seeing as how Louis asked to be left alone, maybe that would be best. “Not sure. Let me go ask Louis. Wait for me by the elevators.”

Zayn walked over to Louis’ bedroom and went inside, peering in to see if Louis was asleep or not. Instead, what he found was Harry, nearly naked on top of Louis as they kissed passionately. It was rough and eager and Zayn felt the tip of his ears burn from how red they were becoming. Suddenly, Louis moaned as Harry kissed down his neck, looking like he was ravishing the skin there.

Having seen too much, Zayn quickly backed out and rushed toward the elevators where Liam was still waiting for him. “What’s the verdict?” he asked, looking at Zayn.

“I’m going home!” Zayn exclaimed, letting out a nervous chuckle and fanning his flushed, embarrassed face.

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

On Christmas Day, Louis was feeling much better than he did on the night of his party. He’d woken up that following morning, his birthday, to Harry tangled up with him and something had felt right. But he hadn’t really voiced it nor did he look into it. Instead, Louis kicked Harry out before getting ready for the festivities.

Christmas Eve was when Louis’ family _really_ celebrated seeing as how it was also his birthday. His family members came from out of the city, and his stepfather even dropped by. It made his sisters happy as he would spend the night so that they could all open Christmas presents and go to mass together on the actual day. This year, Louis got almost everything off of his wishlist, so he was quite happy. A new watch, some custom designed outfits for the upcoming year, and a new iPhone because his old one was losing battery power three times a day.

After presents, Louis went up to his room for a nap until Zayn came over. “Merry Christmas, Lou,” Zayn said, collapsing on Louis’ bed with him. “Have a good day?”

Louis nodded blearily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Nice as usual. How was yours?”

“Great. Felt good to be spending it with my family this time. I missed everyone during the holidays last year...including you and this city. I’m happy to be back.”

Louis couldn’t help but smile at Zayn’s words. “I’m happy you’re back, too. What are your plans for the rest of the day?”

“I was thinking we could stay in and do a movie marathon while we open each other's gifts?” Zayn suggested.

“Oh, you know me so well,” Louis cooed, reaching over to squeeze Zayn’s cheek.

They pulled up Netflix on Louis’ flat screen TV over his fireplace mantle. After that, they turned on the first Christmas movie they found, which happened to be _Love Actually_. While Louis went into his closet to take out Zayn’s presents (a pair of Gucci gloves, a new case for his phone, as well as the new Supreme sneakers), Zayn said something that Louis couldn’t quite hear.

“What was that?” he asked, walking back over to the bed and depositing all of Zayn’s presents in front of him.

“I was saying that this is Harry’s favorite movie,” Zayn said, gesturing toward the screen.

Louis hummed, not really wanting to dive into the Harry topic with Zayn, but for some reason Zayn kept persisting.

“Have you, uh, heard from him today?”

Frowning, Louis shrugged. He had actually. Harry had texted him a dumb selfie of his sleepy face as he woke up that morning to wish him a Merry Christmas. Louis replied back with a selfie where he stuck up his middle finger next to their Christmas tree. It was very on brand with their relationsh -- well, whatever they were.

“Why are you asking me?” Louis asked, as though he was the last person to know about Harry.

Zayn chuckled awkwardly as he reached for his presents while Louis sat back down next to him. “I was just wondering. I hadn’t heard from him today and I know you guys talk.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I just mean, like, you can talk to me, you know? Like, I wouldn’t ever judge you for anything. Especially not you...or you with Harry.”

Louis could feel the tips of his ears burning. He didn’t even know how to respond.

“I, um, saw you and Harry the night of your party,” Zayn continued. “In your bedroom.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Louis muttered, covering his face.

“Louis, it’s _fine_.”

“It’s _not_ ,” he said. “I don’t know...I don’t know what i’m doing okay? You probably want answers and I don’t really have them.”

“I don’t want anything from you, Lou. I just want you to be able to trust me and tell me if there’s anything I can do.”

Louis sighed. “You could drop the subject and let it be. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Zayn would listen to his request and not pry -- he always did. Louis knew that Zayn respected his wishes and so when Zayn picked up his presents and opened them, thanking Louis, it brought a small smile back on Louis’ lips. He just couldn’t shake off the fact that Zayn knew, though. He’d genuinely thought everyone left that night or that at least his door was locked. Louis felt exposed in a way he didn’t want to be. At least not yet.

After Zayn left, Louis mosied over to his kitchen in search of a snack. What he found was his mother eating cheesecake on the kitchen island with a guilty smile on her face, most likely because she was breaking another one of her diets. Louis smiled at her as he grabbed a fork for himself and took a seat beside her, taking a bite of the cheesecake off her plate.

“How’s Zayn? Did you two have a good time?” Anastasia asked.

Louis nodded in response to her question. “Yeah, we watched movies.”

“That sounds like a lovely time,” she said, smiling as she bit into another spoonful of cake.

Louis nodded, not knowing what else to say. Of course, he wanted to tell his mom everything. He wanted to share with her what he was going through, but he held back. For some reason, he couldn’t speak. He felt so cowardly about that -- and ashamed, too. Anastasia, knowing her son better than he thought, prodded him with her shoulder.

“What’s got you so down?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he quickly responded. “Everything’s fine.”

She nodded, though it was clear in her eyes that she didn’t believe him. “Okay, if you say so. How’s Eleanor? I haven’t seen her pretty face around in a while.”

“She’s -- she’s good.”

“Bring her around more often. I know you’re all busy with schoolwork and the holidays, but I’m sure she needs to get away from home and all that mess. I just feel so bad for that family, Lou. They must be going through so much. I haven’t had the time to call them up, but I think I will soon.”

“Right,” Louis nodded slowly.

“You should just make sure Eleanor’s okay,” his mom continued. “Be the supportive boyfriend I taught you to be.”

She gave him a wink before sliding off her stool and walking upstairs. Louis finished the rest of the cheesecake, though his stomach resisted with how tense and anxious he was. He really should call Eleanor and make sure she was okay. They never spoke after the break up, not like they said they would, and she was seen with some guy. He needed to know if she was still interested in him or if what Harry said was true -- that she was done with Louis.

As Louis got up, leaving the plate in the sink, he heard the elevator door ping and he frowned curiously. The doorman never let anyone that wasn’t on their immediate list of contacts up without calling. Louis walked out to the main hall and raised his eyebrows when he saw Harry. He had a bored expression on his face, lips in a soft pout.

“What are you doing here?” Louis asked, glancing up the stairwell to see if his mom or sisters were up. All the lights seemed off, so they were safe.

“Had a crummy Christmas,” Harry admitted, voice slow. “Didn’t feel like being alone anymore.”

The vulnerability in Harry’s voice pulled at Louis’ heartstrings. He had no idea who this Harry was, really. He’d always seen the cocky, confident Harry, the one who didn’t give a fuck about anything. He wasn't used to the one telling him he had butterflies in his stomach because of Louis, or the one showing up at his doorstep Christmas night saying he was lonely.

Louis didn’t think as he closed the distance between them and kissed Harry softly. His fingers stroked through Harry’s hair, pulling him close, and Harry pulled his body flush against his while his hands securely held Louis’ waist. They kissed for a few moments, lost in the feeling, and Louis tried his best to push away any loneliness Harry might have been feeling. His father was such a shit. He probably didn’t spend any time with his son today.

Pulling away, Louis looked at Harry as he asked, “Come upstairs with me?”

Harry nodded, smiling sleepily, as Louis led him up the stairwell, their hands locked between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly have no excuse for lack of updates other than my life was genuinely in shambles and i felt v lost and bleh so here i am - BACK!
> 
> [fic post](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/post/161333536170/fic-dont-you-think-that-its-boring-how-people) / [fic page](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/ggau) / [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/123144119/playlist/16fRGD5NIFALexkMrQIUG3)


	6. now playing: “three wishes” - the pierces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: underage drinking, smoking weed, and i think thats it???

 

**Gossip Girl Blast #2345**

_Hey Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite._

_Hope you’re all bundled up and warming up for the upcoming New Year’s festivities. Now that Christmas is over, the rest of winter break will seemingly rush by. And I know no one is looking forward to going back to the books and mundane classes. But not to worry, we still have one big, last hurrah left. Everyone knows no one does New Year’s like New York Fucking City. Amirite?_

_Spotted: Harry Styles strolling through Central Park. Our resident bad boy has been laying kind of low lately, always seen by himself. We can’t help but wonder what he’s been up to -- or rather_ who _? Could it be that Harry Styles has found himself a permanent lover or is he brooding over someone that tore his heart apart? We can’t be sure, but we know something’s brewing underneath those luscious, chocolate curls. It’s only a matter of time before I figure it out._

_Until I do, we know for certain that our favorite couple, Louis and Eleanor, have called it quits,  but they’re still talking. Word has it that they’ve been seen texting and keeping steady contact with each other. Could a make up be in the horizon? Time will tell._

_You know you love me._

_xoxo,_

_Gossip Girl_

**♥** **Eleanor** **♥**

Stepping out of Bergdorf Goodman, Eleanor pulled her phone out of her black purse to check her slew of new messages and a few Gossip Girl blasts. She was engrossed in them, not really looking where she was going until she bumped into someone and they steadied her by holding her by her arms. Eleanor glanced up, an apology already slipping past her lips, but stopped when she realized it was Louis. He was smiling at her, blue eyes clear as the ocean off Honduras. He had on a long brown coat from Versace, dressed underneath in a blue sweater and fitted trousers.

“Louis,” she breathed out. “Sorry. I wasn’t really watching where I was going.”

“No worries,” he chuckled. “How’ve you been?”

“Good,” she replied. “You?”

“Same as usual. Were you shopping?”

Eleanor shrugged. “Sort of. I was bored at home, just watching TV all day, and wanted to step out.”

“5th Avenue is always a good spot for a day out,” Louis agreed. “Are you coming to Calvin’s New Year’s Eve party tomorrow?”

“I was thinking about it.”

“You should come...really, this time. I know that I didn’t really deserve you coming to my birthday party after everything that happened, but I’d really like to make it up to you, Eleanor. So I was thinking maybe we could go to the party together?”

Eleanor widened her eyes in surprise. Going to a party together would insinuate that they were back together. Louis wasn’t coming right out and saying those words, but if he wanted to go to a party together it meant he wanted people to at least assume. Her mind was running, conflicted and confused. She had hoped Louis would understand she wasn’t quite ready to get back with him after the stunt she pulled on his birthday.

The Gossip Girl blast about her and Max exposed them, and yet Louis kept up a cordial front. He kept texting her afterwards, and it didn’t really seem like he was mad. In fact, it seemed like he was pushing for her even more. And Eleanor wouldn’t lie and say that she didn’t still love him. Of course she did. They had history. No one would ever understand what they meant to each other.

“Yeah, I guess we could go together,” she said, giving him a small smile.

Louis offered one back, though it seemed a bit tense and forced. “So, I guess I’ll leave you to your wandering. I’ve got to get back home. It was nice seeing you.”

“You, too, Lou.”

He gave her a wave, making his way down the block, and something just felt off all of a sudden. She hated that. This was exactly why she didn’t want to get back with Louis. He was always so up and down, hot and cold. Where did that hesitation toward the end even come from? Eleanor groaned to herself, pulling her phone out once more and shooting Harry a text.

_Meet me at mine!_

Within an hour, Eleanor had Harry in her room, retelling the events with Louis. Harry sat there, listening while playing with his Burberry scarf and looking slightly bored. But that was sometimes his natural expression. Once done with her story, Eleanor slumped down on her bed, sighing as she laid over her yellow floral print duvet that matched her yellow walls.  

“So?” she asked. “What’s your verdict?”

“Frankly, I don’t think he’s interested in you and he’s just jerking you around because he’s a dick,” Harry offered.

Eleanor frowned at him. “You think so?”

Harry nodded assuredly. “I mean, if he really wanted to get back together with you, he would take you out on a nice date. Wine and dine you and apologize for his mistakes. He hasn’t done that, though. He’s been half-assed texting you and then decides on a whim, after he bumps into you, to go to a party together. I don’t know, El. Doesn’t sound too promising to me.”

It took a moment to register what Harry said, but it all made sense. “Fuck. I really am letting him jerk me around, aren’t I? If he wants to be with me again, why doesn’t he just ask me? Unless there’s something else there…” When she looked back at Harry, he just shrugged with a roll of his eyes. “Well aren’t you two quite close?”

“I guess,” Harry trailed off, growing silent.

“Well, why don’t you find out what the fuck’s going on? C’mon Harry. Do this for me.”

She expected a bit of resistance, but Harry just smiled. “I’ll do my best.”

**♥** **Harry** **♥**

For some reason, it was hard getting in touch with Louis after Harry promised Eleanor that he’d talk to him. When Harry called and texted, Louis was unresponsive, brushing Harry off by saying he was busy finishing up some last minute assignments for school. It wasn’t until the following night at Calvin’s New Year’s Eve party that Harry found Louis, well past tipsy as he danced with his friends.

“Can I have a word?” he asked, approaching the other boy, letting his eyes drift down Louis’s body. He looked good, as always, dressed in tight fitted jeans and a white t-shirt that had “not heartbroken” written in script on the pocket.

Louis looked over at Harry, a smile playing on his lips, before continuing to dance to some Maroon 5 song as though Harry didn’t just ask him something. Harry frowned at that, wondering what the hell he was playing at. He repeated his question, making sure Louis made eye contact with him this time. Finally, Louis relented and led Harry toward the bar, where he asked the bartender for another drink.

“Whiskey on ice, please,” Louis requested, licking his lips and looking out at the party, the people talking beside them and the couple that just snuck into the bathroom for a quickie. Basically anywhere that wasn’t Harry. It wasn't entirely strange because they did agree to keep it quiet for now, but this was getting irritating. Louis was outright trying to ignore him. But Harry wasn’t going to have it.

“I was trying to talk to you last night,” Harry began.

“Right, I was busy,” Louis said, waving at someone over Harry’s shoulder.

“Well, it’s a bit urgent, so can we go somewhere private?”

Louis shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe later?”

“ _Louis_ ,” Harry pressed. “It’s about Eleanor. And if you don’t want to go anywhere else, I’ll start talking right here, right now. You know I will.”

It was the challenge and threat in Harry’s tone and words that got Louis to finally look at him. His expression wasn’t kind, though. His blue eyes looked stormy with anger, something Harry had grown quite attracted to. Louis was hot, but he was hotter when he was mad. After Louis’ drink arrived, the two of them walked out to the balcony where, thankfully, there was no one else. Why would they be here? It was freezing cold and the weather app did say it would snow later on.

“Alright, be quick,” Louis said. “What do you want?”

Harry cut right to the chase. “What’s going on with you and Eleanor?”

“Nothing...for now. We came to the party together and we’ve been talking. Things are fine.”

Louis was aiming for nonchalance, which annoyed Harry. He scoffed as he said, “I’m going to need a little more than that, Louis. She’s under the impression you might want to get back together.”

There was hesitation in Louis’ next response, eyes shifting as he took another sip of his drink. The streets below were loud with cars honking, drunk people shouting, and music coming out from other apartment windows. Calvin lived a bit near Midtown and you could see Times Square from his balcony. The massive crowd waiting for the ball to drop was visible from where they were stood.

“Maybe I am trying to get back with her,” Louis eventually said.

Harry’s eyebrows nearly shot off his head, shocked at Louis’ admission. “You what? Louis, are you really back at that again?”

“Oh, shut up, Harry. You don’t have any idea how I feel for Eleanor. I get that you’re mad that you’re not going to be able to put your dick in me anymore, but get over it. I’m sure you’ll find someone new to be fascinated over.”

Harry shook his head roughly. “That’s not it at all. I thought you were past this. Don’t you see that you and Eleanor are a bad idea? You guys don’t feel the same for each other.”

“You don’t get to tell us what we feel, Harry!” Louis shouted.

Harry sighed, frustrated and nearly frantic. He hated that Louis wanted to step away from what they had and reduce it to something so inconsequential. He hated, even more than that, that Louis wanted to get back with Eleanor -- that he didn’t want Harry anymore.

“Fine, I won’t tell you how you feel. But be honest,” he said, voice shaking. “Do you want to get back with her because you still love her or because of your family's pressure?”

“Why does that matter?”

“It _does_!”

“Alright, Harry. I still love her,” Louis spat out. “I’m still in love with Eleanor and I want to be with her. Do you believe me now?”

Something burned inside of Harry, painful prickles spreading all the way to his heart. He’d never felt this way before. It wasn’t even that Louis had never said things to him that were hurtful and rude and abrasive, but this one beat them all. Harry couldn’t do anything but just stare at him.

“You need to get off my back about this,” Louis went on. “I don’t need you meddling in my relationship with Eleanor.”

“In case you forgot, she’s my best friend,” Harry reminded him. “And I don’t like you messing around with her head and playing games with her heart. I’ve even told her that.”

Louis narrowed his eyes at Harry, glaring furiously. “Are you the one putting things in her head then? Is that why she’s so hesitant in wanting to get back with me?”

Harry smirked, feeling like he finally had a bit of the upper hand. “Perhaps.”

“See, this is why I can’t trust you or be with you, Harry!” Louis shouted over the noise below as well as in the apartment. “You butt in where you don’t need to. You open your big mouth and just ruin things. I can’t trust you at all to want what’s best for me. Just leave everyone alone. You’re like an annoying fly that won’t go away. Don’t you realize that nobody needs you or wants you?”

Harry inhaled sharply, feeling the weight of Louis’ words hang over him. He was once again left speechless by Louis’ cruelty. He wondered why he even bothered to talk to him if this was going to be the outcome. As if sensing his thoughts, Louis turned on his heel and walked back inside to the party. Harry decided to stay back and sit on one of the chairs. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and started smoking through them, willing his heart to stop pounding in his chest, rapid and harsh.

Louis’ words stung. It wasn’t like Harry didn’t feel alone as it was, but hearing someone else say that and tell him how insignificant and bothersome he was to others -- it was almost unbearable. If his family didn’t want him and now his peers didn’t either, then where would Harry go? He didn’t know, but right now, he didn’t want to be at this party anymore.

Standing up, he smoked the last of the cigarette in his hand and went back into the party. It somehow got even more crowded as everyone started counting down to midnight and the new year. A few feet away, Harry spotted Louis standing close to Eleanor, practically hanging off of her as they spoke. He couldn’t take his eyes off of them. Not until it struck midnight and they started to kiss. Then, he couldn’t bear it anymore.

Harry looked around at everyone cheering, hugging, and kissing, but no one looked back at him. Is this what it felt like to be completely invisible? He walked through the crowd, heading toward the door, but glanced back at Louis and Eleanor once more. He spotted them opening a bedroom door, hands all over each other as they entered and closed the door behind them.

Harry felt like he’d lost Louis, which was funny because he was barely Harry’s to begin with. Yet, he still took Harry’s heart, something Harry didn’t realize he had.

Taking the lift downstairs, his driver quickly stepped out of the car once he saw Harry and opened the door for him. After Harry got in, he asked, “Where would you like to go, Mr. Styles?”

“Home,” Harry replied. “Need to pick up a few things and then the airport.”

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

School had been back in session for a week, yet Harry was nowhere to be seen. He wasn’t in the halls nor was he in any of their classes. Not that Harry was some avid student who bothered with his school work, but he still showed up for kicks.

After their conversation at the party and the night that ended in disaster, Louis was starting to worry. He was _really_ mean and he knew he must have pushed Harry’s buttons with every awful word he threw at him. Making out with Eleanor and leading her to an empty bedroom was the icing on the cake. It was all show, anyway. They’d kissed for a bit, but no matter how much Eleanor touched him and tried to rouse him, Louis wasn’t turned on. In fact, he just felt uncomfortable. Eleanor figured it out for herself after a while and stopped. She gave him an awkward smile and left the room.

Louis left the party right after, calling Harry on the ride home in his Uber. Harry, as Louis expected, didn’t pick up his calls. Not that night, nor the next night, or the ones following. Louis expected that once break was over and they were forced to see each other at school, they could talk, but Harry wasn’t there either.

Louis didn’t want to admit it, but he was worried. He knew he said some things that were insensitive about Harry’s personal life and out of line, but he was drunk and angry and insecure. He didn’t mean them. He just needed to make sure that Harry knew that. But where was he?

It wasn't until the end of the first week back at school that Louis got his answer. His classes had just finished and he was waiting for his Uber when Bart rolled up in his sleek black escalade. Bart would have walked right past Louis, engrossed in his phone, had Louis not stopped him.

“Mr. Styles,” Louis greeted, walking over. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Oh, hello, Louis,” Bart said, giving him a small smile. “I’m here for a board meeting for trustees.”

“I see,” Louis replied. “I haven’t seen Harry around. Is he alright?”

Bart nodded, though, looked like he was growing a migraine from the mere mention of his son. “He’s fantastic, actually. Soaking up the sun in Monaco with Eleanor last I heard of him.”

Louis blinked at Bart, mouth gaping open. Harry flew off to Monaco? And when did Eleanor meet him? Louis hadn’t even noticed that she wasn’t in school. They didn’t talk after the New Year’s party. He was suddenly paranoid that the two of them were sitting on luxurious towels on a beach in Monaco, sipping cool drinks while the sun beat down on them, and talking shit about Louis.

“Alright, so I’ll see you around, Louis,” Bart said, giving him a look as he left. He was probably confused as to why Louis just shut down. Louis quickly took his phone out, opening Harry’s thread of messages.

_Heard you’ve been hiding away in Monaco. I get you’re trying to get away and be on your own, or whatever, but I know you’re reading these. Talk to me!_

Surprisingly, Harry replied right away, and he attached a picture of him and Eleanor, beaming at the camera with their Prada shades on.

_Wow, Lou. What are you so scared of? Think I’ll spill? I mean… i just might…_

Fuck.

\--

Harry and Eleanor flew back to New York that following Sunday, right on time for Monday classes the next day. Louis spent the better part of his weekend trying to focus on his Economics test rather than worry about Harry and his big fucking mouth. He didn’t text Harry back nor did he try to reach out to Eleanor to see if Harry might have said anything. On Monday morning, while going over his schedule with Oli and Calvin on the MET steps, Eleanor walked over. She was carrying a new Michael Kors purse, in a light pink shade, and looked sun kissed and happy.

“Hi, Lou!” she grinned. “Did you have a good rest of the break?”

“I did,” he responded. “How about you?”

“It was so amazing getting away,” Eleanor preened. “Harry just decided last minute to fly me out with him and we had a great few days. But I guess we’re back to the same old routine, huh?”

Louis smiled warily, studying Eleanor. She seemed genuinely happy, which must mean that Harry hadn’t opened his mouth. But for how long? It was killing Louis. He just knew Harry was going to expose him, especially after how they ended things. Louis shouldn’t have been so reckless. He shouldn’t have went after Harry like that. Now he was suffering in constant state of paranoia that his sexploitations would be spilled, and most likely on Gossip Girl.

“Yeah, it definitely sucks,” Louis eventually agreed. “I bet you guys have a ton of work to catch up on.”

Eleanor shuddered. “Don’t remind me. I’m probably going to have to pull all nighters or something. Anyway, I’m off to see a teacher about homework assignments that I have to make up. I’ll see you around. Maybe we can get lunch?”

“Sure,” he nodded. “I’ll see you in the courtyard.”

With a wave and another big smile, Eleanor was off, walking down the steps of the MET and heading toward Constance. Louis watched after her, wondering what he should do about this whole dilemma. It just seemed easier in his head to get back with Eleanor. He wasn’t ready yet to be honest about what it was that he really wanted. Plus, it wasn’t like Harry was a good enough reason to out himself. Harry was manipulative, trying to get into Eleanor’s head and blackmailing Louis. He was selfish and arrogant and everything Louis didn’t need in his life.

Then again, Louis couldn’t help but wonder what was going through Eleanor’s head. She went to the party with Louis, kissed him at midnight, and then when nothing happened, she jetted off to Monaco with Harry. No fight, no texts, nothing. Upon her return, it was like nothing had happened at all. Surely she had some sort of talk with Harry to be friendly to Louis? Before, if all this went down, Eleanor would be off pouting somewhere, upset that Louis wasn’t giving her the attention she wanted. He never did get around to asking what she was doing with Liam’s weird friend in Central Park the night of his birthday party. He kept forgetting, but at this point, he supposed it didn’t matter. Louis never really cared about that.

“Louis, are you going to the pool party on Friday?” Calvin asked, eyes trained on his phone.

“What pool party?” Louis asked.

“Gossip Girl sent out a blast that someone’s got a key to the pool at school,” Oli explained. “We’re breaking in with booze.”

Louis hummed, nodding his head. That sounded like a good time. Maybe he could even corner Harry into talking.

\--

The pool party started off on the wild side right away. There was copious amounts of alcohol, weed, and hormonal teenagers, looking to relieve themselves after a long week at school. Louis arrived with his red swimming trunks in hand and Oli and Calvin by his side. He spotted Eleanor in the pool with a few of her girls playing chicken, Zayn and Liam talking on the sideline, while Harry sat in the lifeguard seat, watching everyone with a devious glint in his eye.

Louis decided he should approach Harry now to get it over with. He wanted to be done with whatever game they were playing. Thankfully, Oli and Calvin drifted off on their own so Louis was free to walk over to Harry. “Mind coming down?” Louis asked him, blinking up at the other boy.

Harry looked at him, taken aback for a moment before sighing as he stepped down. “What can I do for you?” he asked. “I’ve got Becca waiting for me.” He gestured over to a girl in a green bikini, standing off on the side while watching Harry. Harry really didn’t wait to move on.

“Becca can wait,” Louis rolled his eyes. “We need to talk. I know you’re having a lot of fun torturing me by threatening to tell Eleanor, but it has to stop.”

“Does it?” Harry cocked his head to the side.

“Yes,” Louis hissed at him, crossing his arms. “I’m getting tired of it. Aren’t you bored already?”

“Not really. I’m having a lot of fun actually.”

“Harry! It has to end sometime. How long are you planning to do this?”

Harry thought for a moment. “Until the sight of you and Eleanor together doesn’t make me want to throw up.”

Louis raised his eyebrows. “And when will that be?”

Harry shrugged. “I’m not sure. Could be tomorrow...could be another few months?”

“Isn’t there anyone else you can torture?” Louis asked, frowning.

“I guess I could,” Harry scoffed. “But I choose you. Now, if you’ll excuse me. Becca has been so patient.” With a wink, Harry walked away with green bikini (who looked like a Cara Delevingne bargain brand), leaving Louis standing there fuming.

**♥** **Liam** **♥**

It was really nice of Zayn to invite Liam to the pool party that night. Liam had never received invites to parties like this, but it was kind of exciting. Clearly it was against the rules, but that was what made it fun. What’s more, Zayn had even extended the offer to Max, who showed up this time in a pretty good mood.

Though, Liam suspected it was because of Eleanor. He had caught Max and Eleanor talking on numerous occasions, flirty and shy. When he looked to see if Louis was noticing them as well, he found that the other boy was too busy talking with Harry and his friends. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he would rather stay out of it. He’d try to warn Max, but he was stubborn and made his own decisions. He must see something in Eleanor, too. It wasn’t like Upper East Side girls were particularly Max’s type.

Currently, Max was filming Eleanor saying something to his camera -- the one he took with him almost everywhere. He’d been filming quite a lot tonight, but it was like any typical high school party footage, just with expensive alcohol.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Zayn asked. He had a joint between his lips, looking more and more relaxed as he smoked. Liam had smoked before with Max, but didn’t enjoy it as much. But Zayn made it look pretty fun.

“Yeah, I am. Thanks for inviting us,” Liam replied.

“No problem. I figured we could all do with this tonight. I actually have something I wanted to tell you. It’s sort of a secret.”

“What’s that?”

Zayn opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by a loud scream. They both turned to look in the direction of the noise and saw everyone looking into the pool. “Fuck,” Zayn said, standing up. The two of them rushed over and found someone floating in the pool, unconscious. Harry jumped in, bringing the boy’s body out of the pool and onto the floor.

“Someone needs to call 911,” Liam said, running over to check on the boy, who wasn’t responding. For a moment, Zayn hesitated, but then pulled his phone out, dialing the number.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this came out relatively sooner than expected!
> 
> [fic post](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/post/161333536170/fic-dont-you-think-that-its-boring-how-people) / [fic page](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/ggau) / [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/123144119/playlist/16fRGD5NIFALexkMrQIUG3)


	7. now playing: “sour cherry” - the kills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: underage drinking

 

**Gossip Girl Blast #2398**

_Hey Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite._

_Only one word can describe this past weekend and that’s BUSTED. All those who showed up at the party last Friday night know Will Kensington, star football player, got drunk and somehow knocked into a pole and fell into the pool. He nearly drowned until local hero/bad boy, Harry Styles, saved him. Will bruised himself pretty bad and has a serious concussion, but he’ll be okay._

_Unfortunately for us, that’s not enough to get the school off our backs. Seeing as how we had to call the ambulance, school authorities and parents showed up, and now we’re all in deep shit. And_ someone _, we don’t know who, left their phone back at school, with revealing pictures of the party on there. Now the school knows exactly who was there and is questioning every single one of us to find out who acquired the key to the pool in the first place. As if that wasn’t bad, if someone doesn’t come forth soon, we could all face expulsion. I want to know who you think it is so vote below in the poll._

_Spotted: Louis Tomlinson and Eleanor Calder outside of his apartment building. My source tells me he was walking her out and saying goodbye with a kiss. How sweet. The two have been getting significantly cozier since Eleanor came back from Monaco. Should we believe the on again-off again couple are on again?_

_You know you love me._

_xoxo,_

_Gossip Girl_

**♥** **Harry** **♥**

“So we all know how this works,” Louis addressed the group at large. They were sitting out in the courtyard at school, having just finished the longest assembly during which the headmasters of both St. Jude’s and Constance assigned them all 10,000 word essays on how they ended up going to the party. This was punishment until the person who had the key came forward.

Liam, who somehow got roped into their group, spoke up, “How what works?”

“No one talks and no one gets into trouble, Brooklyn boy,” Harry told him. He looked over at everyone else -- Eleanor, Zayn, Calvin, and Oli.

“Do we know who broke in, though?” Eleanor asked, frowning.

Harry hid a smile. He didn’t know, but he had found the key hidden under some towels that night so he pocketed it and kept it with him. “Don’t worry about it, El. We know it wasn’t you.”

“Well, do we all agree or what?” Louis prompted again, crossing his arms as everyone looked back at him.

Zayn nodded, a grim expression on his face. “Agreed.”

“Sorry to burst all your bubbles, but I can’t afford to get expelled. My parents can’t buy my way into another school, unlike yours,” Liam said.

“We won’t get expelled,” Zayn assured him. “They can’t expel two-thirds of the junior class.” He paused for a moment. “And if it comes down to that, I’ll make sure you get off scot free, Li.”

“I’m about to gag at your brotherhood,” Louis said, pretending to barf. “Anyway, now that that’s settled, I’m off. I’ll see you guys later.”

After Louis’ departure Calvin and Oli left as well, trailing behind him. Once they left, Zayn and Liam dwindled away in their own direction, leaving Eleanor and Harry behind. Harry smiled at her. “Want to grab a bite to eat and then write this stupid essay together? Or we could hire someone to write it for us. My dad knows a guy.”

Eleanor shook her head. “I’m actually going to head home and finish my homework. Louis’ coming over tonight so I won’t have time to do it later.”

Harry raised an eyebrow, “Oh, is he?” He forced out a casual laugh. “El...I thought we talked about this. He’s jerking you around. But you still went to that party with him and you’re just doing everything we agreed you wouldn’t do.”

“I know,” Eleanor began, not meeting Harry’s eyes. “But he kissed me the other night so i think we’re fine?”

“He kissed you?”

“No, technically, I kissed him, but same thing.”

Harry frowned deeply. “Was he, like, into the kiss?”

“Um, of course he was into it,” Eleanor said, now frowning as well. “Why wouldn’t he be?”

“I mean, I don’t know. You know how hot and cold Louis is. Hard to guess.”

“Look, I haven’t told this to anyone, but I think the reason Louis is acting the way he is is because of his mom and step dad’s divorce,” Eleanor admitted. “I think it really affected him, H. And if he needs time before he can trust and love me, then I’ll give him time. I don’t mind.”

Harry couldn’t do anything but nod. Eleanor meant well, but in that moment he really wanted to shake some sense into her. He also really wanted to tell her to fuck off, because Harry wanted Louis.

\--

A Gossip Girl blast went out the following night announcing Louis’ get together at his place to write their papers. In other words, everyone partied and hung out while they got a couple of the nerds to write their papers for them. The turnout was as expected for a Tomlinson party -- crowded but classy. There were servers going around giving everyone flutes of champagne. On a long table draped with a silver silk cloth were trays of cheese and crackers.

Harry bypassed all of that and went straight for a glass of whiskey from the bar. He took his drink and laid down on of one of the loveseats, letting himself relax. He’d already given his assignment in to the guy who was writing it for him and all he needed to do was enjoy himself. However, his mind kept drifting back to the key he found at the pool.

Feeling for it in his jacket pocket, Harry pulled it out, twirling it between his fingers. Suddenly, someone grabbed it from his hand and Harry glared up to see Louis. “What the fuck are you doing with this?” Louis hissed, pocketing it. “You can’t just have this out in my apartment. It’s evidence, you dumb ass.”

Before Harry could muster up a response, Louis was already walking away, dashing upstairs, presumably to his bedroom. Harry watched him until he was out of sight, wondering what to do about Louis. He had to approach him at some point to ask what he was doing in regards to himself and Eleanor.

Speaking of, Eleanor chose that exact moment to step out of the elevator. Harry stood up to greet her when he was intercepted.

“Harry.” Liam looked serious and put off. Harry gave him a bored look, eyeing his outfit. It looked like thrift store clothes -- jeans, a plaid shirt, and a bomber jacket. Beside him, his friend with the camera was filming something off to the side, but was obviously more interested in this conversation. “I think you need to tell the truth.”

Harry gave him a confused look, brows pinching together. “Come again?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” Liam continued, starting to look frustrated and a little embarrassed as some people looked over to eavesdrop on their conversation, no doubt sending it off to Gossip Girl.

“Actually,” Harry said, sitting up. “I don’t. And what ever happened to don’t speak until spoken to?”

“I literally just saw you with the key. You’re the one who got everyone in that night for the party.”

Harry needed something stronger than whiskey to get him through this conversation. He sighed and finished off his drink. “Listen, Payne. Regardless of who you hang out with now, remember who you’re speaking to. You and I come from different worlds, that’s obvious. For example, in my world, if I’m suspended or expelled, there will be a wing donated to the school in the Styles name.”

Liam gave him a dry chuckle. “That seems like quite a world.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Harry went on. “I have security. My family and my name can protect me lest something awful were to happen. But tell me -- what do you have being a Payne? Other than being a pain in the fucking ass.” Harry stood up to face Liam head on. He spotted their friends hovering nearby, all eyes on them. “And FYI, you narc, I found the key at the party and took it so that we didn’t get blamed...including you.”

That seemed to shut up Liam. At last. Harry had enough of talking to him so he picked up his empty glass and headed over to the bar again.

**♥** **Eleanor** **♥**

Eleanor went upstairs when she saw Louis run up there, but by the time she made it halfway up the stairs, he was already on his way down again. “Hey,” Louis smiled, out of breath and slightly frazzled. “Thanks for coming.”

“Yeah, of course, Lou,” Eleanor smiled back.

“I’d stay and chat, but I should see to everyone else. Can’t be a bad host,” he said. That was expected. If there was one thing Anastasia Tomlinson had ever taught her son, it was that a host should never leave their guests alone for too long.

She watched as Louis made his way back down the stairs and jumped into a conversation with Jenna Sloane and Parker Lopez. She knew them pretty well too, but wasn’t feeling up to socializing just yet. So Eleanor made her way upstairs and let herself into Louis’ bedroom, taking a lie down on his bed. There was a lot on her mind, as usual, and she’d actually written Louis a letter detailing everything that she was feeling. She was hoping that once she had it down on paper, she’d feel better, but now she actually wanted him to know.

Which was why she’d brought the letter with her, currently burning a hole in her coat pocket. Reaching in, she took it out, studying her cursive letters spelling out Louis’ name on the purple envelope. Maybe she could leave it in his drawer. This way, it was there for him to read, and she didn’t have to feel nervous about giving it to him and having him read her deepest feelings right in front of her. Sitting up, Eleanor reached over to pull open Louis’ bedside table drawer. As she went to place the letter inside, she noticed a golden key sitting. It had their school logo imprinted on it, which meant this was the key to the pool.

“Fuck,” Eleanor muttered to herself. So Louis had been the one who did it.

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

Playing host was one of Louis’ favorite hobbies. His mother was well-known for her soirees and she’d passed on all her tips to him for impromptu parties like this. Louis was thriving, mingling with his peers (except for the Brooklyn slums) and was on his way to the kitchen to make sure there were more hors d'oeuvres coming out when Harry grabbed him by the arm and tugged him into a hallway.

Louis pulled his arm away, shooting Harry a glare. “Let go of me, Styles!” He had no idea what Harry’s problem was but this was not the time to deal with him.

“How about you drop your Eleanor habit first?” Harry shot back, voice quiet as he moved in closer to him.

“How about you stop reading Gossip Girl and realize that not everything she writes is true?”

“Really? Because I was told you two kissed and a kiss would send a bit of a wrong signal, wouldn’t it?” Harry asked, watching as Louis’ eyes widened guiltily. “Didn’t peg you for a liar Lou, but I guess that’s all you have been these past couple of weeks, huh?”

Louis blanched at the accusation. He’d hoped to keep his and Eleanor’s current state of relationship under wraps from everyone, especially Harry. But Gossip Girl was always going to be there and he guessed Eleanor spilled some secrets to her best friend as well. However, Louis was coming to a point where he was growing tired of everything. He didn’t want to have to deal with both Eleanor and Harry at the same time, and yet he couldn’t let either of them go completely. Right now, though, he wanted neither of them.

“You know what?” Louis said, crossing his arms. “I’m so tired of this. You can go ahead and tell Eleanor. I don’t care.”

“Is that so?” Harry asked, a flicker of surprise passing through his eyes. “You really want me to tell her that you slept with me despite dating her practically your whole life?”

“Yeah and then I’ll tell her that you’re lying,” Louis replied, smirking cockily. “I mean, who do you think she’ll believe? You, who bangs anything in his field of vision, or me, her loving and honest boyfriend of many years?”

Harry lips curled upward into a lopsided grin. “Well, now she’ll believe me.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I have proof,” Harry responded. He leaned back and turned to a dark corner of the hallway where Liam’s slummy friend was standing with his camera turned toward them, a red light blinking meaning it was recording. “Thanks camera guy. You can email that to me.”

Louis gaped at Liam’s friend, pushing Harry out of the way and walking toward the kid whose name he couldn’t remember. “This is my house and that footage belongs to me.”

“Actually,” camera guy said slowly, “it’s my camera and it belongs to me. And thanks to you guys, I have a great new angle for my next movie.” He had a stupid grin on his face, looking much too pleased with himself. Louis had a half of mind to throw a punch, but he’d never done that and wouldn’t want to touch that guy anyway.

Just then, Liam walked out of the living room toward the camera guy, books in hand. “Hey Max. Let’s head out.”

“Not on my watch,” Harry shook his head, advancing toward Max. “If you think I’m going to let you walk out of here without promise that you’re going to send that footage to me, then you’re out of your fucking mind.”

“Get away from him,” Liam jumped in, pushing Harry back. They stared each other down for a few moments before Max tugged on Liam’s arm and they both exited the apartment, taking the elevator down, leaving Louis and Harry in the wake of their inevident fall.

\--

Louis had a fitful night of sleep, tossing and turning, wondering how he was going to get that footage deleted. There was no in way hell Louis was going to let Max keep it. At the party, he kept quiet and calm because he didn’t want to create a scene in a room full of his classmates, all of whom had Gossip Girl on speed dial. So, he decided to approach Max when it was just them. He’d acquired Max’s home address, school address, and frequent hang out spots and called a driver to take him all the way out to Brooklyn.

It was degrading and upsetting, but he had to do it to protect his reputation. Finally, he found the local hoodrat sitting outside a coffee shop on a discreet Brooklyn street. Everything screamed hipster and Louis couldn’t help but wrinkle his nose in disgust as he got out of the car. He hoped to God nobody saw him out here.

“Oh, well, look who it is,” Max said, half of his face hidden behind his book while his coffee sat on the bench beside him. “Came all the way out to Brooklyn to grovel for that video?”

“The fact that you think I, Louis Tomlinson, grovels really shows that you have absolutely no idea who you’re dealing with,” Louis said, cuttingly. “I _don’t_ grovel.”

“Oh, yeah? What is it that you’re going to do then? Ruin my life?” Max asked, still smirking, like he was going to be the last one with the laugh. “You going to tell Gossip Girl something about me? News flash -- I don’t give a fuck about you or anything you do.”

“That’s what you think,” Louis continued. “If you do anything with that footage, like show it to someone, I will literally sue you for so many different violations that you’re going to be left on the stoop of your home.”

“Is that a threat?” Max challenged.

“It’s a promise if you don’t listen to us,” Harry said. Louis whipped his head in the direction of his voice and saw him getting out of his car pulled up at the curb. “C’mon, Max. Don’t do this. In fact, I know you won’t because I have something that I know for a fact you need.”

“What could you possibly have that I would need?” Max questioned him, still looking bored and bemused. Harry held up a fat wad of bills, rolled up with a rubber band. There were hundreds in there. Upon seeing it, Max snorted. “Is that your stripper money?”

“Ten grand,” Harry told him, “for the footage to be deleted and never seen again.”

Max scoffed. “You think I’d take your money and let you bribe me?”

“Max,” Harry sighed. “We all know you do. You might be acting all high and mighty, as though we could offer you nothing, but we know it’s not true. Your dad struggles to pay rent, you barely get any help from him, and the future scares you because you have nothing secured for you. This will help. Don’t act like money isn’t important. Money is important to everyone.”

“Honestly,” Max said after a moment of pause, “I don’t know which one of you is more manipulative.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Louis said, finally gathering himself and hopping back into the conversation. He could tell Harry had done his research and knew that this was what it would take to get Max to shut up and stay out. “This is pocket money for us, but for you it could make a real difference. Am I right?”

Max let that sit with him, thinking over the offer as he put down his book. Eventually, they watched as he pulled out his worn Windows laptop from his backpack and popped the lid open. They both peered over his shoulder, watching as he dragged the _Louis/Harry.mp4_ video file into the trash.

“Delete the bin,” Louis prodded. “Are there any copies?”

“Nope,” Max said, clearing out his recycle bin before closing the laptop.

Harry smiled as he handed over the cash. “It was nice doing business with you.”

“You’re both sick,” Max said as a form of goodbye. Louis only smiled, waving as he made his way back to his car. He watched Harry walk to his own car and wondered if it was too late to go over and talk.

Having Harry help out Louis meant a lot, even if it was because of Harry that they got into this whole mess in the first place. At least Louis knew that Harry wasn’t a complete dick and didn’t want to really harm Louis. It would hurt if he did, which Louis wasn’t keen on admitting. After all, he gave his virginity to Harry, so he couldn’t say he was completely heartless toward him.

**♥** **Eleanor** **♥**

As if it wasn’t humiliating enough having to go through it in Headmaster Keller’s office in front of all the school officials, Eleanor was dragged in front of the entire senior class as well.

After seeing the key in Louis’ bedroom, she thought about how much trouble he would get into if anyone were to find out that he was the one who started it all. She knew he would never come forward, but would likely somehow still get caught. It was 2017, after all, and everyone had a phone with pixel clear camera, taking proof and racking up receipts. In the end, Eleanor decided to take the fall and tell the school that it was her. She took the key from Louis’ room and showed up to the Headmaster’s office with it.

Unfortunately, somehow, Headmaster Keller saw right through it based on some information she’d gotten about the night. While interviewing everyone who was at the party, she’d put together a linear timeline of where everyone was and what they were doing. According to that, Eleanor was off the hook, but her dishonesty was what got her in trouble.

The Headmaster decided to save Eleanor’s punishment for the assembly where the entire class was summoned. Eleanor took a seat all the way in the back, hoping that whatever went down was confidential, but she was called out by name for lying and trying to take the fall before being suspended and dismissed in front of everyone.

“You know where to find the exit,” Headmaster Keller said, a grim expression on her face.

_Bitch_ , Eleanor thought, as she stood up with flushed cheeks and walked out of the room. Once she was outside, she stormed toward the school gates. While calling an Uber, she started to think about what she would tell her parents. She was for sure in trouble, but she needed to explain why she took the fall.

The reason came rushing toward her, caramel colored fringe swishing in the wind. “El,” Louis breathed out. “What just happened? You told them you did it?”

Eleanor faced Louis, her heart feeling weak behind her chest. She wanted to do this for him. So that he would know how gone she was for him and that she was willing to protect him and protect what they had. He never got back to her about the letter she had left in his room and she was desperate for some sort of acknowledgment about how she felt. Eleanor was confused, frustrated, and upset. But she was still there for him. A part of her still loved him and she wondered if Louis understood that.

When she took the blame, she told herself -- this really was going to be the last time she tried for him. If Louis couldn’t see that, then she’d know that she’d done everything she could and the problem was never her.

“Well?” Louis prodded, bringing her back to the present. “Why did you do that? Was it really you?”

She frowned at his words. Wouldn’t he know that it wasn’t her because it was him? Did Louis not get the key? “No, it wasn’t me,” she said.

“Then why the hell did you go and do that?” Louis asked. “You’re suspended and it’s going on your transcript. Colleges will look at that, you know.”

“Because, Louis, I love you,” Eleanor replied, the words spilling out of her. “I found the key in your room so I thought you did it and I knew that you could never take the fall for it. You actually have dreams and goals. I don’t even know what I want so I took the blame because I wanted to show you how much I love you.”

For a long time, he just stood there, staring at her. A text alert from Eleanor’s phone came through; her Uber was arriving soon. She looked at Louis again.

“I have to leave, but tell me right now if you love me, too. If you don’t, then let me go, Lou. Please.”

The seconds stretched out as Louis just stood there, not saying a single word. The emotions were evident on his face. He was conflicted -- she could tell he wanted to say something from the way he opened and closed his mouth, but he didn’t. When the Uber pulled up, she reached for the door handle only to have Louis pull her into a hug.

“You’re one of my best friends, El.”

It wasn’t entirely what she wanted to hear, but she still smiled. She still felt a fraction of a bit lighter and with that, she got into the car and went home.

**♥** **Zayn** **♥**

“I’m freaking out, man,” Liam whispered under his breath. “I cannot get suspended. Did you hear what they said in that assembly? If people keep lying or don’t come forward, they’re going to come after all of us.”

“I know, Liam,” Zayn said, feeling his insides churn from stress. “I was there.”

“I cannot afford to get suspended or expelled,” Liam continued. “My parents are going to flip out. Colleges will never accept me.”

“That won’t happen,” Zayn assured him for what felt like the millionth time.

“How do you know that?” Liam asked him. His eyes narrowed for a moment. “Do you know? Do you know who did it?”

Zayn gulped, feeling light headed. He really didn’t want Liam to hate him, but Liam’s eyes were so big. They looked like they were looking right into his soul and seeing all his lies. Watching Eleanor take the blame and then get suspended felt too close to him. How did the Headmaster know that Eleanor didn’t know? Surely, she was given information that led her to believe she didn’t. Which meant that she must probably know who did it...or have a list of suspects.

And that meant that Zayn was not going to be able to take this to his grave no matter how much he wanted to.

“I do know,” Zayn replied, finally.

“Seriously? Then why aren’t you saying anything?”

“Because...it’s me.”

Liam’s jaw dropped and he quickly backed Zayn into a corner. They had already left the school premises, but then again, spies were everywhere. “Are you serious? You had the key? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was scared, Liam,” Zayn rushed out. “I didn’t want you to judge me for it. I was only trying to have some fun. I didn’t think anyone would get hurt, or that we’d even get caught.” He took a deep breath. “I also didn’t want to tell you or anyone else because I don’t want any of you to feel like you’re stuck between wanting to protect me and protecting yourself. If you know the truth, you’re going to feel some obligation to tell the truth.”

He knew was right. Liam’s expression told him he was right. Now, Zayn had to figure out what to do.

“I guess I understand that, Z,” Liam slowly said. “How’d you even get a key in the first place?”

“I wasn’t dubbed most notorious bad boy in the city for no reason, Li,” Zayn answered, flashing him a wicked, playful smile. “I’ve got my ways.”

Liam, surprisingly enough, laughed. It made Zayn feel better knowing that at least his new friend wasn’t judging him. He was scared of that. Liam was quickly becoming someone who Zayn could count on all the time and he was growing attached to the other boy. Since returning to the city, he’d obviously turned a new leaf. Gone were the crazy partying, intoxicated days. Zayn was a new guy who hung out with new people. If those very people saw that bits of his old self still remained, he didn’t want it to be a turn off.

“Anyway, I’m pretty sure Louis knows it’s me,” Zayn went on. “But he’d never tell on me. I also don’t know why Eleanor took the fall or how she got a hold of the key. What do you think I should do?”

“Truthfully?”

Zayn nodded.

“I think you should tell the school. They will respect your honesty and understand,” Liam admitted.

“Yeah, right,” Zayn argued. “Like they respected Eleanor’s?”

“No, Eleanor lied. That’s different.”

“That’s another thing. I think if they know that Eleanor lied, it means they have an idea as to who it could have been.”

“More the reason to come clean. If you don’t fess up now, it could get worse later. Besides...you’re Zayn Malik. No one can touch you, right?”

While Zayn knew that Liam wasn’t pushing him to confess so that he was out in the clear, but rather because it was the noble thing to do, he also didn’t know Zayn’s situation in depth. “Liam -- I just. I’m scared. You didn’t know me before I left. St. Jude’s barely accepted me back.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, they really didn’t want to deal with me. If I get in any more trouble, no school in this city will take me, and I don’t want to go back to boarding school. I’ve finally gotten a good grasp of my life and I’m so much happier than I’ve ever been.” He paused. “But I also don’t want to jeopardize anyone else’s future. Especially not yours.”

Liam put an arm around Zayn, giving him a comforting squeeze. “I’m here for you. Whatever you end up deciding.”

Zayn curved his mouth into a small smile, letting that sink in.

\--

It was insanely intimidating sitting in front of all the school officials. The headmasters of Constance and St. Jude’s were sitting in the office, as well as a few secretaries and board members. Zayn, in the end, had decided to come clean. After he confessed, they all watched him quietly. That was when he knew that they’d known all along.

“What I don’t understand, Mr. Malik,” Headmaster Charles began, “is why you did it. You are well aware that we accepted you back into St. Jude’s under strict conditions. Your transcript and file reads more like a rap sheet. You had more absentees than attendances your sophomore year of high school. You cheated on tests, talked back to teachers, and almost all your grades were failing.”

Zayn cleared his throat, feeling all eyes zero in on him, making him shrink a little bit in his seat. “Headmaster, before I explain why I did what I did, I’d like to say that while the transcript is right -- those are all things I did in the past -- it’s not who I am anymore. I’ve changed.”

“Is that so?” Headmaster Keller asked, her tone nearing condescension and disbelief.

“Yes,” Zayn nodded, confidently. “All my grades are up, my attendance is perfect, and I’ve managed to stay out of trouble.”

“Until now,” Headmaster Keller pointed out.

“Yes, but I’d thought it would be harmless fun. I never intended for things to get out of control or for anyone to get hurt. I was not the one who provided alcohol or drugs at the party, either.”

“Why did it take you this long to come forward?” Headmaster Charles asked him then.

“I was scared,” Zayn confessed. “But I’m here now and I’m accepting full responsibility for my actions.”

What followed was another long period of silence before they got to listing out his punishments. But not before they called in his parents, both of whom looked tired, giving him an earful on the way home about how he should be thankful that he wasn’t expelled, but rather suspended with several hours of community service.

Zayn felt lighter. The worst was over and now he could move forward.

**♥** **Harry** **♥**

Now that the situation with the pool party was slowly quieting down, what with Zayn taking responsibility, things were starting to sizzle down in the city. No one was gossiping or talking about anything interesting. But Harry still had a lot on his mind. Mostly, it had to do with the official comeback of EleanorandLouis. They were no longer hiding their “relationship” behind the scenes, but rather being open about it in the school.

As if it wasn’t nauseating enough to see the two of them macking it in pictures, now Harry had to see it in person when he was trying to eat lunch. He didn’t even have Zayn as a buffer to annoy since he was suspended. And Zayn’s little puppy, Liam, took to sitting on his own, which left Harry stuck with his best friend, Eleanor, making out with her boyfriend, Louis, who _Harry_ wanted to be making out with.

It was _sickening_. Every moment he had to watch them interact, whether  a look, or a touch, or a kiss, made his skin burn. Mostly because Harry wanted to be the one doing it. He wanted to look at Louis’ chiseled cheekbones, touch Louis’ tanned skin, kiss Louis’ sweet lips. In fact, there were times when all he did was stare at Louis’ lips. It was hard to not reach over and place his own over them. Almost as hard as looking at a word and not reading it.

But he refrained and gave them space, letting it simmer inside of him. However, the green eyed monster in him was thrashing to get out, to do something. So Harry picked up his banana, looking Louis straight in the eye, and took a bite. He made sure to stick his tongue out at first, taking a lick and a taste first before chewing. Louis’ eyes widened, darkening visibly, and Harry couldn’t help but smirk as he continued to devour the banana. He was getting exactly the reaction he was hoping for.

This would show Louis what he was missing out on.

“Gross, H,” Eleanor piped up, looking at him from over her books. She was currently doing some assignment, her suspension having been revoked. “Are you trying to deep throat that banana?”

Harry didn’t look away from Louis as he said, “Something like that.”

“Weirdo,” Eleanor snickered before standing up. “I forgot some books in the library, so I’m going to go get them.”

She leaned over to Louis, who gave her a peck on the cheek and she smiled, happily walking away towards the library. Harry gagged and Louis caught him, shooting him a glare. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he hissed.

“You really going to act like you don’t know?” Harry asked. “I should be asking you, to be honest. Like, are you that fucked up?”

“Look, the way I see it, if you were going to tell Eleanor anything about us, you would have done so already, but you didn’t. Why? Because you don’t want her to hate you. So, I guess whatever was between us can be well and forgotten, don’t you think? I’m moving on and so should you. Let’s let bygones be bygones.”

Harry gritted his teeth.

“Game over, Harry,” Louis said, tauntingly. “I won.”

“The game’s not fucking over until I say it is,” he whispered, leaning over the table.

Louis smirked slowly. “Then have fun playing with yourself, Styles.” He stood up, grabbed Eleanor’s belongings, and walked away, leaving Harry alone.

He’d had enough of Louis toying with him and his feelings. He’d had enough of his scathing words, his taunting actions, and the way he was playing both him and Eleanor. If Louis thought he won because Harry hadn’t opened his mouth, then he was mistaking Harry’s tactics with fear and cowardness. Neither of which Harry was.

Harry was going to tell. And he wasn’t going to just tell Eleanor. He was going to tell everyone.

He pulled his phone out, composing a text to Gossip Girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a cliffhanger!!!!!
> 
> [fic post](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/post/161333536170/fic-dont-you-think-that-its-boring-how-people) / [fic page](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/ggau) / [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/123144119/playlist/16fRGD5NIFALexkMrQIUG3)


	8. now playing: “a world alone” - lorde

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: slutshaming (is that a trigger? it's something that happens here tho), underage drinking, accidental outting (sorta)

**Gossip Girl Blast #2416**

_Hello Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite._

_Today I’ve got news that will shake New York City to its core. Something that will have everyone talking and whispering for ages and it’s about our very own King Louis._

_Earlier today, a very surprising person texted me a tip about him that had me shocked, something that’s hard to do after all the things I’ve heard in my days. But I’m sure I won’t be the only one._

_It looks like Louis isn’t the committed boyfriend we’ve all thought he was. I was told by a trusted source that Louis had his bedroom sheets rumpled by two people recently, and one of them wasn’t his on and off girlfriend, Eleanor.  While I unfortunately didn’t get details about who the other person is, I know the pure, wholesome image Mr. Tomlinson tries to portray isn’t so pure or wholesome. Funnily enough, I can’t help but remember when Louis’ own girlfriend_ and _best friend messed around behind his back. Think this was revenge?_

 _Spotted: Louis Tomlinson looking distressed as he waits for a car on the Upper East Side yesterday. He sure has been_ busy _._

_You know you love me._

_xoxo,_

_Gossip Girl_

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

For majority of Louis’ life, he’d been talked about. Sometimes it was mundane as what he was wearing, other times it was a bit more juicy, like arguments with Zayn or who he was dating. So, Louis was used to it. He was attuned to knowing when it was happening online and off. There were times when it was boring and he just ignored it, but there were other times when he enjoyed it, relished the attention.

Today, it was neither.

When Louis stepped out of his class and walked out toward the entrance of the school, he immediately knew that something had happened. Every single eye in the courtyard was on him and every single person was holding onto their phone. It was a Gossip Girl blast, that much was clear, but Louis didn’t get an alert. That was when he realized he’d had his phone off because they’d just taken a pop quiz.

Quickly, Louis turned his phone back on and it was immediately flooded with messages, mostly from Calvin and Oli. There were a few missed calls from Eleanor and then a lone Gossip Girl blast. Louis took a deep breath and clicked on it.

As he scanned the words, he felt his heart drop to his stomach. He read it again and again, trying to understand how this had happened. He thought he was done with this. He was turning a new leaf. He literally told Harry a mere hour ago that this was over. But he was so naive. Did he really believe it was over? _Of course_ Harry wouldn’t let it go. Of course he’d go and do something reckless.

His heart pounded in his chest as he faced his schoolmates again, all of whom were whispering about him. His cheeks flushed and tears threatened to pool over his eyes as he heard the words _cheater_ , _whore_ , and _nasty_.

Before he did anything more, like fall over and cry, Louis ran. He speedwalked out of the school and quickly called an Uber. He needed to get out of there.

**♥** **Eleanor** **♥**

Eleanor stared at her phone, unable to move or react. She could hear the bell ring faintly, signaling that class would start soon, but she couldn’t look away from her phone. Beside her, Liam started gathering his books into his backpack. They were studying together in the back courtyard, where it was a bit more quiet than the one in the front. Eleanor was starting to like Liam and how genuine he was, though she didn’t tell Louis that.

It seemed, however, that Louis was hiding things from her as well. She had no idea he was involved with someone else, but Gossip Girl got a tip from someone really trustworthy apparently. Eleanor racked her brain, trying to figure out who it could be. Louis wasn’t answering his phone, so she couldn’t ask him directly.

Liam must have noticed Eleanor frozen in her spot and he reached over, shaking her shoulder. “Everything alright?” he asked. She blinked, looking into Liam’s soft, brown eyes. Shaking her head, she showed him the Gossip Girl blast and Liam’s bushy brows furrowed as he read it. “Whoever writes this thing is awful.”

“Do you think they’re telling the truth?” Eleanor asked him.

There was hesitation as Liam went to answer and immediately Eleanor could tell that he knew something. She stood up, getting closer to him. “What? What do you know?”

“I don’t want to get involved,” Liam shook his head. “It’s not my business.”

“I get that. I do,” Eleanor nodded, desperation in her tone. “You’re afraid of Louis, but --”

“I am _not_ afraid of Louis.”

“Then what’s stopping you?” Eleanor questioned. “Please tell me if you know something.”

Liam sighed, looking worn down. “Eleanor, I don’t know.”

“ _Liam_ , I am begging you,” she said, her voice shaking. “If my boyfriend is doing someone behind my back, I deserve to know because God knows, he’s not doing  me.”

She couldn’t believe she was admitting her deepest secret to Liam of all people. What was it with her and spilling her life stories to Brooklyn boys? She was so hurt that Louis would sleep with someone else when he never slept with her. Was something wrong with her? Eleanor was always a bit insecure, and this made it worse.  

“Fine,” Liam eventually said, quietly. “It was Harry.”

Eleanor frowned, wondering if she heard him wrong. “What?”

“Zayn told me that he saw Louis and Harry hooking up in Louis’ bedroom once. He also made me promise not to tell anyone, but obviously, I’ve gone and broken that promise.”

Liam was distressed at the mention of breaking Zayn’s promise, but he also looked concerned, like Eleanor might fall apart any moment. That was exactly what she wanted to do. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the racing thoughts in her head. Turning away from Liam, she started walking away, wondering where she could get some answers.

Harry and Louis _hated_ each other. Why would they sleep together? When did they do it? Why did neither of them tell her anything? Harry had looked her in the face and told her to leave Louis countless times. Why was he trying to come between her and Louis? And -- and if Louis slept with Harry, did that mean that Louis liked guys? Did that mean he never liked -- _loved_ \-- her at all?

She needed to find both of them for all the answers to her questions. Rushing past classmates as they watched her with gleeful, amused eyes, she made her way out to the front courtyard. She couldn’t spot Louis anywhere, but then saw Harry standing outside the school gates. Running angrily down the steps, she approached him with determination.

“You slept with him?” she gritted, shoving him against the wall adjacent to the gates. “You fucking slept with my boyfriend?”

“El,” Harry gulped, eyes wide and fearful, “let me explain.”

“So it’s true?” she demanded. Harry couldn’t even look at her properly, and Eleanor felt her stomach sink. Her hands shook as she tucked her brown strands behind her ear. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you did this to me.”

“There’s more to it than you know,” Harry pleaded. “Who told you it was me?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said to him, tears brimming in her eyes. “You fucking betrayed me. Louis betrayed me. I can’t look either of you in the face anymore. You both humiliated me and I don’t know why. What did you gain from it? As if you aren’t happy enough fucking everything else in sight, you just had to go for my boyfriend?”

Harry glanced both ways before looking back at Eleanor and responding. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe your boyfriend isn’t into girls?”

“Why wouldn’t he just say that to me?” she asked, trying to keep her voice low. People were watching them, eyes wandering and ears perked.

“You have to ask _him_ that. I didn’t force myself on him, Eleanor,” Harry argued. “He was going through a lot and I was there for him.”

“Oh, so you two suddenly care about each other now?”

“As far as I knew, you guys weren’t back together at that point.”

“It was never confirmed,” Eleanor shot back. “We were complicated and there was no closure, but it didn’t take you five minutes to make my boyfriend start questioning his sexuality.”

“Maybe the real problem is that you can’t see what’s right in front of you,” Harry said to her.

“No, the problem is that I trusted you and Louis,” she said, tears spilling over her eyes. “I don’t want anything to do with either of you. We’re done.”

“El --”

“Don’t talk to me,” she said, backing away and wiping her eyes. She quickly made her way down the block, hailing a cab and getting inside. She had the driver stop outside Louis’ apartment and handed him a couple of bills before getting out.

Upon reaching Louis’ floor, she found him sitting in the living room, staring at his phone with a blank expression on his face. He looked up when he heard her walk toward him, immediately standing up. “El, I can explain,” he started to say.

“Don’t,” she stopped him, holding up her hand. “I already heard the same bullshit from Harry.”

Louis blanched. “You -- you know it was Harry?”

“Yes,” she said. “Why? Were you going to try and hide that? Why are you so insistent on keeping secrets from me, Louis? We grew up together. I thought I could trust you.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, running a hand over his face. “Things have just been so confusing lately and the thing with Harry just kind of happened. I swear, I didn’t do this to hurt you.”

“Well, I’m hurt, Lou. I’m fucking devastated. What’s worse is that I had to hear it from Liam. Neither you nor Harry had the fucking guts to come up to me and tell me the truth.”

“Your first instinct shouldn’t have been to ask Liam. You should have asked me!” Louis said, coming closer to her, but Eleanor moved back. The flurry of emotions coursing through her was making her dizzy and suddenly she didn’t want to be here anymore. She looked at Louis once more, trying to think of anything more she could say to the boy  she had thought was her forever.

“I just want to know,” she said slowly. “Do you love me or not? For real, Louis.”

Louis hesitated for a moment, then shook his head. “I love you as my best friend, but I’m not in love with you. I’m so sorry, El.”

She nodded, letting tears fall from her eyes. “Okay. That’s all I needed to know. I want whatever this was between us to end for good now, okay? And I don’t know when I’ll be okay with you again, but I need space and I need closure. Can you give me that?”

“Of course,” Louis said, quietly.

“I hope you figure out whatever it is that you’re confused about,” she said before finally walking to the elevator.

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

_Come to my place!! It’s urgent_

Louis was pacing his living room when Zayn arrived. He didn’t waste any time, rushing through the elevator doors and running toward Louis 15 minutes later. “What’s wrong?” he asked, out of breath. “What happened?”

“What happened is that I can’t believe you fucking told Liam that I slept with Harry!” Louis shouted. “What the fuck, Zayn?”

Zayn dropped his bag on the floor with a soft thud. “I’m so confused.”

Louis crossed his arms, trying to remain calm. “Gossip Girl sent out a blast about me cheating on Eleanor and your big mouth friend went and told her that I slept with Harry. Now everyone’s talking about my sex life and Eleanor wants nothing to do with me. She won’t even speak to me.”

“Lou, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

“No, you’re not,” Louis scoffed. “You just had to go and tell your low-rent new bestie and ruin everything for me.”

“Why are you blaming Liam for this?” Zayn asked, suddenly looking tired.

“Did you or did you not tell him? I want to hear you say it.”

“Fine, I did,” Zayn admitted. “I told Liam, but only because I wanted advice on how to help you figure things out since you clearly weren’t dealing with it.”

Louis groaned out loud, stopping in front of Zayn. “Don’t you get it? The rules are different for the Zayn Malik’s of the world. People literally expect you to be wild, to party, sleep with whoever you want, run away, come back! You shot your reputation down to hell a long time ago. It literally doesn’t matter what you do, but I’m a fucking Tomlinson!”

“Are you really going to go there?” Zayn argued. “Well, if you and your reputation don’t need me and my low-rent taste, then you and your name can weather this storm alone.”

“With pleasure!” Louis yelled at him.

Zayn glared at him one last time and then turned on his heel, walking back to the lifts. Louis wanted to rip his own hair out from how frustrated and angry he was. He felt so utterly broken down and he didn’t know where to start fixing it. For one, he felt like shit because of how hurt Eleanor was. She didn’t deserve any of this. On the other side, though, neither did he. He didn’t sleep with Eleanor and then Harry, or vice versa. He slept with Harry when he and Eleanor were on a break. Things were complicated between them on and off for the past few months.

Now, he was wondering who else knew about Harry and him. He was so paranoid that word might be  spreading all over the city. There was no way in hell he was going to be able to live this down in school. Reaching for his phone, he pulled up Gossip Girl’s website, where people could comment on her posts. Opening up the most recent one, he read through some of them.

**Kayla001:** _guess the self-righteous bastard who sat on his own high horse and judged others isn’t as perfect as he pretends to be._

**GrimwaldJon:** _Fucking hypocrite!_

**KyleU:** _Did anyone else witness Eleanor and Harry having a fight outside of school? No doubt Louis slept with Harry. Guess he’s a gay hypocrite_

**natnat:** _i was there! I heard eleanor tell harry off for sleeping with louis. It was Epic. #teameleanor_

**Oli:** _The best friend and the girlfriend. Classy!_

**CalvinRodgers:** _Honestly, he’s the worst. He should consider himself dethroned because after this, no one will like him._

Not being able to take anymore, Louis threw his phone across the room with a soft whimper. He felt tears blurring his vision and let himself sink down on the floor. Wiping at his face, he tried to control himself. He didn’t cry, not usually, but he felt so alone. Not only did Eleanor want nothing to do with him, but now he’d lost his friends. His mind flashed back to the last couple weeks, replaying everything hefucked up, and trying to remember why at the time he’d thought it’d be fine to just go through with it.

There was one person who he hadn’t heard from during this entire thing -- Harry. Immediately, Louis knew that was off. Harry should have been at his doorstep, ready to swoop in now that Eleanor was clearly out of the picture. Wasn’t that what he wanted all along? It was why he sent that tip to Gossip Girl in the first place.

Wiping his tears away one last time, Louis crawled over to get his phone and pulled up Gossip Girl’s site. Harry’s last update indicated he was at a bar not too far from where Louis lived. Quickly grabbing his jacket, Louis walked downstairs and  called for an Uber. When he arrived at the bar, he saw Harry through the window, sitting right by the door all alone with his school uniform still on. Going inside, he approached the bar and sat on the stool beside Harry. Harry glanced up at him, eyebrow raised in question.

“Haven’t heard from you,” Louis said quietly. “Thought I’d come by to congratulate you.”

“About what?” Harry asked, playing dumb. He sipped from his glass, drinking the remains of whatever poison he chose tonight. The moment he put down his glass, the bartender came with a refill, not even batting an eye at the fact that they were underaged.

“You ruined my relationship with Eleanor, Zayn is disgusted by me, and now all my friends hate me,” Louis told him, a defeated edge to his voice. “Isn’t that what you wanted? Now I have no one but you.”

“Actually...you don’t even have me.”

Louis felt his heart stutter as he blinked at Harry slowly. “What?”

“Let me lay it down for you, Louis,” Harry drawled out, voice slow as molasses. “Yes, you held a certain fascination, but back then you were beautiful to me. There was something about you I couldn’t shake off, but now I see you for who you truly are. You’re pathetic. You’re a liar, a user, and a fucking coward.”

“Enough,” Louis whispered, eyes burning.

“I don’t want you anymore,” Harry continued, despite Louis’ plea, “and I don’t see why anyone else would.”

Those words felt like bricks being thrown at him. Louis flinched, painfully, before trying to school his expression. How stupid of him to turn to Harry when Harry was the one who ruined him. Louis stood up from his stool, shakily walking out the door with the little dignity he had left.

When he arrived back home again, Anastasia was in the sitting room, going through some mail. She smiled when she saw him. “Everything alright?” she asked.

Upon hearing her ask that, the dam broke. Louis near crumpled to the ground, but managed to make it to Anastasia before doing so. He sat by her feet, crying into her lap, while she tried to console him, asking what was wrong. But Louis couldn’t speak. He didn’t know where to begin, so he cried. He just didn’t know how he was meant to continue when he felt like he had nothing left.

What if he were to escape all this and not deal with it at all? Peering up into his mom’s blue eyes, he asked, “Would it be possible to go abroad for the rest of the semester? Didn’t Walter say his family had a place in Paris, Mom? Maybe he’ll let me stay there.”

Walter wasn’t necessarily back in their lives, but he did pop in from time to time to check in on the kids. He was always trying to make up with Louis as well, trying to get on his good side. Louis could play along and use him for the apartment in Paris so  he could go away for a while.

Anastasia shook her head. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, Louis.”

“Mom, please. Please call and make the arrangements,” he begged, crying again.

“Louis --”

“Mom, I’m asking you to please help me.”

At that, she softened, nodding her head. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”

Louis sighed, relieved. “Thank you.” In those moments as her eyes searched his, he could tell she somewhat figured out that this was serious. Things were a lot different than when she was his age and growing up in the city. The drama and the scandal were all the same, but with the digital age, it became a lot harder. They eventually got up and retired to their bedrooms, limbs and eyes heavy from the long day. The minute Louis’ head hit the pillow, he was asleep.

The following morning, he had all of his things packed. It only took a minute to convince Walter to let Louis stay in his apartment in Paris and it took another five minutes to get him an interview with the headmaster at a top school there. Louis’ bags were packed and he was sitting in his room, looking everything over when a knock sounded.

“Come in.”

Zayn’s head tentatively popped in, looking at Louis with wary eyes. “Hey,” he said, letting himself in and closing the door behind him.

“Hi,” Louis replied, sitting down on his chaise. Zayn walked over, sitting beside him. “What are you doing here?”

“Your mom called me. Told me you were leaving.”

“Oh. I don’t know why she did that. I didn’t really tell her about what happened yesterday between us.”

“Louis,” Zayn sighed. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Look, I don’t need you to sit here and lecture me. You don’t know what I’m going through,” Louis countered back.

“I know how you felt when I left without telling you. I know...what it’s like to run away and want to escape this world we live in. But you shouldn’t run away because of something so stupid, though. Please stay, Lou.”

“I don’t know if I can,” he admitted softly. “It feels like my whole world is falling apart.”

“So rebuild it,” Zayn said. “You’re a fucking Tomlinson, remember? People don’t tell you who you are. You tell them. I know you’re stronger than this. You’re the strongest person I know. So stay and fight. I’ll be right there next to you.”

Louis’ lips trembled, tears streaming down his face. He sobbed, letting Zayn’s words sink in while Zayn stroked his back. “I’m just so embarrassed, you know? I don’t know what to do.”

“You can make it through this, Louis. I know you can. It can be done...I should know. We’ll get through this together.”

“You promise?” Louis asked, looking at Zayn.

“Promise,” Zayn said. “You’re always going to have me. No matter what you say, how much you push, I’m always going to be here.”

Zayn pulled him in for a hug and Louis let himself cry a little more. With Zayn by his side, it didn’t seem as scary anymore. Louis wasn’t going to run away. Not from this scandal, or people’s words. He was going to try and be a better person, not just for himself, but those around him. First, he had to start being honest.

**♥** **Harry** **♥**

The limo came to a halt in front of St. Jude’s and Harry made a move to get out when his father cleared his throat. For some reason, Bart had insisted on accompanying Harry to school that day, but didn’t speak a word the entire ride. Harry looked at him, eyebrows raised. “I guess I’ll see you?” he asked.

“I wanted to have a word before you went,” Bart said.

“You couldn’t have done so on the ten minute ride here?”

“I was catching up on emails, Harry. Don’t be a nuisance. Now, I wanted to talk to you about your recent behavior.”

Harry rolled his eyes. It made him laugh when his father tried to parent him, but he let it happen. He always needed a good laugh now and then. “Okay. What about it?”

“I received a bill from your room service at the Empire,” Bart said. “Thousands of dollars on booze, call girls, and what not. Not to mention the impromptu trips to Ibiza, Maldives, and LA, all in the last two weeks. I don’t understand when you have time to do the schoolwork you keep telling me you have under control when you’re partying this hard.”

Well, Harry couldn’t argue with that. Without the distraction of Louis in bed and the companionship of Eleanor, Harry started getting a little bored. So he resorted to partying. Sometimes  in his apartment and other times in another city so  he could experience the same parties in a different setting. So he liked to have a good time. What was wrong with that? But he didn’t voice that to Bart, instead pretending to look enthralled with the crowds of students outside.

“Your club is going well, you know?” Bart continued. “And I know you’ve been itching to have more control over it since I’ve taken over in terms of finance. But unless you show me some real progress and growth, you can forget about that.”

“Are you serious?” Harry questioned, leaning forward. “That club is mine. It’s entirely done by me, but you’re going to try to control me through that because you pay for it?”

“I pay for all your bullshit as well. Plus, if you’re good then I’ll consider making you my best man for mine and Clarice’s wedding.”

Harry snorted. “You’re getting married again? When were you going to let me know? After the fact or the day of like last time?”

“Don’t be smart. It’s a few weeks away and I’m strongly considering having one of my assistants be the best man. They’re more useful than you.” Harry tried not to let his words hurt. After all, they were just words, so he stayed quiet. “Now get yourself to class and think about what I’ve said, will you? God knows, you need to do more of that.”

Looking back down at his phone and scrolling through his endless emails, Bart dismissed Harry. He looked at his father with a scowl on his face, but then decided against continuing this unpleasant conversation. Harry opened the car door, seeing himself out, and went off to the back courtyard to smoke the joint in his bag.

**♥** **Zayn** **♥**

Three nights ago during dinner Zayn received a package, beautifully wrapped in gold silk ribbons. He was excited as he opened it in front of his sisters, all of whom were in his room watching the Harry Potter marathon on Freeform. However, when he opened it and found dirty porn magazines and handcuffs, he immediately threw it out. It didn’t occur to him until the following day when he received cases of alcohol under his name delivered to the school that this might be more than a stupid prank. Headmaster Charles called Maryam about it, who had to sit down with Zayn and give him a talking to. He was still recovering from the previous pool party incident.

It all came to a head when Zayn found a small ziplock back of coke slipped into his backpack. Then he was scared. He hadn’t touched that stuff in a long time and even having it in his possession wasn’t good. He’d flushed it down the toilet, of course, but he was constantly checking over his shoulder to see anything out of the ordinary or if some other “gift” was going to pop up.

Arriving home from Liam’s one night, Zayn’s maid handed him a small, gold envelope addressed to him. Zayn stared at it for a long time and then opened it, hands shaking.

_Z,_

_Hope you liked the presents I sent you. Coming back to town soon!_

_N_

With his heart in his throat, Zayn left his apartment and rushed over to the Empire. Harry was the only one who understood. He’d know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another cliffhanger!!!! who is N?! also, took some dialogue right from the show in this one bc it was epic so i had to. it wouldn't be proper homage if i didn't tbh
> 
> [fic post](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/post/161333536170/fic-dont-you-think-that-its-boring-how-people) / [fic page](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/ggau) / [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/123144119/playlist/16fRGD5NIFALexkMrQIUG3)


	9. now playing: “u.r.a. fever” by the kills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: underage drinking, underage drug use, manipulation, mention of murder??, underage mentions of possible sex lmao

**Gossip Girl Blast #2487**

_Hey Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite._

_It’s officially that time. The time for us to take the SATs -- the test that is said to play a big part in our college acceptance. I’m sure we’re all cramming and crying, hoping to somehow get a score that’s moderately decent enough for us to get into our top Ivy League choices. But I’m sure there will be some people who’ll find a way to not take it at all. AhemHarryStylesAhem._

_Spotted: Brooklyn Boy headed to Z’s place to study together. How pure! But does Liam know what’s troubling his bestie? Word on the street is, he’s been a real headcase lately. What’s bothering you, Z? Something we should know?_

_You know you love me._

_xoxo,_

_Gossip Girl_

**♥** **Zayn** **♥**

“Quiz me again on these flashcards,” Louis requested, handing over his vocabulary deck to Zayn. Zayn begrudgingly took it, flipping through them before putting them down on the granite table.

“We went through this deck three times in the last hour,” Zayn complained, turning back to his own books.

“I need this information embedded into my brain, Z,” Louis groaned. “Please.”

Having Louis whine and bitch beside him was the last thing Zayn needed. Ever since he started getting those mystery gifts, he’d been on edge, and he didn’t need Louis to put him in an even worse mood. But...he could understand the stress of the looming exam, so he picked up the deck of cards again and started going through them. Halfway through, Louis’ eyes wandered somewhere behind Zayn in the school courtyard. He saw something, or someone, and his eyes clouded over. Before Zayn knew it, Louis grabbed the cards from Zayn’s grasp and put them in his bag.

“I’ll see you later,” he said.

Zayn watched him, dumbfounded, while Louis grabbed his things and briskly walked away. When Harry sat down at the table, smelling like smoke, it made sense why. “Is Louis scared of me or something?” Harry asked, placing his phone down on the table.

“Of course not,” Zayn said. “He just doesn’t like you right now.”

“Huh.”

“I mean, I don’t blame him, but eventually the two of you will have to work out your issues,” he said, looking at his notes again.

“Issues?” Harry placed a hand over his chest. “I don’t have any issues. And based off the research I’ve done, you’ll be happy to know that you don’t either.”

Zayn glanced up at him from his books. “Are you talking about Niall?”

It was him that was sending Zayn all those packages, after all. Niall Horan used to be someone very close to Zayn until some events made him realize that he couldn’t be around someone like Niall. With Niall proposing a comeback, Zayn needed to make sure he was as far away from him as possible.

“According to my many reliable sources,” Harry began, “Niall Horan is nowhere near our city. In fact, I was told he’s been living in London, dating a duchess from the Mountbatten family.”

“You’re kidding,” Zayn guffawed, running a hand through his dark hair. It didn’t seem all that far-fetched. Niall was a fan of foreign girls. There was one time he and Zayn flew to Switzerland and partied for days and Niall somehow managed to have multiple affairs. But if Niall was all the way across the pond, then that was good news for Zayn.

“I’m not,” Harry shook his head, stuffing his hands in his Burberry bomber jacket and leaning forward onto the table. “So you’re free to relax, maybe even enjoy the gifts he sent you.”

“Not likely.”

“Niall always brought out the devil in you, Z. And there’s a little bored part of me that’s disappointed he’s not actually here. Would be fun to see what you two got up to. It’s been a while since we’ve seen the Old Zayn.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not that person anymore,” Zayn reminded Harry. “And because of that person, now I have to crack a killer score on the SATs because I did so little shit in high school the last two years, so please leave me to study and go smarm somewhere else.”

Harry rolled his eyes, standing up. “Don’t know why any of you are bothering to do this. I’ve got a few people in my contacts if you need someone to take it for you with a fake ID. I’ve already got myself sorted out.”

“I’m good, H. I’m not really in the mood to cheat. Thanks for the offer, though.”

“If you say so,” Harry shrugged, sauntering off down the hall.

Zayn resumed his study session until the bell rang and then he headed off to class. Once school let out, he was standing in the courtyard, having a smoke, when he noticed a few girls from Constance taking his picture and giggling. They had to be freshmen from how young they looked. Zayn opted to ignore them and continued to smoke, scrolling through his phone. He wasn’t in the mood to go home, but he also didn’t know what he wanted to do. Both Louis and Liam were studying, so neither would want to meet up.

“Looks like you never outgrew that stormy, smoldering look,” he heard from his peripheral. Zayn turned at the familiar voice and his eyes rounded in shock.

There he was -- Zayn’s worst nightmare. Standing there in an outfit from Lanvin’s latest collection, Niall looked nothing short of expensive, good looking, and trouble. “Niall,” Zayn gulped as the other boy walked over. The sound of giggles and camera shutters seemed to grow, those girls no doubt taking pictures of them. Zayn wanted to scream, but instead took a deep breath. “What are you doing here?”

“I told you I was coming,” Niall said, air of nonchalance. “Sent you gifts and a note.”

“I know, I got them,” Zayn nodded. “I just -- I heard you were in London.”

“That was yesterday’s news,” Niall laughed. “What’s going on? Haven’t you missed me, Z?”

Zayn could go two ways with this. He could spill his real feelings and tell Niall he wanted to leave their life together behind him, or he could play along. And Zayn knew better than anyone that everyone should just play along when it came to Niall. There was no telling how Niall could use your real feelings against you. Zayn smiled as genuinely as he could. “Well, truthfully, how could I not?”

“I mean, you could be a bit more excited,” Niall laughed. “It’s fine, though. I caught you by surprise, so no worries. Let’s catch up, though. We should get drinks tonight.”

Zayn would rather go to New Jersey before he did any of that and he _hated_ New Jersey. He hesitated in answering, but Niall always knew how to push him.

He gave Zayn a knowing look, eyebrows tilted up and lips turned down. “Z, come on. You’re breaking my heart and upsetting me, and you know how I get when I’m upset.”

Fuck. He really did. He forced a smile on his face. “Alright. Drinks sound good.”

“Fantastic! I’ll see you then,” Niall grinned. “God, it’s so good to be back. Almost like I never left.”

With that, he walked off toward the black car waiting around the corner. Zayn stubbed his cigarette on the ground and went the other way, his stomach in knots.

 **♥** **Eleanor** **♥**

Eleanor stepped out of her Uber, glancing around the unfamiliar streets of Brooklyn. She’d texted Liam to ask where he was and he gave her this address, but it didn’t appear to be his house. It was rows and rows of restaurants, cafes, and a cat cafe that actually seemed kind of cool. She pulled her phone out, opening Liam’s text to check the address again. After confirming, she realized he was in the small cafe called Helvetica (wasn’t that a font?).

Walking inside, she breathed in the smell of freshly brewed coffee, doughnuts, and the soil of potted plants. This wasn’t usually her scene, but it was cute. Glancing around the cafe, she spotted Liam in a booth toward back. Eleanor walked over, ignoring the curious looks she got from the other locals, probably for her Valentino jacket and Chanel bag. That didn’t really seem to be the norm around here.

“Hey Liam,” Eleanor announced herself.

The brown eyed boy turned and smiled at her. “Hi El. You got your tests?”

Eleanor nodded when she noticed Max was sitting with Liam as well. He had his own laptop out, appearing to be doing some footage editing. He looked at her and smiled, casually. “Oh, hey.”

“Hi,” she greeted. “You guys hanging out?”

“I’m studying,” Liam clarified. “Max is working on some of his videos. Do you want a cup of coffee or anything? My friend’s the barista and he’s really good.”

“Oh, that’d be great. I take mine black with two sugars,” Eleanor said, taking a seat with them. She pulled out her SAT practice tests while Liam went over to the counter.

Max eyed the papers. “What’s that?”

“Liam has been tutoring me for the SATs and I did some practice tests, so I came to drop them off so he could grade,” Eleanor explained. Max hummed, turning back to his laptop, which allowed Eleanor to admire his easygoing nature and style. She couldn’t drop any names for the brand of clothing he was wearing, but the dark jeans and fitted t-shirt was doing him wonders anyway.

Her thoughts drifted back to the night they’d spent together at the park when she’d poured her heart out to him. So much had changed since then. She was completely confused and left in the dark at the time. Now, things were clearer and different. Eleanor didn’t talk to Louis or Harry anymore, leaving her with very few friends. The only ones who gave her any time was Liam, and Zayn, but rarely, because he was very loyal to Louis.

However, unlike Louis, Eleanor didn’t sneer at the sight of anyone who was lower in class than they were. Liam was such a genuinely good person that befriending him was easy. It shocked Eleanor how easily he’d agreed to tutoring her. He wouldn’t even take the payment she’d offered in return for it at first, but after some coaxing, he said okay. Perhaps Eleanor could hang out here more often. Just driving away from the city felt so relaxing, like she didn’t have to constantly watch her back for people taking her picture and talking about her.

In Brooklyn, things were quiet, but lively in their own way.

After Liam returned, he placed Eleanor’s coffee cup in front of her with a small lemon cake beside it. Then he got to work on grading her tests, and somehow she ended up staying the whole day with them without realizing any time was passing by at all.

 **♥** **Zayn** **♥**

It had only been twenty minutes since Zayn sat down with Niall at a bar on the Lower East Side, both perched at a table with drinks laid out in front of them. Niall kept pushing Zayn to order something alcoholic, clearly wanting to get him drunk, and Zayn was so over it. He ordered a diet coke instead. “Look, Niall,” he said after the bartender left. “It’s been a while since you’ve been here and I’m not the same person.”

“I’ve heard,” Niall said, smirking. He took a sip from his drink, sucking the straw between his lips. “I’ve kept up with Gossip Girl, you know.”

“Then why did you send me all those things? The sex toys and the --,” Zayn lowered his voice, “the coke.”

“Z, please,” Niall chuckled, “I was only trying to have fun and make you laugh.”

His blue eyes got all soft and puppy like, and Zayn felt himself easing up. “Alright. I believe you.”

“I know now not to do that, but like, c’mon. It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other and I just want to have fun with you, like old times. Except, this time I won’t get out of control, unless you really want me to.” Niall waggled his eyebrows. “Do you want me to?”

Zayn shook his head disapprovingly, despite the smile on his face.

“See, I won’t get out of control since you asked. But can’t we just have fun? Please? Have a cocktail with me.”

“Fine,” Zayn finally relented. One drink couldn’t hurt. Niall did always have a way of talking Zayn into doing anything.

\--

One drink turned into several and after three hours, Zayn found himself disoriented on the pavement outside, gasping for breath. It was fine, really. Everything was going fine and they were having fun, reminiscing about all the dumb shit they used to do when they partied together, but then Niall’s dealer showed up, and Zayn knew. He knew that Niall was the exact same troubled person he’d always been.

So Zayn ran. He couldn’t be around that stuff. It triggered so many awful memories and drew him back in to an awful place. Reaching for his phone with shaky hands, Zayn called Harry, who picked up after three rings.

“How could I be of service tonight, Zaynie?” said that familiar drawl.

“I need help,” Zayn mumbled, words slurring. “I need help. I need to get out of here.”

“What happened?” Harry asked, sounding a lot more concerned this time around.

“Niall happened. He brought me out for drinks and he wanted to hang out,have fun. Then his dealer showed up. I was supposed to be with Liam by now to study, but I told him that I got held up.”

“Could have just told him the truth. That you were out with your old pal, Nialler.”

“No, absolutely not,” Zayn shook his head. “I cannot have Liam know that Niall exists or that he’s a part of my past. He already knows so much, but this could really change his perception of me. I mean, no one can stand Niall. Not Louis, my mom, my sisters, not even you.”

“Don’t worry,” Harry said then. “I’ll come get you in ten. Just share your location with me.”

“Thanks, H,” Zayn sighed in relief, ending the call and going to his messages. After he shared his location, Zayn found himself hunched over, throwing up everything he drank.

 **♥** **Louis** **♥**

Warm, wet lips wrapped around Louis’ cock, slowly taking him in. He gazed down at the guy on his knees in front of him, the way he had his eyes closed, giving his all into the blowjob. But Louis couldn’t help but be hyper aware of the fact that there were other people in the bathroom as well, meaning this random guy - Luke - and Louis weren’t alone, despite being in a private stall. Louis’ eyes flickered around, making note of every noise. He was pretty sure someone else was getting sucked off a few stalls over if the moaning was anything to go by.

God, this gay club may have been in midtown, but the level of class here sure wasn’t anything to note. Not that Louis could say much. He did agree to come into the bathroom with this guy after thirty minutes of filthy dancing to Rihanna. He was kind of cute. He had dark, short hair, shaved around the sides with the top quiffed up. Louis was almost 50% sure he had brown eyes? But he wasn’t going to place bets on it.

Really, Louis should have been home studying for the SATs. He just couldn’t concentrate - he was horny and frustrated, in need of some release. His right hand was only doing so much for him since Harry left the picture. And there was no way in actual hell Louis was going back to Harry for any help with this. So he came down to Vodka Sodas & Bottoms Up. It was far away from school and Louis’ friends, so it was unlikely to end up on Gossip Girl.

Curiosity brought him here more than anything else. The only guy he’d ever been with was Harry. He was hoping this would help him sort out what he liked.

Louis was enjoying the blowjob, don’t get him wrong. The guy had a great tongue technique and he could really take Louis down. But Louis still found himself a bit distracted and bored. Trying to shake off his nerves, he closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall of the stall. He pictured him and this guy alone, trying to get back in the mood. But then Louis started to forget the details of this guy and his weird haircut and brown eyes. It was replaced with curly brown hair and forest green eyes. Suddenly, in Louis’ head, it wasn’t Luke sucking him off.

It was Harry.

Harry, who had the most perfectly plush, pink lips that really knew how to work Louis into an orgasm. Harry, who fondled Louis’ balls and pressed his finger against his rim until he was shaking and coming in Harry’s mouth. The more Louis thought about this, the more he felt himself edging closer and closer until he finally came.

“ _Harry_ ,” he moaned out, hips shaking and thrusting into the mouth.

When he opened his eyes, he hazily watched Luke stand up, wiping at his mouth as he looked at Louis. “Next time, try not to say someone else’s name when you’re being sucked off.”

Crap. Louis avoided eye contact and looked down at the floor. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

Luke left, stopping at the sink to freshen up, but Louis let himself hang back. He adjusted himself back into his jeans and ran a hand through his hair. He liked Luke. He was hard the moment Luke touched him, crowding him into the stall and kissing down his neck. But it took remembering Harry to come, which was bothering Louis. He didn’t want to admit it, but he sort of missed having Harry in his life in any capacity

Too bad all of that had gone to shit.

 **♥** **Zayn** **♥**

Zayn didn’t expect to wake up the way he did on the morning of his SATs.

If all had gone according to plan, he would have woken up in his bed after a nice eight hour sleep. He would have gotten up, showered, dressed, and had a big breakfast before taking the car to the test center with all of his supplies in order.

Instead, he was lying on a bed that wasn’t his with a naked girl beside him, fast asleep. There were alcohol bottles and clothes strewn all over the ground. And he had a pounding headache, sharp and dizzying, making him want to close his eyes and drift off so that he didn’t have to think about whatever the fuck went down. He knew he couldn’t. He had to get to the test center so he rolled out of the bed, looking for his clothes. He was too scared to look at the time, choosing to take this one step at a time.

As Zayn put his boxers one and searched for his jeans, Niall strolled into the room, looking freshly showered and much better than Zayn imagined he himself did. “What happened last night?” Zayn asked, still searching for his clothes. “How did we get here? We were having dinner. I was only supposed to stay an hour and then go home to study.”

Niall looked aloof, placing his hands over his hips. “You don’t remember, Z?”

“No,” Zayn moaned, running a hand through his hair, frustrated and in pain. He finally braved a peek at the clock on the bedside table and he let out a shuddering breath. It was 8:45. He was supposed to have been at Hunter College fifteen minutes ago, ready and prepared. “I need to go. I’m gonna be late for my test.”

He finally found his t-shirt and jacket. Niall let out a titter of a laugh, watching Zayn get dressed. “I doubt they’ll let you in anymore, Z. No worries, though. I’ll order eggs. Should I get some for your lady friend as well? I’m feeling Florentine, but I know you’ll want Benedict.”

“I need to go take my exam, Niall,” Zayn huffed, putting his jeans on. He knew Niall meant well, but he just didn’t get it. Niall never really cared about college. When he graduated last year from St. Jude’s, he went off to do whatever he wanted with all the money he had. He didn’t take the SATs nor did he apply to any colleges.

They were bonding really well last night, Zayn remembered that. Niall pleaded for a second chance after the fiasco from the other night and Zayn relented. They were having strictly diet coke with their entrees at a French restaurant and everything was fine. So what happened? “N, I was drinking soda last night, how did this happen?” Zayn asked.

“Yeah, you were. Then you switched to vodka.”

“Okay, but then it should have been your responsibility to stop me because you knew I had my exam this morning. I told you again and again,” Zayn flared up, standing so he was facing Niall.

“My responsibility was to make sure you didn’t die. And you didn’t, so you’re welcome,” Niall scoffed. “Even called Maryam to let her know her son was fine and that he wouldn’t be coming home.”

God, Zayn was so stupid. He was unbelievably thick to believe that Niall would ever point Zayn in the right direction like his new friends would have. Niall was never that friend. Niall was always just a party friend.

“As far as I remember, you had fun,” Niall said, glancing over at the sleeping girl in the bed. “A lot of fun, based off last night in this hotel room. The best was when you got into the DJ both at Marquee and started spinning tracks with the mustache guy.”

“What mustache guy?” Zayn said. “I don’t remember anything, Niall.”

Niall smiled, innocently. “Guess you haven’t changed as much as you think you have, Z. All that talk last night at dinner about turning over a new leaf, setting new goals, and living life right. Short-lived, huh?”

Nausea filled Zayn and he wanted to give up as he watched Niall stroll out into the sitting room with his phone. But Zayn was still in panic mode and he was sure he could make it to Hunter. The test didn’t begin till 9 and he just needed a cab. As Zayn rushed out of the hotel room, he called Harry for backup. If anyone knew how to stall time and create a distraction, it was him.

 **♥** **Liam** **♥**

Liam was pacing the front lobby of Hunter College while Louis was glued to his phone a few feet away. Kids were leaving the college, having just taken their SATs with Louis and Liam. But Zayn never showed and both Louis and Liam were worried. Louis put his phone down and  Liam knew that Zayn was still unreachable.

“It’s going straight to voicemail now,” Louis informed him, walking up to Liam. He wasn’t sure when Louis decided Liam was cool enough to talk to, let alone stand beside, but he wasn’t going to question it. He supposed when it came to Zayn, Louis was always going to forget his pride and do what he thought was best.

“I wonder what happened,” Liam said for what felt like the hundredth time.

Louis nodded in agreement and the two looked out onto the street, hoping for any sign of Zayn. A black car pulled up across the street and Liam held his breath, wondering if it would be Zayn. It wasn’t, but what he did see was Eleanor walking up the path and Max coming from the other end. The two of them leaned in and hugged, intimate and warm, and Liam’s brows raised nearly up to his hairline. When did that develop? He glanced at Louis to find a similar shocked expression on his face.

“Wow,” Liam couldn’t help but say.

“Wow, indeed,” Louis muttered. “Anyway, I’m off. I’ll let you know if I hear anything. I would stay and wait a bit more, but I’ve got plans.”

“Yeah, no worries. I’ll let you know if I hear something,” Liam said to him.

Louis gave him a comforting smile before walking up to a black car of his own, leaving Liam to himself. He looked down at his phone one more time to check if Zayn got back to his many calls or texts, but the only notification Liam had was from his mom asking how the test went and that she had lunch ready at home. Admitting defeat as well, Liam walked toward the F train, headed home.

 **♥** **Zayn** **♥**

“What does Niall have on you?” Harry asked.

Zayn, who was buried deep under his blankets on his bed, looked at Harry with a deadpan expression. He didn’t make it to the SATs. He was five minutes too late thanks to fucking traffic, but Harry found a sit in for him, a guy who was looking to make extra cash and scored a 1500 on his own SATs last month. Zayn didn’t want to know how Harry managed to set that up for him, but he was grateful and he was tired. He came home and showered before changing into his pajamas and getting into bed. Harry arrived not too long after, sitting in the lounge chair across from Zayn’s bed.

“What do you mean?” Zayn asked, though the question was crystal clear.

“You’re dodging,” Harry chuckled. “What’s so bad that you can’t even tell me?”

Zayn averted his gaze, looking out the window at the skyscrapers instead. He knew he could trust him. Harry wouldn’t tell anyone, but Harry was also slimy. He could hold it over Zayn’s head forever and blackmail him, which Zayn wasn’t very inclined to subject himself to. Then again, he wasn’t sure he could admit what he did to anyone. It was bad enough that Niall knew. “I don’t want to talk about,” Zayn deflected.

“Fine,” Harry said, sighing. “I figured. But at least go and find out the truth about last night from him. He’s leaving today.”

“Not worth it.”

“I don’t know about you,” Harry said standing up from his seat. “But I don’t let people like that walk all over me. You’re Zayn fucking Malik and this is your city. Niall left a long time ago and he’s irrelevant now. Are you really going to let him come back and push you around like this? Go and claim what’s yours and stand up for yourself. Besides...I highly doubt you decided to switch from diet coke to vodka and wouldn’t remember why you did that.”

Zayn let Harry’s words sink in as the other boy left, contemplating whether it could be true. Did Niall have a hand in Zayn losing control last night? Zayn wasn’t sure if he wanted to accuse anyone without solid proof, but he did know that since Niall came back, everything started going to shit. Drinking, partying, sleeping with girls whose names he didn’t know. Those were all things he used to do, and he refused to just let it slide. He’d made such progress. He wasn’t going to let Niall think he could just waltz in and do what he wanted.

Getting out of bed, Zayn quickly changed and ordered an Uber. Within minutes, he was in the car and en route to Niall’s hotel. Upon reaching his floor, he knocked on the door. Niall opened it dressed in dark washed jeans and an expensive looking Gucci shirt with his bomber jacket on top.

He grinned at Zayn as he lifted up his sunglasses to flash his bright blue eyes at him. “Hey, Z. Here to see me off? I have a few hours to chill. We could order room --”

“No,” Zayn interrupted. “I’m here to tell you that I don’t want you to ever contact me again.”

Niall let out a disbelieving scoff at Zayn’s harsh words and crossed his arms, defensively. “Why? Had too much fun?”

“Quite the contrary, Ni. It isn’t fun to wake up and not know where I am anymore. It’s not fun to miss out on important things like the SATs. I don’t know what happened last night, but all I know is I make huge mistakes when I’m with you.”

“Which mistake are we talking about now? You keep saying you want to distance yourself from the mistakes you made, but I’m a little lost. Was it last night or was it --”

“This is not about last year, Niall,” Zayn shouted, walking into the room until he was chest to chest with him, heaving with anger. “This is about last night and not knowing what the fuck happened that made me royally screw up.”

“You screwing up is not my fault,” Niall spat, shoving Zayn. “So don’t go throwing blame. You made choices last night and you made choices last year. This is as much you as it is me. You’re such a joke, parading around here like you’re some angel. Like you were some innocent bystander and didn’t do any harm --”

“I am _not_ talking about last year, okay?”

“Oh, but I am,” Niall rounded at him, a devilish smirk forming on his lips.

Zayn glowered, eyes blazing as he dropped the volume of his voice. “No, you’re not. If I go down, N, then you go down with me. And in the meantime, stay the fuck out of my life.”

He turned around, walking out of the hotel room and down the to lobby, his heart pounding against his chest. He was nauseous again and wished he could just throw up so he’d stop feeling this sick and this awful. But he knew throwing up wasn’t going to take away the horrid feeling in him. Zayn had done all he could to run away from the truth. Now, he was starting to realize that truth always had a way of catching up.

Blinking back tears, he found himself ordering an Uber to Louis’. He needed his best friend - he needed to tell someone trustworthy about last year before it spilled out to the wrong person. Zayn wanted the truth to set him free, but he knew that this truth was probably going to lock him away forever.

By the time Zayn made it to Louis’, it was late. He asked the doorman to let Louis know he was arriving, and he’d cried himself all the way up to Louis’ floor. The elevator doors opened and blue, concerned eyes met Zayn’s weepy, brown ones and he found himself crying harder. Louis quickly grabbed hold of him, bringing him close for a hug.

“Z,” Louis cooed into his ear. “What’s going on? It’s late and you’re crying. You’re worrying me.”

Zayn had come here to admit to what he’d done, but the words just wouldn’t come out. He was so afraid. “I can’t tell you,” he sobbed, letting his head fall into the crook of Louis’ neck. “This is the one thing I can’t tell you. I can’t tell anyone, Lou.”

“I’m not just anyone, though. I’m Louis. I’m _your_ Louis. And you can tell me anything.”

“No, no, I can’t,” Zayn sniffled. “Because if I do, then you’ll be a part of it. And you can’t. You can’t be a part of this.”

“What are you talking about?” Louis asked, wiping at Zayn’s eyes. “Z, you’re my brother. We are family, right? What is you, is me. There is nothing that you can say that will make me ever not want to support or love you.”

Zayn peered up at Louis, his words bringing about a fresh load of tears. He was still hesitating.

“Z, come on. What is it? I love you. You can tell me.”

Zayn felt goosebumps rise on his skin as he finally looked at Louis properly. He gulped and said, “I killed someone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhh, niall's in the picture now and my sunshine baby is a villain. i love this universe it's so funny. this ch was really more about zayn than anything and i consider it a filler to get the ball rolling for the next course of events. zayn's storyline will play a hand in larry so plz don't think im adding storylines that won't be significant. same goes for eleanor, i really just wanted to give her some closure/plot so she's not wandering lost. what was significant in this ch was when louis went to the gay club and became sure of his sexuality/feelings for harry. sooooooo. anywho, next ch is going to be a Literal Monster. it's going to be so fucking long. i've started writing it and am working through it. as always, can't promise when it will go up but thank u for sticking around and being patient. love u long time xoxo
> 
> [fic post](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/post/161333536170/fic-dont-you-think-that-its-boring-how-people) / [fic page](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/ggau) / [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/123144119/playlist/16fRGD5NIFALexkMrQIUG3)


	10. now playing: “i like me better" - lauv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mentions of drug use and underage sex, underage drinking

**Gossip Girl Blast #2509**

_Hello, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite._

_Summer time is quickly approaching, which means no responsibilities for us other than partying, drinking, and living our best hedonistic life. With only a few short days of school left, I know we’re all so ready to say goodbye to our books and uniforms and say hello to summertime in the city and Hamptons. However, it seems someone has started the celebrations a little early._

_Spotted: Zayn Malik stumbling out of 1 Oak tonight. He was so inebriated security had to hold on to him and walk him to the car, he couldn’t even manage that on his own. Several paps were present at the scene and, luckily, we have hundreds of shots of our favorite party boy completely wasted._

_Since he’s been back, we’ve only been met with the New Zayn, one who abides by the rules and hangs out with people from Brooklyn. What brought the Old Zayn back? Could it have been a certain appearance by our favorite blonde, Niall, who also happens to be Zayn’s partying BFF? Vote in the poll below._

_You know you love me._

_xoxo,_

_Gossip Girl_

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

It wasn’t easy for Louis to suck up his pride and call Harry and Eleanor to his apartment. In fact, it was probably one of the hardest things he’d had to do. However, desperate times called for desperate measures. When it came to Zayn’s health and safety, nothing else mattered to Louis. And Zayn needed help, whether or not he knew or wanted it.

The plan was to gather everyone within Zayn’s innermost circle...the ones who really knew him and not just through Gossip Girl blasts. Louis was obviously his best friend. Harry was someone Zayn partied with frequently back in the day and they’d grown up together. Eleanor and Zayn had formed a really strong bond in the later years. Louis also wanted to call Liam, but Zayn had always been adamant about not wanting Liam to know who he was at his worst.

He was barely showing up to school, let alone getting home at night. As far as Louis knew, no one really knew where Zayn was until pictures emerged. Either grainy snapchats in bars and clubs, or HQ shots from paparazzis who happened to be in the area. It was worrisome; Zayn hadn’t been this bad in so long. Maryam called Louis two nights ago, sobbing with tears, as she expressed her concerns about her reckless son.

Louis knew he had to do something. After Zayn’s confession to him a week ago about killing someone, something broke in him, and it all went downhill from there. He didn’t disclose details, just burst into more tears until he fell asleep. By the morning, he was gone, and Louis had barely seen him since then. Until this morning at six when Louis was woken up by a call from Zayn saying that he’d taken a pill from someone at the club and hasn’t been able to move since.

Turned out Zayn left 1 Oak and ended up at another club, but he had no idea how he got there or where it was. Thank God for being able to share locations over iMessage. Zayn wasn’t in the city, but in Queens. It physically hurt Louis to enter _Queens_ , but it would hurt more if something happened to his best friend. That was when he called up the others on the way back home with Zayn half unconconscious beside him in the car, telling them he needed their help and it was an emergency. He didn’t disclose much information, but they were both present when Louis got off the elevator at his apartment.

“Is this your idea of a perverse double date?” Harry asked, first thing.

“You have about three seconds to explain why we’re here,” Eleanor added, not looking too pleased about being there.

“I need your help,” Louis said, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes. “ _We_ need your help.” He gestured for them to follow him to the elevator where Zayn was slumped over on the floor, eyes red and sunken while his complexion was pale and sick. The three of them grabbed Zayn and pulled him up, bringing him inside the apartment. Louis started giving out orders. “We need to take him upstairs, stat. Dorota, can you please get us coffee?”

Dorota, who was lingering by the doorway of the kitchen, looking alarmed at Zayn’s state, rushed to the kitchen. The three of them managed to get Zayn upstairs, who immediately collapsed on Louis’ bed, eyes fluttering shut.

“No, we need to keep him awake and in the shower,” Louis prompted, dragging Zayn up again. “He doesn’t know what he took, but I think it was a mix of things.”

“Jesus Christ,” Harry muttered.

“He needs food, too,” Eleanor said. “I’ll go let Dorota know.”

“Please ask her to bring a fresh change of clothes and towels as well, please,” Louis requested.

Eleanor rushed out the door while Harry and Louis managed to get Zayn in the bathroom. As Harry held Zayn up, Louis got the shower started and helped him undress to his boxers. When he tried to get Zayn into the shower, he started protesting. “Lou, it’s so cold, please don’t make me,” he cried, eyes fighting to stay open.

“Z, please, it’ll help you feel better,” Louis told him. “Trust me.”

Zayn looked worn down, physically, but he fought through the exhaustion and nodded. “Okay.” He was bent over throwing up within seconds of stepping under the water.

“I’m getting deja vu,” Harry said, watching him with wide eyes. “This is just like old times.”

Louis sighed, shoving at Harry. “Let’s give him privacy. He can take it from here.”

The two of them exited the bathroom and left the door ajar so that they could make sure Zayn was okay. Eleanor was sitting on Louis’ desk chair, a tray of bagels, fruits, and coffee placed on the desk. “Dorota dropped these by,” she said.

“The bagels should help. We need more fried things,” Louis mused, taking out his phone to text Dorota, asking her to make a proper breakfast for Zayn.

“What exactly happened?” Eleanor asked.

“Yeah, how’d he end up in this state?” Harry added.

“Long story short, he’s been going through something really tough,” Louis explained. “Maryam called me saying he hasn’t been coming home. I’ve been trying to reach him, but couldn’t get a hold of him. Then he called me this morning saying he was in trouble.”

Harry nodded, brows furrowed. “What’s he been going through?”

“That’s beside the point and not my story to tell,” Louis answered. “The most important thing is -- we’re going to help Zayn no matter what.”

**♥** **Zayn** **♥**

Three pairs of curious and cautious eyes were staring at Zayn. All he wanted was for them to leave him alone. He felt deathly hungover, head pounding against his skull even after the coffee and breakfast Dorota put together for him, and his whole body ached from lack of rest. Zayn hadn’t been home in days, hadn’t slept on his bed or slept at all, really. Calling Louis last night was a cry for help, and Zayn was genuinely scared for his life.

He remembered how he felt after he took that pill. His heart had never raced that fast, but his movements had never felt so slow, and he couldn’t remember how he got to Louis’ at all. It all felt like a blur. Zayn was glad he called him, though. He saved his life and made sure he was okay. While Louis didn’t have to drag Harry and Eleanor into it, Zayn could overlook that. At least he didn’t call Liam. Zayn would hate for him to be here and see him in this state. Liam always put him on a pedestal, constantly reassuring Zayn what a good person and friend he was.

But Zayn knew the truth.

He wasn’t a good person at all.

“I don’t know if I can handle this mystery any longer,” Harry said, breaking the silence from his perch on Louis’ loveseat. Louis and Zayn were on his bed while Eleanor took the desk chair. “What did you do? You’re starting to scare us, Z.”

“Yeah,” Eleanor agreed, nodding her head. “You don’t have to be scared to tell us.”

“Exactly,” Louis piped up. “I mean, we’ve all seen each other at our worst. There isn’t anything any of us can do that would change how we see each other.”

Eleanor sighed, leaning back against her chair. “As difficult as it may be to admit, it’s true. None of us are saints. We’ve all fucked up.”

“I mean, I had sex with Harry in the back of a limo. Talk about low moments,” Louis shuddered.

“We did,” Harry confirmed, nodding his head sagely. “Several times.”

“And I had sex with you, but still pretended to be a virgin to Louis while dating him,” Eleanor said to Zayn.

Both Eleanor and Louis looked at Harry, waiting for him to contribute a fucked up thing that he’d done in the past. Harry glanced at the two and licked his lips resolutely. “And I’m Harry Styles,” he said as his answer.

“In conclusion,” Louis said, “you can tell us anything, Z, because as much as we might hate each other right now, we’re still best friends. Bound by this city and our pasts.”

Zayn swallowed, looking down at Louis’ velvet duvet. He was at his breaking point. When he confessed to Louis, he didn’t really divulge details and Louis didn’t pester for them. It was just so hard to dig into the past and pull those memories out when he’d done everything in his power to suppress and forget them. But Niall had come back to the city, calling him and taunting him, so he wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to be able to keep it hidden.

“If I tell you, then you guys can’t let it leave this room,” Zayn breathed out finally.

“Promise,” Louis was quick to assure.

Taking a deep breath in to center himself, Zayn began. “Niall is a big part of it. He’s the one that’s triggered this whole shit. Lou...El, you guys aren’t all that familiar with him because he was a grade higher than us.”

“Right,” Louis quipped, giving Harry a pointed glare. “Harry knows him quite well though, don’t you, Harry?”

Harry raised his eyebrows. “Are you jealous?”

Louis barked out a laugh. “ _Jealous_? Of the guy you exchanged your first blowjobs with in the seventh grade? Highly unlikely.”

“It was sixth, actually, and I don’t keep ties with him anymore because he’s a fucking psycho.”

“Can we get back to Zayn?” Eleanor interrupted, aggravated.

All the attention diverted back to Zayn, so he continued his story. “Before I left the city, I was out with Niall one night and something happened, the thing that really prompted me to leave. It wasn’t just...hooking up with Eleanor or any of that like everyone has been thinking. It’s something I’ve been trying to keep hidden, but Niall won’t let me. He’s essentially blackmailing me.”

“With what, exactly?” Harry asked.

“The night after I hooked up with Eleanor, I felt extremely guilty and so terrible for what I’d done. I couldn’t forgive myself or even live with myself, so I turned to Niall. He always knew how to make me forget and feel nothing. I figured, if I could feel nothing rather than all those things, then it’d be fine. He’d rented out a room at the Greenwich for us to party in and there was a girl there. They were hooking up when I got there. I didn’t know at the time was that Niall was actually taping all of this.

“They started bringing out drugs. I’m talking coke and speed and everything. I wasn’t in the mood to do any of that, even though I did call Niall with the intention of getting fucked. All I could talk about was what I’d done with Eleanor. At some point, Niall handed me a drink and left to go to the bathroom. The girl who was there, Chloe, kept touching me and wanting to hook up even though I told her I wasn’t in the mood. She was so messed up. Her movements were all sloppy and she could barely speak. Eventually, she coerced me into kissing her and before I knew it, she was trying to take my clothes off.”

Zayn’s voice started to break, but Louis placed a supportive hand on his shoulder, prompting him to go on.

“To, um, to distract her from hooking up with me, I told her we should do some lines first. She agreed right away and I literally handed over the platter of coke to her. After her second line, I could tell something was wrong because she was falling over on the bed and wasn’t breathing. I was so scared. I called Niall and he wouldn’t let me call 911 because of the drugs in the room. So we started to grab everything we could, but right before I left, I took Chloe’s phone and called 911, making sure they had someone on the way.

“Niall told me to leave. He said we had to go home and make sure everyone knew we were at home this whole time because otherwise they’d trace it back to us, but I stayed back and waited to see what happened to Chloe. I figured they’d be able to help her, you know? But they brought out a body in a bag and I knew I killed her. I can’t believe I killed her. I just -- I couldn’t live with myself after that. I just booked a train and left, then told my mom I had to go to boarding school and it was the only option I had.”

By the end of it, Zayn was crying again, sniffling against Louis’ chest as he held him. “And that’s why you never said goodbye to us. It all makes sense now,” Louis whispered to him.

“Yeah,” Zayn said, voice rough. “So I guess, now Niall’s back, and he doesn’t like that I’m not partying with him like we used to. He’s threatening to leak the tape he has and I can’t have that out. It’ll ruin me. I’ll go to jail.”

“What we need to do is find this bastard,” Harry spoke up.

“No,” Zayn shook his head, wiping his tears. “The last thing we do is play with the devil. He will ruin all of us. I don’t want to piss him off more than he already is.”

“But Zayn,” Louis said, “you didn’t kill her. You didn’t buy the drugs, or hold her down and make her take them.”

“No, but I gave it to her, I told her to take a few lines. What if I hadn’t, Lou? What if I said something else or kept kissing her? She wouldn’t have been dead.”

“She would have taken the drugs regardless if you told her to or not,” Eleanor said, quietly. “She brought them herself. You just showed up - she was trying to force herself on you!”

“I still feel responsible guys,” Zayn cried. “I feel like I had a hand in her death and I don’t know what to do.”

“Z,” Louis said slowly. “You’re not as terrible of a person as you think you are. You feel guilty because you’re a good person who cares about people and you watched her die right in front of you. You’ve changed. You don’t have to party and resort back to old ways just to spite yourself.”

There was a genuine reassurance in Louis’ words, but Zayn was still struggling. Maybe he’d always feel this way. The truth didn’t feel like it was setting Zayn free. He only felt more entrapped by it.

**♥** **Harry** **♥**

Harry was woken up with a slap on the face. He jolted back, never having gotten a wake up call like that, and blinked blearily at Louis. His surroundings came more into focus and he realized he was laying on Louis’ bed, their limbs entwined, albeit their clothes still on. A shame, that.

He wasn’t sure how they got there, Louis’ legs draped over Harry’s thigh while his arm rested over Louis’ waist, but he wasn’t complaining. Yesterday was draining, to say the least. Zayn unloaded a huge secret on them, and eventually he went home to speak to his parents and then Liam so they knew he was okay. He promised all of them he wasn’t going to go back to partying, not like that at least, and they were assured that things were going to start to be normal again.

Eleanor left along with Zayn, not wanting to be alone with Louis and Harry though Louis asked her to stay. Thing was, Louis wanted to catch Niall like the rat he was. He was hoping Eleanor could join them on their scheming. She said she’d be around to help, but there was no way in hell she was going to be alone with them anymore than she already had to.

That left two.

They spent the night brainstorming ways to get back at Niall, obtain the tape, and kick him off the island back to wherever the fuck he had been this whole time. They must have fallen asleep while plotting against Niall, and now Louis was glaring at Harry like he’d seduced him.

“Relax, we just dozed off,” Harry grumbled, stretching his arms and upper body. Louis’ bed was really comfortable and firm, and he didn’t really feel like getting up. “We were up late.”

“Yes, but if I’m not mistaken, you were on the floor,” Louis reprimanded.

“The floor isn’t nearly as comfortable as this bed, or you. Besides, I don’t want to hurt my back. It’s quite bad, you know?”

“Why?” Louis scoffed. “Not like you ever do anything athletic.”

“Now, we both know that’s not entirely true,” Harry smirked devilishly, sitting up and running a hand through his messy hair.

“You’re disgusting, Styles. Anyway, I’m mad we fell asleep. If I remember correctly, we were getting somewhere with our plotting.”

Harry stood up, looking around the room for his belongings. “I remember that as well, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to call it a day. My father’s got wedding stuff he needs me to come along on and I have to write my best man speech.”

“Oh, did he pick you?”

“Reluctantly,” Harry snorted, slipping on his Gucci slippers. “It’s whatever. Are you going to be okay on your own?”

“Yeah, I should be more than fine,” Louis laughed. “I can be fiesty and evil enough for the both of us.”

“No doubt. I’ve still got the scars and scratches on my back to prove it.”

Louis’ lips curled in disgust and he marched over to his bedroom door, brandishing it open. “Get the fuck out of my room. I hate you.”

Harry moaned, obnoxiously as he made his way out the door. “Gosh, I love it when you talk dirty to me.”

He heard the door slam behind him and couldn’t help but smile, smug and giddy. Somewhere between yesterday and this morning, they went from hating and avoiding each other to playful banter and subtle flirting. He wasn’t sure how it happened, but he liked it. Being around Louis again reminded Harry of what drew him in in the first place. Even now, the chemistry between them was sizzling, burning hot like flames.

After their recent falling out, Harry tried his best to move on with multiple people, but his mind always drifted back to Louis. No one was good enough anymore. Everyone bored him. Harry thought back to last night when they stayed up just talking. He didn’t do that with his usual hookups. Maybe that was what made Louis different. He wasn’t just a hookup -- Harry liked being around him for more than just his body.

\--

The morning was long and boring. Harry rode along with his father to their tuxedo fitting and then the florists to give their deposit for the wedding arrangements. Once that was done, they went to the caterers to finalize the meal and the venue to make sure they would start preparing on time. His father dropped him off back home late in the afternoon and Harry was getting to work on his best man speech when Louis rang him. Supposedly he came upon news that would help them with their scheming, so Harry told him to come over. Harry stood up from his desk when he heard the elevators of his apartment open, putting his laptop to sleep mode and meeting Louis out front in the living room.

“What’ve you got?” Harry asked in lieu of a greeting.

“An incredible, beautiful, wonderful piece of information,” Louis beamed, settling down on Harry’s black leather couch. “Did you know that Niall is actually supposed to be in rehab?”

Harry rounded his eyes, taking a seat across from Louis. “I thought he was in some European country, having affairs and living a lavish lifestyle.”

“Nope,” Louis laughed maniacally from excitement. “I heard from an extremely good source that Niall is actually meant to be in rehab right now for drug addiction. He snuck out a few months ago and has been skipping from town to town. He went overseas for a bit, but got bored and came back here. His rehab center is somewhere in Connecticut.”

“Where did you find this out?”

“I have my ways,” Louis said, proudly.

“You’re amazing,” Harry marveled, leaning back in his seat.

Louis preened at the compliment before crossing his legs. “We are going to call Niall’s parents and let them know what their son has been up to.”

“You think that will be enough to get Niall out of here?”

“Let me tell you something about people, H. The only thing feared by the spawn of Satan is Mom and Dad. Evil bastards don’t just happen...they’re made by parents even more wicked than their offspring. I’m sure Niall won’t have a choice but to leave once his parents get involved.”

“I don’t know why I doubted you,” Harry laughed. “I like that plan. Would you like anything to drink while we work?”

“I could do with a mimosa at this time of day, honestly.”

“Coming right up.” Harry stood up from his spot and walked over to his kitchen where he took out the ingredients from the fridge. His eyes traveled over to Louis still on the couch. It felt good to have him around again, to be back in his life in any capacity. Plotting together brought back memories of how they used to do this while growing up.

Harry hoped that once things settled with Niall, Louis wouldn’t go back to ignoring Harry like he had been Harry regretted outing Louis. He was consumed with anger and bitterness and his heart was broken, though he didn’t want to admit that at the time. He really wanted to fix things with Louis. Now with Eleanor completely out of the picture, he had a shot.

\--

The plan was to get Niall to face his parents without Niall realizing what he was walking into. Louis suggested a public place, as he wanted Niall to be as humiliated as possible. He was even getting one of his minions to take pictures from a distance to send off to Gossip Girl. After they made sure Niall’s parents were coming down to the city from their house in Long Island, Harry dialed up Niall. He was dreading it and didn’t want to talk to him, but Louis was persuasive when he wanted to be.

The conversation was a bit awkward, but Harry soon got into it and turned on the charm, asking Niall to meet him at Central Park the following day. Niall was under the impression Harry wanted to party a little, maybe have a romp in one of their bedrooms. _As if_.

Harry liked a little crazy, but Niall was straight up psychotic.

He arrived at Central Park the following afternoon in a loose fitting pair of gray chinos and a sheer off-white Gucci shirt that billowed against the warm breeze tucked into his pants. His sunglasses were on and he stood by the gate, hands in his pockets, waiting for Niall to show up. Instead, it was Louis who approached him first. Hidden behind his sunglasses, Harry was able to disguise the fact that he was looking right at his ex-lover as Louis’ eyes draped all over him, checking him out with a wild look on his face.

“Are you planning to seduce Niall or something?” Louis asked, crossing his arms and jutting out his hip.

“I’m sorry?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow, his lips curving into a smirk.

“Why are you so done up?”

“Have you met me?” Harry asked, slowly. “I’m Harry Styles. I always look good.”

“Ugh,” Louis snarled. “You’re such a narcissist.”

Harry smiled happily at the reaction. “And you think I look good.”

“Don’t let it get to your head,” Louis said. “Niall’s parents are waiting for me. We’ll be by the opening of Sheep Meadow.”

“Sounds good,” he replied. “Now hurry before Niall sees us together.”

“You just don’t want him to know that you’ve got me around so you can sleep with him.”

“Have I got you around, though?” Harry couldn’t help but ask.

The implication of the question seemed to have left Louis stunned a little bit, his mouth gaping at Harry before he quickly resumed his serious, bossy expression with stern eyes. “I’m leaving,” he announced before walking into the park. Harry smiled to himself and continued to wait there until he saw Niall get out of a black car and walk toward him.

He looked really good, decked out in Burberry’s latest summer collection and a pair of Ray Bans. However, upon seeing him Harry got flashbacks to sixth grade when they used to hook up. Niall was Harry’s first in a lot of ways, but he was also crazy with all the drama and trouble he surrounded himself with. He used to dabble with drugs and alcohol, looking for ways to rebel and “have a little fun.” Harry wasn’t crazy about getting wild like that. Even he had his limits. He waved to Niall, who waved back. “Styles,” he greeted. “It’s been a minute.”

“It has,” Harry agreed, pulling Niall into a one-armed hug. “How’ve you been?”

“Busy,” Niall responded. “Always keeping busy and having fun. You know me.”

“I do,” Harry chuckled, walking into the park as Niall fell into step beside him. “Heard you and Zayn have been hanging out recently.”

A devilish, nearly scary smirk formed on Niall’s lips. “Zayn’s been a bit difficult this time around, but nothing I can’t handle.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, trying to keep his tone light.

“He’s just not cooperating, you know? He’s acting like he’s so much better of a person than I am, and that hurts my feelings, which he really doesn’t want to do.”

Harry narrowed his eyes, studying Niall as they neared Sheep’s Meadow. “That’s interesting,” he opted to say. “Everything okay with you two?”

“I’ll let you know,” Niall smiled. “Anyway, what are you up to these days?”

Harry spotted Louis under a tree, standing with an elderly couple, presumably Niall’s parents. They locked eyes and the smile Louis gave Harry reminded him that they were in this together. Something about that thought made the butterflies in his stomach stretch, getting ready to flutter again, and he couldn’t help but smile back.

“I’ve been quite busy, too, actually. You know, like, school and connecting with a few people,” Harry answered.

Niall frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

Harry walked towards Louis while maintaining eye contact with Niall. “Well, you see, I’ve been in contact with your parents. Turns out, you’ve been a bad, _bad_ boy, Niall.”

They reached niall’s parents under the tree and both of Niall’s parents turned to face Harry and Niall, Louis standing beside them with a bright smile on his face. Niall looked to Harry to his parents and then to Louis, mouth gaping open as he sputtered. His shock was crystal clear and way too satisfying. “You did this?” he hissed at Harry.

“Not just him, sweetie,” Louis said, voice saccharine and patronizing. “You best bet I got in on it, too. What was it you were saying, Harry? Niall, the bad boy? He’s about to become Niall, the church boy very soon.”

Niall looked mortified, gasping and shaking in panic. “Mom...Dad...I swear I can explain. It’s not what you think.”

Niall’s mother was short, but she looked menacing as she approached her son. “Do you think we’re stupid enough to believe you again?”

“You have to!” Niall cried petulantly.

“No,” Niall’s mother shook her head. “This time we won’t! It’s been one too many times, Niall.”

Niall winced in fear before glaring at both Harry and Louis. “Why did you do this?” he asked.

“We’re just looking out for you,” Louis said, his voice still taunting. “I was having a long chat with your parents and I had no idea that you sold all twelve of your dad’s cars to pay for cocaine.”

“That -- that was a really difficult time,” he said, glancing at his parents to make sure they were listening. “But I’ve gotten past that.”

“How?” Louis asked. “I’d think you’d be in rehab to get past that, no? But you snuck out of rehab, hitchhiked to Jersey, stole some credit cards and booked it overseas. Isn’t that right?”

“Enough!” Niall cried, red in the face. “You have no idea where they sent me. It was fucking awful. In _Connecticut_. Do you know how fucked up and poor it is there? You all should be thankful I lasted as long as I did. I made it longer than Lohan did!”

“That’s enough, Niall,” his dad said, stepping forward and putting a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Louis was kind enough to let us know what you were doing. He even researched a few reform schools in Utah for troubled boys that we’ve already made calls to get you admitted to.”

“ _What_?” Niall shouted. “No, absolutely not.”

“Niall!” his mother clipped. “You will go and that is final, or we will cut you off for good.”

Niall looked like he was near tears, vibrating in anger. He clenched his teeth as he addressed Louis and Harry. “I can’t believe you did this,” Niall said. “Why? It was none of your business.”

The sweet smile dripped off of Louis’ lips. “You fuck with my best friend and I will fuck you over twice as bad.”

Harry was standing beside Louis, watching the show unfold in front of him. It was lovely to see Louis thrive. He couldn't be prouder.

“ _Your best friend_ doesn’t know what’s coming for him,” Niall said, a menacing look on his face. “I have proof of the shit he did.”

“You mean the USB in your navy blue duffle bag with the video that you filmed without his permission?” Louis asked. “Don’t worry about that, I’ve already got it.”

The color drained from Niall’s face and it was evident that he knew he was fucked for good. Harry decided to step in this time. “You’ll be hearing soon from some lawyers regarding any copies and unless you want to get in more trouble, I suggest you cooperate. We have more dirt on you than you know. See you, N.”

Harry and Louis turned to leave, laughing as they heard Niall let out an aggravated scream while his parents wrangled with him to get him to their car. Harry was on a power trip, walking side by side with Louis as they left the chaos behind them. They made a good team, him and Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is so wild tbh lamnsdak. wanna give a big thanks to liz for calling me out on my dumb mistakes when i can't see them myself. also to u guys for sticking around and reading :)
> 
> [fic post](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/post/161333536170/fic-dont-you-think-that-its-boring-how-people) / [fic page](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/ggau) / [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/123144119/playlist/16fRGD5NIFALexkMrQIUG3)


	11. now playing: “don't blame me” - taylor swift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: underage drinking, underage sex, and i think that's it....also weird parents.

**Gossip Girl Blast #2595**

_Hey, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite._

_Wear your best party dresses — we’ve got a wedding to attend. Bart Styles is tying the knot for the sixth time and he’s not letting a single detail go unnoticed. The venue is gorgeous, just on the edge of the city by the water. The arch is made of granite, draped with white daisies and green vines. There’s an open bar and endless h_ _ors d'oeuvres_ _._

_What’s most interesting about this wedding is all those in attendance. Everyone and anyone will be there, and I don’t know about you, but I’m hoping for some drama and a little excitement. Who’s with me?_

_Spotted: Louis Tomlinson arriving, looking sharp in his Givenchy suit. We can bet all eyes will be on him now that he’s fully single and possibly ready to mingle._

_Since Eleanor, Louis hasn’t really been seen with anyone. While she’s moved on with her Brooklyn beau, Louis has been flying solo. They say at weddings romance is in the air - maybe someone lucky will catch the eye of our King L._

_You know you love me._

_xoxo,_

_Gossip Girl_

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

Louis sipped on his champagne, smiling politely at the other guests while keeping an eye out for Zayn. He was supposed to be there, especially now that Niall was out of the picture and Zayn didn’t have anything to worry about. But so far, Louis couldn’t spot him. He did see Eleanor and the two exchanged small smiles as greetings. That was progress Maybe someday, she might even be able to forgive him and they could be friends.

Anastasia was in attendance as well as Louis’ sisters, but they all dispersed once they’d arrived. Louis’ mom went inside a tent where the wedding party was getting ready and Louis’ eyes lingered over there just in time to see Harry walking out of his own lavish tent. He was dressed in all black, hair perfect with all of his curls tamed and quiffed.

Louis gulped down some of his champagne, throat drying at the sight of Harry. The thing was, he looked good. _Really_ good. There was something about him, maybe his sharp jaw and perfect bow-shaped lips, that tugged at Louis with want and need. But too much had happened. He couldn’t think of Harry that way anymore.

As if sensing that Louis was watching him, Harry’s eyes moved toward him and he walked over, a smirk present on his face. He was holding a small folded paper. “Is that your best man speech?” Louis asked once they were close enough to speak.

“The very one,” Harry replied, eyes roaming over Louis from head to toe. Louis’ body warmed under the heat of Harry’s gaze, and he felt quite satisfied.

“Tell me...how hard was it for you to write about love binding people together since you have no sense of commitment?”

“Let’s put it this way. There won’t be a dry eye in the house.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” Louis giggled, rolling his eyes. His eyes caught on Harry’s floral red bowtie, the only part of his outfit that wasn’t black, and he noticed it was slightly crooked.

Not being able to help himself, he reached over and started to straighten it out. Harry watched his movements, moving a bit closer as his voice dropped. “You look stunning, Lou. Fucking gorgeous. More than anyone else here,” he whispered to him. Louis let out a soft breath and didn’t waver his gaze from Harry’s bowtie. “Save me a dance later?”

Louis finally looked at Harry, his green eyes bright and clear. The word yes was on the tip of his tongue, ready to tumble out, but Louis had to be strong. He couldn’t let Harry back in because what he did was still not okay. A slow, wicked smile formed on his face. “Not a chance in hell, Styles.”

Leaning back to put some space between them again, Louis marched toward the rows of chairs, taking a seat next to Lottie.

**♥** **Harry** **♥**

Harry couldn’t say he paid much attention to the wedding ceremony. From the little he gathered, his father was really happy and Clarice looked elegant in her Vera Wang dress, but Harry gave them a maximum two years together before divorce papers were typed out. Harry had walked down the aisle with one of Clarice’s pretty bridesmaids, who seemed very much into Harry, and then stood next to the altar with the groomsmen while pretending he was very happy and very excited to be there. Instead, Harry was really watching Louis, the way he sat with his family, smiling every so often. He knew Louis could feel his eyes on him, but didn’t make a motion to look back at him.

Harry wanted Louis so bad, he didn’t care that he missed when his father and Clarice exchanged vows or their exchange of rings. He didn’t even care that with just the right words and the right smirk, he could have that bridesmaid under him on a bed upstairs in the hotel before the reception even began. He just wanted Louis and he wasn’t thinking about anything else. Not that it mattered. Harry had sat through four of his father’s weddings. Bart married once prior to Harry’s mother, but that was short-lived, just like all of his other relationships. People wondered why Harry had commitment issues as if his father wasn’t the prime example of commitment phobia.

Louis might just be the only person who’d ever made Harry consider wanting to be with someone longer than a night. He couldn’t recall a single time in his life when he’d been so taken by a person as he was with Louis. There was something about him, something that made Harry see how well they fit. He just wasn’t sure how to get Louis to see the same. At first, he didn’t want to be with Harry mostly because he was in denial about his sexuality and he’d still been with Eleanor. But she’d been out of the picture for a while.

She was also, actually, at the wedding. Her family arrived not too long before the ceremony began. Eleanor looked gorgeous in her pastel pink dress, straight off the runway from Henri Bendel’s latest show. Harry had looked at her, but didn’t make a move to speak to her. He was still not sure what he could even say to salvage their friendship -- if it was even salvageable.

Shortly after the ceremony ended, Harry finally peeled his eyes off Louis and made his way over to the bar where he grabbed a flute of champagne, sipping it while resting his other hand in his pocket. The wedding party and guests dispersed, getting ready to go inside for the reception. Bart and Clarice took a dip to a secret location where they were planning to take wedding pictures. They were due to return in an hour to have dinner with their guests, do the toasts, and dance.

While keeping an eye on everyone, Harry noticed Florence Calder approaching him before spotting Eleanor following shortly behind. He quickly downed the rest of his drink and set the flute down, licking his lips and nervously watching his ex-best friend approach him.

“Harry, sweetheart, you look lovely,” Florence greeted him, bringing him in for a hug and a kiss on the check.

“Thank you, Flo,” Harry smiled. “It’s great to see you. Thank you for coming.”

“Of course. Everything looks gorgeous,” she complimented. Harry smiled politely, his eyes flitting over to Eleanor, who looked back at him with a soft scowl. Her resting bitch face was always on point, but today it was killer. He withered under her gaze, finally looking away and grabbing another champagne. Florence watched the exchange between the two and chuckled to herself. “The tension seems quite high here. Which is fine, because we all get into spats with our friends, but you two have been friends for far too long to be fighting like this. I assure you, in a few years, none of what you’re fighting over will matter.”

With that, Florence ordered a martini from the bartender, separating herself from them. Harry took a deep breath, chancing a glance at Eleanor. Her expression had softened, just slightly, brows furrowed in deep thought. She looked conflicted, fiddling with her clutch and opening and closing her mouth, like she wanted to say something but also didn’t. Harry suddenly ached for her to be back in his life. He missed her and their time together, all those movie nights in his apartments, shopping trips, and laughing over stupid shit that was posted on Gossip Girl.

It’d been so long since they did any of that and it wasn’t until that moment that it really hit him what he lost in Eleanor. She was his best friend, after all. It wasn’t like Harry had Louis to say that he’d gotten something in return for losing Eleanor. More so, he also hurt her by lying to her. He could have told her a long time ago about what happened between him and Louis, made it more obvious that Louis wasn’t just interested in her, but he wasn’t interested in girls at all.

“You look pretty,” Harry eventually said. Eleanor’s eyes met his and a corner of her mouth lifted up into a half smile.

“Thanks. I like your suit.”

“Do you? I was hoping to do a nice print, but Father told me we all had to go black. So fucking boring.”

A small giggle escaped Eleanor’s lips and the tension between them visibly lifted. “At least you’ve got a nice, bright bow tie to balance it all out. So tell me, how’re you really feeling about your new mommy?”

Harry lifted two champagne flutes from a platter at the bar, handing one to Eleanor, who took it. “I’ll be honest. I think I’ve only spoken to her twice.”

Eleanor hummed. “She seems nice. Not as young as the last one.”

“I guess. I just figured she won’t be around long. Why waste my breath?”

Another round of giggles came from both of them as they slowly walked toward the empty chairs from the ceremony. Once they sat down, Eleanor crossed one leg over the other and looked at Harry with a serious expression. “My dad’s gone.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Gone...where?”

“He’s hiding somewhere because he’s facing 25 years in jail for all the shit he was doing before. Mom bought him a plane ticket before they came to arrest him and sent him off. It’s been so...weird at home. Everything is so weird.”

Eleanor looked down at her lap, swishing her glass back and forth, her expression saddening as she briefed him. Harry felt awful. He hadn’t been there for Eleanor and he wasn’t sure if he she had someone to fall back on while dealing with all the shit at home. He reached over and placed a hand on her knee.

“You know I’m here right?” he said. “I’m here for you anytime. Everything you’re dealing with is so much bigger than what happened between us.”

“About that,” Eleanor said, biting down on her bright, red lips. “I took some time to really think about it, and I know that this was more than you sleeping with my boyfriend. Louis -- I don’t think he ever really loved me. I think he wanted to, but I don’t think he could because...well, you know. And while I’m not saying that what you did was right either, I still want to forget everything.”

“I understand, but just for the record, I am sorry for everything, El. I really am.”

“Thank you,” she smiled, putting her hand over Harry’s. “It’s been easier to deal with this now that I’m with someone else. I’ve only ever been with Louis and being with Max is so different.”

“Yeah?” Harry grinned, excited that they were talking and sharing like this again. “Like how?”

“Well, Max is super attentive for one. Just showers me with affection even though he tries to be so tough and bad all the time. And he listens to me, like, he _really_ listens.” A serene, soft smile spread across her face. “And he’s really good in bed.”

“Good to know,” Harry burst out laughing. “I’m so happy you’re happy.”

She scrunched up her nose, smiling widely at him. “And what about you?”

“Me? Nothing new. Same old, same old.”

“Don’t lie to me,” she said, shaking her head. “I saw you staring at Louis the entire ceremony. You’re so fucking obvious, H.”

Harry groaned, tipping his head back and gulping down the champagne. He didn’t want to have this conversation, but Eleanor was watching him with a look that meant she was going to talk about it whether he liked it or not and probably make him do something about it too. He huffed out, “Louis hates me. He’s not -- nothing’s going to happen with that.”

“Yeah, but you love him, right?”

Harry froze, letting her question sink in. He couldn’t lie to her, and his hesitance must have showed what he was always too afraid to admit to himself. His feelings were suddenly so clear and his best friend caught it before anyone else could.

Eleanor leaned closer as she said, “You know, I always knew you’d end up falling in love with someone, but I never thought it’d be Louis.”

“You and me both,” he chuckled, almost nervously.

“Now, it’s on you to make it better. What you did with the Gossip Girl blast was fucked up. Own up to it.”

“I know that,” Harry admitted. “Just need to figure out how.”

\--

Harry clinked his spoon to his champagne flute, gathering the attention of everyone seated  at the reception. Dinner had been served and it was time for the toasts. Clarice’s best friend went first, leaving Harry for last. He waited as everyone settled, eyes flashing over to where Louis was sitting with his family. Louis watched him back, bored, if his unamused eyes and pursed lips were anything to go by.

“I’d like to propose a toast,” Harry began, addressing the group at large but keeping his eyes on Louis, who raised an eyebrow at him in question. Harry winked and Louis rolled his eyes, though the smile on his face gave him away. “My father has always been someone who goes after what he wants. And something that he’s always seeked has been love. Personally, love has never been something that I’ve looked for myself, but I’ve watched my father and I’ve always been a little curious.

“When I see him and Clarice together, I see how happy they are...how happy they make each other. That’s not to say that they don’t have their moments of disagreement. Moments where they don’t see eye to eye and need space. But that never leads them to doubt that what they have is real. And I thought to myself, that maybe that’s what love is.”

Harry cleared his throat as he continued, placing his note cards on the table and looking directly at Louis. “One thing I learned from my father through all his endeavors is the importance of perseverance. That in the face of true love, you don’t just give up even if the object of your affection is begging you to.”

Several people chuckled, while other swooned over his words. But Harry’s eyes were still on Louis’, who visibly softened upon hearing him. “My father’s been married before and he’s been a firm believer in having second chances to go for the things he feels is worth it. In this case, it’s love. While I’ve never thought about love too much, I do think I’ve found someone who I could experience it with. And like my father, I hope to also have a second chance to be able to prove myself and show the other person that this is worth it.”

Raising his flute, Harry finished. “To the happy couple.”

“Cheers,” everyone resounded before taking a sip. Bart looked at Harry with a smile on his face, so Harry knew he had his approval. When he looked back at Louis, he saw him raising his glass, tipping it toward Harry and smirking underneath the twinkling lights of the room.

He looked beautiful.

Soon, the dance floor opened up and Bart and Clarice took the first dance, arms twined around each other as they moved to the slow beat. Harry stood toward the back, leaning against a pillar, as Louis approached him from across the dance floor. Other couples were joining in on the slow dance.

“That was some speech, Styles. Didn’t think you had it in you,” Louis said, having reached him.

“The last half wasn’t a part of what I initially wrote,” Harry said, voice slow. He’d had a few drinks and was feeling them course through his body, making everything a little slower. “I was inspired in the moment so decided to wing it.”

“Impressive,” Louis said, lolling his head to the side.

Harry reached over and tangled his fingers with Louis’, leading him onto the dance floor. Surprisingly, Louis went easily, eyes trained on Harry. “I need to apologize,” Harry said, once they reached an empty spot. “I’ve been terrible to you...even for me. And you didn’t deserve that.”

“Terrible, you say?” Louis asked, always the dramatic. His hands moved up over Harry’s shoulders and Harry gripped his waist to pull his body flush against Harry’s as they danced. “You mean like when you blogged to Gossip Girl about our sex life and outed me to our school?”

“Yes,” Harry sighed. “I was angry and jealous. Fuck, I was so jealous. I didn’t know how to tell you…”

“Tell me what?” Louis challenged.

Harry leaned in closer as he said, “That you didn’t belong with Eleanor. Never have, never will.”

“And you don’t belong with anyone,” Louis bit back, always stubborn and difficult.

“I think you’re wrong,” Harry whispered for just Louis to hear. “I belong with you.”

Louis’ breath hitched at Harry’s admission. His hands drifted up to grip Harry’s hair, holding him steady, and the room seemed to disappear. Or at least, that’s what it felt like when Louis leaned in and kissed Harry, lips slowly meeting together. Harry’s heart rapidly beat in his chest. First at the feeling of Louis’ lips finally being on his again, moving in tantalizingly slow brushes. Second, at Louis kissing him in front of everyone. They no longer had to hide. Harry felt relief. He felt immense love.

When Louis deepened their kiss, his tongue sliding in Harry’s mouth, Harry eased back. “Lou,” he breathed, “I want to take it slow this time. I want to take you out. I want to do this right.”

A laugh escaped Louis’ kiss bitten lips. “Harry Styles is a romantic. Who knew?”

“Well, you do, and you’re the only one that matters, so.”

“Harry,” Louis breathed out like he couldn’t believe it. “What does this mean?”

“You know, Lou. You’ve always known and so have I. We’re it...right?”

Louis didn’t hesitate. There wasn’t doubt in his eyes nor did he waver as he nodded his head and kissed Harry again, leaving him breathless and happy.

\--

Harry really did want to take it slow. He wanted this to mean more than sex and meaningless hookups. But when Louis was tugging at his clothes to take them off and kissing him until his lips were bruised and swollen, he could only deny him so much. They’d escaped the wedding, taking the lift up to the top floor where Harry had booked a room for the night.

Louis’ hands were everywhere. Slowly unbuttoning Harry’s shirt while nipping at his collarbone. It was so fucking hot, even more so when a few hotel guests got on the elevator and Louis didn’t make any move to stop. When they reached their floor, Harry gripped Louis’ waist, tugging him along to his room. Louis’ lips stayed attached to his skin and it took everything in Harry’s willpower to not take him right there and then in the hallway. He could feel a bruise stinging underneath Louis’ mouth and the pain shot right to his cock, making him whimper slightly as he took out his keycard and slotted it through the lock, opening the door.

The room was dark except for the floor to ceiling window that spread out across one wall, illuminating the bed and the gold sheets with city lights. Leading Louis to the bed, Harry bit his lip, deciding to keep the curtains open. He wanted the whole city to be their witness tonight.

As he laid Louis down on the bed, Louis blinked up at him, mouth swollen and looking completely fucked out already. His hair was no longer perfectly styled and his clothes were wrinkled. Harry rested a knee on the bed and unbuttoned Louis’ blazer, tugging it off of him before working on his shirt. Meanwhile, Louis’ eyes drifted over to the window, gazing at all the skyscrapers and lights.

“Is anyone going to be mad that I stole you away?” Louis asked, eyes still trained outside.

“No, and if they do, I’ll just tell them that you’re allowed to do that,” Harry replied, getting Louis’ shirt off.

Louis looked at him, slow smile spreading across his lips. “C’mere, I missed you,” he whispered. Harry ducked down, resting his other knee beside Louis, and hovered over him while they kissed deeply. His fingers tangled in Louis’ hair, holding him close.

“We don’t have to do anything,” Harry said, letting his lips trail down Louis’ jaw, reaching his neck and licking a fat stripe there. He tasted unbelievable. Sweet and rich, so fucking good.

“I want to,” Louis said, eyes squeezed shut as Harry touched him down his chest, fingertips soft and slow. “But don’t know if you earned it yet.”

Harry huffed out a laugh at that. His fingers gripped Louis’ hair and tugged it up so that their eyes met. “My whole speech was about you, babe. What more do you need?”

“I need you to convince me,” Louis said, his gaze not wavering. Electric blue eyes challenged Harry and he couldn’t help but smirk. “Tell me why I should stay and give you a second chance.”

Harry’s tongue poked out of his mouth, licking his lips. “Because I know you. I know what you like and what you need. Being with anyone else would be a waste of time.”

“I was with someone else after you, you know,” Louis confessed. “I went to a gay club and hooked up with a really hot guy.”

Harry’s gaze hardened and he gripped Louis’ hair a little tighter. “Oh, yeah? Did you like it?” Before Louis could answer, Harry jumped in again. “Be honest.”

Louis parted his lips in surprise at Harry’s rough tone. “I -- I said your name when I came.”

Swallowing heavily, Harry loosened his grip and stood back on his feet. Louis followed suit, sitting up in bed to look up at him. “Is that not enough convincing for you? You can’t even be with someone else without thinking of me. I feel the same way, you know? Couldn’t get off with anyone. Always just wanted you. You’ve completely ruined me, Lou. I want you to see that. I can’t go back. And if all of that isn’t enough,” Harry trailed off, dropping down to his knees so that they were face to face, “then I’d beg you on my knees to stay.”

Louis’ lips were on his right away, licking, biting, and pulling whilst he dropped down on the floor with Harry. Harry grabbed onto him before he could fall and kissed him roughly, teeth clanking as they did everything to close the distance between their bodies. They managed to take their clothes off on the ground before Harry grabbed Louis around the waist and pulled him up, leading him back to the bed.

“Can I take care of you?” Harry asked, mouthing over Louis’ skin, wherever it could reach. “Want you to feel so good.”

“Please,” Louis begged, switching the roles this time. He lay back on the bed, spread out and beautiful, his bare skin on display for Harry. Harry started with kisses on his face, down his neck, over his chest before stopping right over his groin. Louis was shaking, anticipation building inside him, and Harry placed a steadying hand over his waist to calm him.

He nosed along Louis’ inner thighs, lifting Louis’ feet so that they were hanging over Harry’s shoulders. He then licked a stripe up Louis’ cock before taking the head into his mouth, sucking softly. Louis was hard already, precome dribbling out, and Harry lapped it up with his tongue, letting the bittersweet taste dissolve in his mouth.

Louis moaned, gorgeous sounds littering out of his lips as his hand reached down to seek purchase on Harry’s hair. Harry closed his eyes, letting himself relax with Louis in his mouth before he began moving down a bit more, taking in as much as his mouth would allow.

Louis made sounds like he was getting close, which made Harry stop. This wasn’t going to the be the way they got off tonight. He wanted more -- so much more. Pulling off, he let his tongue slide down Louis’ balls, teasing at the crease of his ass. Louis froze above him, his squirming stopped. Harry barely tasted him there, but he was already aching for it. They’d never done this before, but Harry wanted to tonight.

“Can you turn over?” Harry asked him.

Louis nodded, quickly moving out of Harry’s hold and flipping over until he was on his stomach, breathing heavily. Harry stroked over his waist, lifting his hips up and letting his hands drift down Louis’ ass. Louis let out a soft whimper when Harry spread his cheeks apart, his face squished against the light gold sheets matching his skin. He was so fucking unreal. Harry couldn’t hold back any longer.

He closed his eyes and licked heavily and wetly against Louis’ hole. Louis started squirming again, moaning into the sheets. Harry steadied him, giving another few licks and letting his tongue trace around his rim, prodding gently inside.

“ _Fuck_ , H,” Louis whimpered. “Feels so good.”

“Yeah, baby?” Harry asked, sucking on the thin skin this time, making Louis shake under him. He could feel him trying to be still but failing. “Can I fuck you tonight? Promise I’ll make it good.”

“Yes, yes, _please_ ,” Louis answered, voice shaky and desperate. “Want you so bad, H.”

Harry’s heart thudded in his chest with Louis’ words. This was also something they hadn’t done before. He felt crazed and so full of want for this boy. He continued to eat him out, letting a finger explore inside as much as he could manage. Finally he pulled out the lube and condoms he’d packed. Louis stayed in the same position. He was gripping at the sheets, waiting for him, as Harry slicked up his fingers.

Harry was incredibly slow as he first pressed in, wanting Louis to be as comfortable as possible. Harry kissed any exposed skin he could see to distract him from the discomfort. Once he was knuckle deep, he thrust his finger in and out a few more times. Another few minutes later, he pressed in a second finger, and soon a third. Louis was fine for the most part, but Harry noted the points of discomfort, which was when he slowed down and kissed him, asking if he was alright until Louis reassured him he was.

By the time he was easily fucking Louis with three fingers and pressing down on Louis’ prostate, Louis was once again a shaking mess. His cock was hard, leaking between his legs, neglected since Harry’d last took him down. “Just a bit more, Lou,” Harry told him, voice deep and croaky with lust.

Louis shook his head, pulling away from Harry and turning over onto his back. “Please, Harry. I’m ready. You were so good to me.”

He yanked Harry down by the back of his neck to his lips in a hot kiss, wet and full of tongue and desperation. Harry took that moment to let his hand drift down, past Louis’ cock to his hole, scissoring him once again. He wanted this to be good; he didn’t want Louis to ever forget this night, Harry would make sure of that.

“Fuck me,” Louis whispered to him, breaking the kiss. “Please fuck me, Harry Styles.”

Harry cursed under his breath, pulling back from Louis and grabbing the condom from where it lay forgotten beside them. He rolled it on and slicked on more lube before lining himself up with Louis. Louis’ legs were spread open, chest and face flushed. His eyes were wet, too.

Just like when he opened Louis up, Harry went slow as he worked himself in. He was pretty big and he hoped Louis realized that, though the way he was trying to pull Harry closer would indicate he didn’t - or didn’t mind. Once he was fully in, Louis stopped, eyes wide as he stared at Harry. Harry leaned down to kiss him softly.

“You okay, baby?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Louis shakily nodded, eyes dark and dazed.

Harry slowly pulled out and pushed back in, only a fragment of a bit faster. They continued to do that until Harry built up a semi-decent rhythm, fucking into Louis just like he’d been begging for. Their hands were clasped together, bodies thrusting upward toward the bed with each deep thrust. Harry felt dizzy with how much he wanted to come. Louis was so hot and tight around him, and the noises he made were otherworldly. Harry wanted to memorize them and savor them forever.

They kissed, Harry swallowing all of Louis’ moans and the whimpers, trying to capture his senses so he didn’t know anything but Harry. When Louis started begging Harry to make him come, saying he couldn’t take it anymore, Harry released one of Louis’ hands to reach down for his cock, stroking him quickly. With just a few pumps, Louis was covering both their chests and Harry’s fist in his come. The moan that escaped Louis as he cried out Harry’s name while squeezing around him pushed Harry off the edge too. He stilled inside Louis, allowing them to be consumed by everything.

Moments later, after Harry pulled out and trashed his condom and Louis wiped them both clean, Harry looked out the window while Louis wrapped himself around Harry, naked and sated. This night was perfect. He hoped Louis would remember it just like Harry knew he would. He’d never experienced anything like this and he doubted he ever would.

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

Summer break was officially here, the last of St. Bart’s finals done and submitted. Louis had initially planned to stay in and work with his mother, learning more of the ropes of the fashion industry, but something new and exciting came along instead.

“So Paris with Harry,” Zayn said, laying on Louis’ bed while Louis packed his suitcase. “That’s huge...like _boyfriends_ huge.”

“Yeah, well, I think we’re at that stage,” Louis said, smiling to himself. Harry’d done all the planning. He surprised Louis with the itinerary a few days ago, saying they’d be flying on his father’s jet and staying for a week. It had been two weeks since the wedding and their special night and Louis was feeling like he was walking on air. Harry and him hadn’t officially called each other boyfriends, but they’d been exclusive and all wrapped up in each other. This blissful, honeymoon phase felt like it would never end, and Louis didn’t want it to.

“Really?” Zayn asked, laughing. “I can’t believe you’re dating Harry Styles.”

“Better get used to it,” Louis said, folding his Balenciaga shorts and packing them in. “It’s crazy, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone. He brings out this side of me that I didn’t even know existed.”

“Yeah, you’re right. And I think you bring out the best in him. I’ve never seen Harry so tamed and in love.”

The word love brought a flush to Louis’ cheeks, so he ducked his head down to hide himself. He wasn’t even going to tread the line of love, it was too much too soon. But the thought of it felt nice. In fact, he would say he was already on the way to feeling that way. Maybe a few days in Paris would really solidify everything and they could say those words to each other.

Louis was so giddy, he couldn’t wait to leave. Harry was meeting him at the private jet since he wanted to meet with Bart before they left. They were going to take off from the landing strip behind Styles Headquarters.

Once Louis finished packing, he sat with Zayn on his bed. “How about you? What are you planning to do?”

Zayn lazily blinked, looking like he was ready to take a cat nap. “Just hanging out. Might go to the Hamptons and relax a bit, you know?”

“Ah, surprised to hear you say that. Thought you’d be shlepping it up to Brooklyn all summer.”

“Liam and I will hang out, but he’s got a family vacation planned.”

“Well, I’ll be back eventually. We’ll go to the Hamptons together.”

“Sounds like a plan, Lou,” Zayn smiled before drifting off to sleep.  

**♥** **Harry** **♥**

Harry’s bags were packed and he was already dressed to head over to Styles Headquarters where the family jet was waiting to pick him and Louis up for Paris. He really just wanted to go already, but his father texted him asking him to hang back and see him before disappeared for the summer. Bart and Clarice had just come back from their honeymoon in the Maldives, looking tanned and in love. Harry would say he was a bit envious, but he would have his chance very soon.

As Harry watched his butler carry his bags to the front of the elevator, his phone rang and Eleanor’s picture appeared on the screen. “Eleanor,” he beamed, answering the phone. “What’s going on?”

“Wanted to chat before you left,” she replied. Harry could hear traffic blaring behind Eleanor’s voice. “Did I call at a good time?”

“Yeah, just waiting to see my dad and then I’m out.”

“On your own little honeymoon?” Eleanor teased, her voice dropping to sound more seductive.

“Shut up,” Harry groaned, his face flushing. “Where are you right now?”

“On my way home from yoga. Felt so good to relax. Anyway, don’t change the subject. I can’t believe you two are going to Paris. Things are getting so serious.”

“They’re not,” Harry denied, though, they kind of were. He just couldn’t handle the butterflies in his stomach and the more he thought about Louis, the worse the flutters would get. “Just a casual trip.”

“Shut the fuck up, H. You’re such a liar,” Eleanor giggled. “I’m happy for you, though. Know you’ll have a great time.”

“Thanks, El,” Harry replied quietly. “What about you? What have you got planned?”

“The Hamptons. The whole damn summer. Cannot handle this city any longer. I’ll be heading over there later this week and probably won’t come back until school starts.”

“Wow. I guess I’ll see you there when I’m back?”

“You know it. Alright, I’ll let you go. Safe travels!”

“Thanks, talk later,” Harry said before hanging up. He pocketed his phone and contemplated just leaving when the elevator doors to his apartment opened and out walked his father. Bart smiled upon seeing Harry.

“Glad you didn’t just bolt out of here,” he said in lieu of a greeting.

Harry shrugged. “I do have to get going soon, though.”

“Eager, are we?”

“It’s been a long year. Just want to have a good summer,” Harry replied.

Bart nodded his head, walking over to Harry’s liquor tray and pouring himself a glass of scotch. “As you should. You really proved yourself to me, Harry. Your end of the year marks aren’t half bad and I’m happy to say I’m proud of you. You deserve this break.”

Harry let out a shaky laugh, his voice faltering. “Tha--thanks, Dad.” He wasn’t used to getting compliments like that, especially not from Bart.

“Don’t get shy, Harry. You’ve been a good kid lately.”

“A good kid?” Harry couldn’t help but laugh out loud this time. “C’mon, Dad. When has anyone ever used those words to describe _me_?”

“Well, I’m saying it now. You’re finally growing up,” his father said, holding up his drink as a toast. “Good on you.”

Harry swallowed thickly. While he always thought he yearned to hear these words from his father, he felt the opposite now. He was who he was and he wasn’t ashamed of it. His bad boy reputation was well-deserved and everyone knew that, especially Louis. Louis didn’t expect Harry to change and Harry didn’t want to. Just because he studied a little bit and was walking into something exclusive with Louis didn’t mean he was suddenly a whole new person on his way to adulthood. Harry was still 17, he wanted to hold onto the days of his youth for as long as he could. He didn’t want to grow up, or whatever the fuck his father was on.

It was irritating him...getting under his skin.

Bart seemed calm, unaware of Harry’s internal panic. “I think the best thing you’ve done out of all this is settling down with Louis. Having a real relationship will be so good for you, Harry. It’ll teach you so much about responsibility and your emotions.”

Oh, fuck. What was he on?

Harry bit his lip, trying to hold back whatever inappropriate reaction wanted to rip out of him. Hearing words like _settling down_ and _responsibility_ and _emotions_ was something Harry didn’t want to have to hear.

“And it’s not just responsibility and emotions, you know?” Bart went on. “You have to teach yourself how to be faithful and take into account someone else’s feelings. It’s about sacrifice and being selfless, Harry. I think that giving up all the partying and the meaningless hookups will really help you get your foot on the right path. Come the end of summer, you’ll be a new man. I’m sure of it! Your mother would have been really proud of you.”

Breath stuck in his throat, Harry gaped at his father, unable to speak. He brought up his mother. Of all things, he brought up the one thing he knew would throw Harry’s head into a frenzy. As if everything else wasn’t just on the right side of awful. Harry’s palms were sweaty.

He wasn’t sure if he could move. He wasn’t sure if he could be this person that Bart was describing. He wasn’t sure if he could do any of that -- caring about others before himself, sacrificing, being selfless, and faithful. Having those expectations from him all because he was with Louis seemed like too much.

Bart’s phone started ringing, pulling him away toward the study and leaving Harry alone. Harry looked over at his suitcases, all packed and ready with flowers sitting on top of them. He’d gotten them for Louis. He was going to give it to him when they met in front of the jet. Right now, though, Harry wasn’t so sure he wanted to do that anymore.

He was Harry Styles.

He didn’t settle down. He wasn’t responsible. He wasn’t faithful or trustworthy. And he definitely wasn’t selfless. He never would be.

Walking over to the bouquet of red roses, Harry picked them up and dumped them in the trash.

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

Louis arrived promptly at 4 PM just like he and Harry agreed. He was wearing his most comfortable Burberry tracksuit, perfect for traveling. As he climbed out of his car and the driver took out his bags, he noticed he wasn’t alone out. The private jet was taking off from behind Styles headquarters and there were a lot of men in suits, walking around, several chatting over their thick files.

Sighing to himself, Louis glanced down at his phone. He wanted Harry to be here already so he wouldn’t have to awkwardly stand there alone. Quickly, Louis shot him a text and tried to appear busy, immersed in his phone. A few moments later, he could see someone approaching him. When Louis glanced at them, he couldn’t help but let his eyes appreciatively take in the man in front of him. He was in a suit just like everyone else, but he was pretty, in an older kind of way. He had dirty blonde hair, deep blue eyes, and a sweet smile.

“Hey, I couldn’t help but notice you out here,” he said. “Are you a part of Styles Industries?”

“I’m not,” Louis shook his head. “I’m here with Harry Styles, but he’s late.”

“Oh, you’re a guest of Harry’s,” the man’s eyes widened. “I see. Apologies. I just wanted to make sure you were taken care of. We’re having a meeting out on the courtyard on the other side, so I was just walking over. I’m a part of the marketing team here. Started a few months ago right off my internship.”

“Interesting,” Louis commented, letting his eyes linger on the man’s face. “That’s great.”

He nodded, eyes equally checking Louis out before he snapped out of it and extended his hand. “I’m Greg, by the way. Greg James. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Louis Tomlinson,” Louis responded, shaking his head.

“The Louis Tomlinson,” Greg marveled, his voice airy with wonder. “It’s incredible to meet you. What are you doing meeting Harry Styles out here? He doesn’t come here much.”

“We’re going to Paris together,” Louis answered, smug and proud.

“That’s romantic,” Greg smiled. Louis just preened, looking down at his phone again. Still nothing from Harry. “Well, is he on his way? The private jet’s been sitting out here, getting ready for a few hours.”

“He should be.”

As if on cue, his phone chimed with a text alert. Louis’ eyes shot down to his phone at an embarrassingly quick rate and then his heart sank.

_Can’t make it. Something came up. H._

The first thought that came to Louis’ mind was how embarrassing this was. He’d packed and came all the way out here, spoke to Harry’s father’s employees and practically gloated about being whisked off to Paris, only for Harry to cancel. He didn’t even offer a proper explanation. Louis scolded himself for thinking Harry would go through with their plan. He was always going to be unreliable and flaky and selfish. He wasn’t ever going to change.

His face must give something away because Greg spoke up, peering at him with a concerned expression on his face. “Everything alright?”

Louis composed himself, sighing once more to get it out of his system. “Yeah, Harry just told me he can’t make this flight. He’s coming in later.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Greg sympathized.

“Thanks,” Louis said, pouting a little as an idea formed in his head. “I have to get on that flight, though. But I’m scared of flying alone. I, uh, hate to ask this of you, but would you want to come with me?”

Greg looked thrown off, his surprised expression taking over his face. “Me? I have a meeting right now and I’d have to get it approved by my supervisor and everything.”

“Tell them Harry Styles cleared you,” Louis said. “I’ll get his approval right now.”

“Really?” Greg asked.

Louis simply nodded, smiling sweetly, and something in the tension Greg was displaying deflated. He wiped across his brow, looking down at his own phone and then walking backward toward the courtyard. “I’ll go tell them now. Wait for me.”

“Will do, Greg,” Louis said, leaning back against his car. He watched Greg go and then looked down at Harry’s text once more. If Harry wasn’t going to show up, Louis wasn’t going to let that stop him from having his romantic Paris getaway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! hi! i'm so sorry for being gone so long. i'm terrible at updates but im honestly working on a few different fics and i sort of write whatever im most inspired to, but i got this done a few days ago. i will attempt to have the next update to you guys...possibly end of the month or next. 
> 
> [fic post](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/post/161333536170/fic-dont-you-think-that-its-boring-how-people) / [fic page](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/ggau) / [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/123144119/playlist/16fRGD5NIFALexkMrQIUG3)


	12. now playing: “happier” - ed sheeran

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: underage drinking

**Gossip Girl Blast #2595**

_Hey, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite._

_Our location for the summer has changed: everyone’s headed east down the Montauk Highway to the Hamptons. City folks are at the beach, or rather - at  their lavish houses overlooking the beach. The parties and drinks are endless, with no recollection of how these summer nights are passing by. And who can forget the cute little boutiques where we’re spending most of our afternoons - and money?_

_But unlike us, sex, lies, and scandal never take a vacation. Our resident bad boy turned good, Zayn, has been hanging out an awful lot with his old pal, Eleanor. Word has it the two of them have rekindled their old flame. Could it be that Zeleanor is on the horizon again? And whatever happened to that guy from Brooklyn? As for Louis, he’s still not back from Europe, but given the amount of pictures he’s been posting on his IG with his new boy toy, I’m sure no one needs me to update on him._

_Spotted: Harry Styles finished up a round of golf before heading off to a party where he apparently has a few ladies and gents waiting for a chance to woo him. After the summer he’s been having, I’m sure that rumor isn’t too far off from the truth. He’s been seen leaving places with multiple prospects. Sometimes one and sometimes two..._

_Ménage à trois_ _, anyone?_

_xoxo,_

_Gossip Girl_

**♥** **Eleanor** **♥**

Eleanor groaned, dropping her phone down beside her on the oversize red beach towel. The beach was quiet today, not too many people crowded around. However, that Gossip Girl blast was enough to give her a proper headache. She hated the idea of people lumping her and Zayn together again when that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

That was what she agreed to, though. What she promised Zayn.

The real truth was that Zayn was having an affair with an older, married woman who didn’t want anyone finding out about the two of them since it would ruin her marriage. To keep nosey people and Gossip Girl off his back, Zayn begged Eleanor to pretend that they had something going on between them so no one would even suspect him and his cougar.

Being the good friend she was, Eleanor agreed, but it was August now and she was annoyed. How long was Zayn planning to extend his summer fling? Eleanor was sure it would end sometime after July 4th, but they continued to fuck like bunnies in Zayn’s house or the lady’s guesthouse. Eleanor could never remember her name, mostly because Zayn didn’t talk about her much, just thanking Eleanor with plenty of ice cream.

When Zayn and Eleanor were actually together, trying to appear intimate but covert, they mostly talked about the Netflix shows Eleanor had been binging all summer. Max couldn’t come down to see her for the summer. He didn’t have the funds for it and rather than accept Eleanor’s offer to stay in her house, he picked up extra shifts at work. So they were separated for the time being. The couple spoke every night and things were still great and intact, which Gossip Girl didn’t know. In a way, Eleanor liked that.

For the first time, they were all fooling the bitch.

Relaxing back on her towel, Eleanor picked up her beach read, getting lost in the pages. She was startled when a body jumped and laid down beside her. Turning her head, she smiled when she saw Harry, his neck flushed up to his cheeks.

“Ew, did you just have sex?” Eleanor asked him, grimacing.

Harry grinned, clearly happy with whatever he’d done. “Jolene has an _incredible_ mouth.”

“ _Ugh_ ,” Eleanor groaned. “You’re disgusting. All you’ve done this entire summer is sleep around. I hope you’re at least being safe.”

“Sex is extremely good for your health, Eleanor. I know you’re not having it on the reg these few weeks, but don’t stop me. And of course I’m being safe. I’m not an idiot.”

“I’m not trying to stop you. I’m just judging you.”

Harry ignored her, getting comfortable as he stretched out his limbs. “I bumped into Zayn on the way down here.”

“Oh, did he take a break from his sexcapades as well?”

“He told me Louis was coming down here.”

Eleanor peered over at Harry, whose expression had grown solemn and serious. Things between him and Louis weren’t good and Eleanor had done her best to stay away from it. She had had enough drama with Louis to last a lifetime. But when her best friend was in need, she had to do what she could to help him work things out. “Is that a bad thing?” she asked him.

Harry shook his head, running his fingers through his hair as he squinted up at the sun. “No, I just. I think I’ll talk to him.”

“Harry,” Eleanor sighed, sitting up so she could properly look at him. “Why? You’ve been trying to move on all summer. Why, the second he comes back, you want to play your game again?”

He pursed his lips, biting down on the lower one. “It’s not a game to me.”

“Oh, come off it. It is so a game, and Louis is done. Have you seen his Instagram lately? He’s with a British guy now, who looks hot enough to be a model.”

“That guy?” Harry scoffed. “He’s nowhere near as good as me.”

“You want to be good now, then? Like when you tried to tell Louis how good you’d be for him before you went and ditched him?”

“That was -- that was a _mistake_.”

Eleanor turned away and looked at the water. “Word of advice, I think you should leave it. I don’t think Louis is going to play along this time.”

“I have a plan,” Harry told her, sitting up as well. “I just need you to come with me for moral support.”

She shouldn’t. Eleanor should lay back down and finish her book, which only had a couple of more chapters left. But with Harry looking at her with his big, green eyes, she knew he meant what he was saying and that she would give in because she loved him and wanted him to be happy. She just didn’t understand how him and Louis were never able to work their shit out.

Thirty minutes later, Eleanor found herself accompanying Harry to the local florist, purchasing the biggest bouquet Eleanor had ever seen and going with him to the Jitney stop where Louis was due to arrive any moment. Eleanor took a step back, sitting on a bench nearby where she had a perfect view of Harry staring as the Jitney approached.

It happened in slow motion.

The Jitney stopped, passengers getting off with their luggage. Louis stepped down after a few moments, carrying his LV bag, and his eyes met Harry’s immediately. Harry, who looked so hopeful, as though the flowers in his hand and his grand gesture would make up for what he did. Louis didn’t return his smile. Instead, he turned to the really attractive guy who followed Louis down the bus steps and gave him the smile Harry was yearning for and hoping to see directed toward him after so many weeks apart. The guy, presumably Louis’ new beau, put down their luggage and pulled Louis into an embrace and a deep kiss.

Harry lowered his flowers, looking away toward Eleanor. She didn’t want to say she told him so, but in a way, Harry needed this wake up call. They all knew he fucked up, no matter what his reasoning was. Karma was a bitch, and so was Louis Tomlinson.

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

Traveling through Europe and the UK with a lover was fun and made for a great story to tell your friends upon your return to school after summer, but spending a few days in the Hamptons house with your best friend was a staple in order to complete the season.

Zayn had come over as soon as Louis alerted him via text that he was back. He arrived bearing a pitcher of cold sangria and the two went poolside to lounge on the chairs. After pouring themselves a glass, the catching up started. They tried keeping up with each other all summer through text and phone calls, but being in different cities made it hard to be consistent.

“Are you telling me that all you’ve done this summer is hook up with an old woman?” Louis asked, sipping his drink and staring out at the blue pool in front of him. He needed to get in for a dip soon. The weather out here was a lot warmer than Europe and Louis hated sweating.

Zayn glared at him from behind his shades. “She’s 32! That’s not that old.”

“She’s nearly twice your age, Z. That’s old. The funniest part about all of this, other than the fact that you are fucking someone that’s old enough to be your mom, is that Gossip Girl has no clue.”

“Well, that’s because of Eleanor. If she didn’t pretend with me and keep Gossip Girl busy trying to figure out what’s going on between us, I’d have been caught a long time ago. But we couldn’t risk that. Holly is married.”

Louis wrinkled his nose. “That’s _revolting_. Not only is she old, but she’s married? Does she have any kids?”

“No! I’m not _that_ terrible. She’s not getting along with her husband lately and I’ve been helping her through it.” A lewd and lascivious smirk spread across Zayn’s face and Louis gagged, looking away from him. Zayn laughed out loud, clearly pleased by the reaction he evoked. “Well, you’ve kept Gossip Girl plenty busy thanks to all your social media postings.”

Louis smiled proudly. “I’m in summer love and I want to show it off.”

“Beck seems nice,” Zayn said. “Where is he?”

“Napping. He’s jet lagged, not used to the time difference.”

“Where exactly did you meet him?” Zayn asked, finishing the last of his drink and pouring another glass.

“London! I went to France with this other guy, but then he had to come back to the city, so I went to London and Beck and I met in a coffee shop.” Louis couldn’t help the dreamy smile on his face. That day was so picturesque, honestly. Their eyes had met across the room in the cute little coffee shop and something just clicked. Beck came over, greeting Louis in his sexy accent, and the rest was history. They traveled through Prague, Venice, Florence, Amsterdam, and Berlin together.

While Louis loved it all, he was so glad he was back in his own country. He was tired of all the constant travel. Plus, he wanted to show Beck New York and show Beck off to New York. More specifically…show him off to _someone_.

Then speak of the devil and he arrived. Louis gaped as Harry strolled in through the glass doors of Louis’ house and toward Zayn and Louis. The most annoying part about this was how good he looked. A full body tan, toned body, and those stupid fucking curls. His Gucci swimming shorts with the small hearts on them were the icing on the cake. He was gorgeous and Louis hated him.

No one had invited him over, not even when he had showed up at the fucking Jitney stop with stupid flowers in his hand. Did he really think that flowers would make up for what he did? Louis was absolutely _livid_ with him. He doubted he would ever forgive Harry at this point, but he wasn’t above playing it out the way he wanted to.

Louis smiled saccharinely, turning to Zayn and speaking loud enough so that Harry could pick up on the conversation. “Speaking of Beck, did you know that he speaks six different languages? He’s sexy _and_ smart.”

Harry’s brows immediately furrowed, his stupid ever-present smirk wiped off his face. He slowed once he reached them, twiddling with the rings on his fingers. Zayn looked from Harry to Louis, no doubt aware of the tension in that moment. It just irritated Louis that Harry had the audacity to show up at Louis’ house when he knew he wasn’t welcome. Who even let him in?

Louis glanced at Harry, promptly looking away as if to show that he could barely see him standing right there. He couldn’t care less. He was _that_ over him.

“He’s also super sweet,” Louis continued to brag. “He bought me, like, this gorgeous ring with my initials on it from Bulgari. I don’t wear it often because it’s something special and I don’t want to lose it or ruin it.”

Zayn let out a soft sigh and then chuckled, peering up at Harry, who was still standing there awkwardly. “That really is sweet,” Zayn nodded to Louis. “He sounds like he’s so good for you, honestly.”

“Extremely,” Louis preened. “I know we moved pretty fast, but he is so charming and it’s just nice. This is the first time I’ve felt like I’ve been truly happy in a relationship, you know? He’s the real deal. Plus, his accent is so sexy.”

“Oh, _please_ ,” Harry finally broke his silence. “Give it up already.”

Louis flashed his eyes at Harry, burning with anger. “Excuse me? I don’t recall speaking to you.”

“I’ve known you my entire life, Louis. You’re bragging just to get me jealous. I know this boy toy you brought with you means nothing.”

Louis sputtered out a laugh. “Jealous? _You’re_ jealous? That’s rich. I didn’t realize you were capable of having feelings.”

Zayn cleared his throat, slowly refilling his glass for the third time.

“Look,” Harry said, raising his hands up in surrender. “I get it. I hurt you --”

“You _didn’t_ hurt me! I feel nothing for you,” Louis shouted.

“But for how long?” Harry continued.

“What is so hard for you to understand here, Harry?” Louis asked him, trying to calm down. “I am _with_ Beck. I spent all summer with _him_.”

“Was this before or after you whisked my father’s employee to France with you?” Harry tilted his head to the side, fixing Louis with a knowing look.

Louis smirked, pleased that Harry was so bothered by all these other guys Louis had been or seen with. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” he taunted.

“Well, I think you’ll be interested to know that I had him fired just for you.”

“Did you?” Louis raised his brows. “I don’t get why you’d be mad. It’s not like you went on the trip with me. So what’s your problem, Harry? Is it that I’m in a loving relationship while you’re still pathetic and alone? The concept of a stable and committed relationship is foreign to you, but it’s what I want, so deal with it.”

“If this relationship of yours is so real and so perfect then prove it. Bring him around to dinner tonight and I’ll see for myself,” Harry countered back.

“I will,” Louis replied. “Now can you leave? All this frowning is going to give me wrinkles.” Harry scoffed, rolling his eyes and turning around to walk back inside and see himself out. Louis scoffed as well once Harry was out of earshot, turning to Zayn. “Can you believe him?”

Zayn burst out laughing. “You guys are so ridiculous. You’re both fighting, but really you want to get married and have children with a big loft in the city.”

Louis gasped, scandalized at Zayn’s suggestion. “You’re disgusting and that would never happen!”

Louis was sure of it. The Harry ship had sailed and he really was on the road to getting over him. It had hurt the first few days...deeply. There were some really tough nights and he wondered if he’d ever be able to get out of his funk, but he did.

Nothing had really happened between Louis and Greg. They’d kissed, but then Greg started freaking out about his job back in New York and left Louis in Paris. Naturally, Louis needed another rebound, and luckily, found one in London. But Beck became more than that. He really was sweet on Louis and the sex was pretty good. After sleeping night after night with Beck during their travels, Louis was definitely sure he was a bottom now that he’d tried both. Beck just wasn’t as handsy as Louis would like and could be a bit more passionate in bed. But in time, Louis hoped that would change. He was miles better than a flaky bastard with commitment issues.

After spending the afternoon with Zayn, they all retired to their rooms to get changed for dinner. The whole gang from the city was getting together and this would be Louis and Beck’s big debut. Louis wore a pristine, light blue shirt he’d gotten from YSL while traveling and his favorite pair of black jeans with the shirt untucked over it. It brought out his tan and he looked really good.

When he and Beck got to the restaurant, everyone was taking their seats around the large table. Louis couldn't help but beam as everyone looked over watching the new couple, including Harry, whose glare could probably drill a hole in them it was that sharp. Louis ignored him, opting to hug Eleanor and introduce Beck to the rest of the clan. While swept up in a conversation with Eleanor, Louis didn’t notice Beck go over and reserve their seats, which ended up being right next to Harry, who already had a whiskey neat in his glass, watching Beck with beady, suspicious eyes.

Louis quickly excused himself and sat down with Beck, offering Harry a quick glare. “Everything alright, sweetie?” Louis asked, facing Beck.

Beck nodded, smiling softly. “Yes,” he replied. “Did I mention how gorgeous you look tonight?”

At that, Louis’ stomach fluttered and his cheeks warmed up. It was little things like that that really took Louis aback. He received compliments before, but Beck said it with an accent that made Louis fall a little more for him. Louis leaned forward, giving Beck a soft kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, sweetie,” he purred, angling his body toward him. Beck wrapped an arm around Louis’ waist and pulled him closer. It looked like he was going to kiss him and just as Louis was about to close his eyes and let him, they were interrupted.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Harry asked, looking right at Louis.

Louis sighed deeply. “And why would I do that?”

Harry arched an unamused brow at him before turning to Beck and offering him a dimpled smile. “I’m Harry Styles, Louis’ good, _good_ friend. It’s nice to meet you.”

Beck immediately let Louis go to shake Harry’s hand. “Nice to meet you as well. I’m Beck.”

“I hear you two met in London,” Harry said.

Beck nodded. “We did. It’s been a whirlwind of romance since then.”

“How cute. I’ve known Louis all my life and this is probably the first time he’s jumped into a relationship like this.”

This time, Louis was arching an eyebrow at Harry. Was he bragging about how well he knew Louis?

“It’s a first for me as well,” Beck confessed, placing his palm over his heart. “I honestly have never been one for love at first sight, but I felt that for Louis.”

Louis gasped softly, holding Beck’s hand on top of the table. “Baby.”

“Is it his looks you’re in love with, or who he is as a person?” Harry questioned, butting into their moment again.

It was hard not to glare at him for his invasive question, but Beck took it with stride. “Both! I think Louis is absolutely stunning and I was definitely attracted to him when I saw him. It’s been wonderful getting to know his kind heart as well.”

Clearly not pleased with the answer, Harry leaned back in his chair, giving Beck a subtle death glare. He finished his drink and got up. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be needing more of these tonight.” He stormed off toward the bar and Beck looked at Louis and shrugged. He began to engage in a conversation with Zayn and Eleanor, which gave Louis the perfect opportunity to stand up and follow Harry to the bar.

“What’s your problem?” he asked as soon as he was face to face with the green eyed monster.

Harry scoffed. “My problem? I don’t have a problem, Louis.”

Upon closer look, Louis saw it. The fight and fiery expression Harry had on just moments before was gone and replaced with something that looked guilty and devastated. Gulping, Louis crossed his arms. “You were interrogating him.”

Licking his lips, Harry furrowed his brows and asked, “Do you really love him?”

The question surprised Louis and he didn’t know how to answer. It should be easy, but it wasn’t. All this time, he’d been putting on a show, mainly for Harry but suddenly, he wasn’t sure how to answer this. This could seal it. This could get Harry off his back. This could move Louis past all this bullshit. But Louis hesitated and Harry saw it.

“Do you?” he pressed, leaning a little closer to Louis. His familiar scent made Louis dizzy with want. It’d been so long since he touched him. Louis used to think their bodies were made for each other. Their souls were united and their hearts were tied. Even after all the people Louis had slept with, Harry had been the most intoxicating. But Harry ruined it. He didn’t come to France with Louis.

“Yes, I love him,” Louis finally replied.

Harry stared at him, eyes unreadable, and he nodded. “Okay.”

Surprised, Louis asked, “That’s all?”

Harry nodded, face solemn and almost defeated. ‘That’s all.”

Putting down his glass, Harry stared at Louis before turning around and walking out of the restaurant. Louis watched his retreating form, wondering what was going on. Was he finally giving up? All it took was Louis lying and saying that he loved Beck when it was really just his attention that Louis craved. He gave Louis everything that Harry wouldn’t. He was attentive and loyal and a _good guy_.

But at the end of the day, he still wasn’t Harry.

**♥** **Harry** **♥**

“How are you going to stay in the Hamptons all summer but then go back to the city right before the white party?” Eleanor asked, eyes drifting along the store windows. She wanted to go shopping so they were perusing the different boutiques on Main Street. “It’s just...like, why did you even come then? Everything culminates at the white party. It’s the perfect Hamptons send off. If you didn’t go, did you even come to the Hamptons?”

“Don’t be so melodramatic, El,” Harry said, adjusting his Ray Bans over his eyes. “I’m just not in the mood.”

“Is it because of a certain boy that just dropped back into town?”

“You know it is and I’m not even going to deny it,” Harry admitted.

“I don’t know what to say, H,” Eleanor said, looking at him. “Like, I’m your best friend and I love you, but you messed up.”

“And I’m fully aware of that. It doesn’t mean I want to stick around here while Louis’ parading that British bastard in front of my face. I’d rather go to the city. It’s tourist season, I can get with a couple of them quick and easy.”

Eleanor sighed deeply, clearly not on the same boat with Harry’s logic, which he didn’t expect her to be. Sleeping around to get over Louis was not the smartest choice, especially when Harry tried doing that all summer only for it to not work at all. Louis stayed on Harry’s mind like glue.The minute Harry saw him again, nothing else mattered. He wanted Louis and only Louis.

Maybe he was ruined forever. Maybe no one would ever be good enough again.

It didn’t really matter now that Beck was in the picture. Louis said he loved him. Those were not small words;  they had to mean something coming from Louis’ mouth. Harry told Eleanor as much and she laughed, looking at Harry like she couldn’t believe him.

“Do you really think he meant that?” Eleanor asked. “Louis’ known him for a few weeks. There’s no way they’re in love.”

Harry pondered that possibility as they turned the corner, headed toward another string of boutiques. It was crowded out today, everyone rushing to get an outfit together if they were lucky enough to be invited to the white party. Harry wasn’t going to be there, so he didn’t care, but now he wondered if everything Louis was doing was a show. Maybe this whole thing with Beck was fake just to get back at Harry. Should Harry stay back and see how things unfolded?

As the pair moved down the street, Louis and Zayn walked out of a store, both dressed down. Zayn was in a pair of swimming shorts and a tank while Louis was sporting jeans shorts and a very loose and big white t-shirt. Upon closer look, Harry realized it was his own shirt. Louis had taken it before summer, when they were still together.

Without realizing, he started to smile, amused at what he was seeing. Louis took note of his cocky smirk and glared, looking confused and put off. “Morning, Tomlinson,” Harry greeted.

“It was until now,” Louis replied, his tone bitter and annoyed.

Harry did a quick check around them before turning back to Louis. “Don’t see your new beau around. Surprised, considering he’s been stuck to your ass since you two arrived.”

“You wish you could be stuck to my ass, Styles,” Louis retorted, making Zayn gag beside him. “And Beck’s got work to do for his university. He goes to Oxford.”  

“A uni man, huh? Impressive,” Harry said in a mocking British accent. He gave Louis a once over, eyes lingering on his shirt. “Nice shirt, by the way.”

Louis’ brows furrowed and he glanced down before he realized what he was wearing. He gritted his teeth and looked up at Harry, who only smiled at him. “Ugh,” Louis groaned. “I hate you!”

With that, he stomped away with Zayn waving bye to both Eleanor and Harry as he jogged to keep up with his best friend. Eleanor nudged Harry, her eyes questioning. Harry simply shrugged. “You know what?” he said. “I think I’ll go to the white party after all.”

It wasn’t over with Louis. He could feel it.

**♥** **Louis** **♥**

Louis didn’t own a lot of white clothing. He usually stuck to dark, neutral colors because they suited him more, but during summer he did admire how well his tan skin tone looked against a crisp white shirt. That was what he chose to wear to the white party, along with a pair of white skinny jeans from 7 For All Mankind. His plain, classic white button down shirt hung loose over his jeans, casual yet smart, and his hair was styled in a quiff. Beck chose to wear a white suit that he’d brought along with him for the event.

The couple made a few heads turn when they walked through the doors and Louis felt pride flare up inside of him again. He might not really like Beck, but they did make a hot couple. Beck held Louis’ hand as they got themselves drinks from the open bar and then walked over to Zayn, who was making googly eyes at an older woman standing a few feet away. She must be the one he’s been shagging all summer. She was currently holding hands with an older man as they made the rounds, and Louis had to appreciate that she was very beautiful. He just wondered how long Zayn was going to play homewrecker.

When Zayn finally met Louis’ eyes, he gave him a sheepish grin. “Hey, Lou.”

“Hi Zayn,” he replied. “Everything all good with your cougar?”

Zayn widened his eyes. “Can you be subtle?!”

Louis cackled. “Not like I went over and started asking her about her marriage. You need to do something about that, though.”

“I’m not going to do anything about it,” Zayn replied. “We leave the Hamptons in a few days and she will be old news.”

“Missed your playboy ways, Z,” Louis said, half-joking and half-serious.

Zayn laughed, glancing behind Louis for a moment. “Harry’s showed up after all, then.”

Louis casually took a sip of his drink and turned around. It didn’t take him long to spot the boy in question. Harry decided to go against the crowd, wearing a pair of _black_ jeans with a white, silk shirt. He had the short sleeves rolled up to his biceps, exposing all of his arm tattoos. Not just that, but he also unbuttoned his shirt halfway, exposing his chest tattoos as well. Louis bit his lip in an effort to not whimper.

He was not going to let Harry’s good looks get to him. Turning to face his boyfriend, Louis tugged on his hand. Beck was busy chatting with Eleanor and some guy she was with. He looked at Louis, and Louis gestured to him that he wanted to walk around. Specifically anywhere near Harry’s eyesight. Beck, unknowing of the shit storm in Louis’ head, followed.

They moved around the outdoor venue, passing by guests who were drinking, dancing to the new Ariana song, or gossiping in their circle. Louis finally stopped right across from Harry, who was standing by the pool, surrounded by the lush green trees set up for the aesthetic. As Louis stopped, Harry’s eyes slid over to them, narrowing immediately. Louis giggled as he faced Beck, throwing an arm around his neck and hanging off of him. His entire body was angled toward Beck’s, giving them an intimate and comfortable vibe to anyone who looked at them.

Beck, at first, smiled back. Louis looked at Harry from the corner of his eye to make sure he was still watching and then leaned up to kiss Beck, smooth and easy. Beck kissed back and it was fine until Louis couldn’t help but look over at Harry again to gauge his reaction. Harry’s expression was stormy, no doubt angry and irritated, but when Louis turned back to Beck, he saw that he didn’t look that happy either.

“What?” Louis asked, tilting his head to the side.

Beck sighed before answering. “Do you think I’m stupid, Louis?”

“Beck -- what are you saying? Of course not.”

“I think you do,” he said, cooly. “Since I’ve gotten here, it’s been so obvious that you’ve been using me to make Harry jealous. I could see it since yesterday at dinner when you two were going back and forth. Then you followed him to the bar, too. I even overheard you a little when he came by the house and you were outside by the pool.”

Louis shook his head quickly, his throat tightening up in panic. “No, no. You don’t understand. I don’t -- I would never do that to you. I don’t want to make Harry jealous. He’s awful. I hate him.”

“Do you, though? You two clearly have some history. And he’s made his feelings for you plenty obvious on his end.”

“That’s just Harry,” Louis tried to deflect. “He’s -- he’s such an ass. All he does is lie about things, poke his nose where it doesn’t belong, and use people. He’s just being his usual shady self. I swear.”

“Do you think you’re any different than him, Louis?” Beck asked, scoffing. “Because from what I’m seeing, you’re both terrible and fucked up. I feel so utterly used and disrespected. I don’t want to be here any longer than I need to be. I hope you fulfilled your purpose in all this. I hope you’re happy. You and Harry deserve each other.”

He backed away slowly, then turned and walked away, leaving Louis standing there in shock. For the first time since he started this charade, he felt terrible. He was furious and upset, but more than that he felt guilty. He didn’t mean to make Beck feel like shit. Louis never meant for Beck to know about Harry and Louis and their fucked up game.

A hand reached out to touch Louis on the arm and he jerked away, turning to see Harry beside him. “That was some scene that just played out,” he said, looking almost bored. “You done acting now?”

“Oh, fuck off, Harry,” Louis snarled. “I bet you’re so fucking happy now, huh? You got what you wanted. You made me look stupid. You made me do all of this just to get a rise out of you.”

“Please,” Harry rolled his eyes. “I didn’t make you do anything. When are you going to realize that you’re not the good person you pretend to be? You’re just as fucked up as I am.”

“I am nowhere near as fucked up as you. You’re so fucking terrible. You don’t even know what you want. One minute you can’t keep your hands off me and you’re begging me to be with you, and the next you left me alone in a foreign country - that you invited me to -  and then when I’ve moved on and I’m happy, you want me again. What kind of mind games are you trying to play?”

Harry shook his head. “I’m not.”

“Liar,” Louis said, quietly. He turned on his heels and headed out toward the front of the hall to see if Beck was still anywhere near, but he couldn’t find him. He could only hear Harry’s footsteps coming closer.

“I’m not done talking to you,” Harry said upon reaching him. Louis took a deep breath and faced him.

“When will you stop?”

“Look, Louis. I’m so sorry. I never should have done what I did. I knew it was wrong, but something just -- something held me back from making the right decision,” he confessed. “Someone put it in my head how big, how meaningful this all was and I didn’t know how to handle that. So I tried distracting myself from you all summer and I think it’s clear that it didn’t work.”

Louis crossed his arms. “So what are you saying?”

“What I’m saying is that I was a fucking coward. I was scared about what it meant if we spent this whole summer together. And you know what? While we’re on this honesty kick, I’ll even admit I’m scared now. But I just -- I cannot stand the sight of you with anyone else. My heart feels like it’s going to pound out of my chest from how jealous I am. I don’t want anyone else to have you or anyone else to get to kiss your lips. I can’t take it.”

Unable to properly process Harry’s words, Louis could feel his hands shaking. But it was slowly coming together. It was kind of making sense, given Harry’s life and his history. Louis wasn’t sure who got into Harry’s head, but he had a few guesses - like Bart. But that didn’t matter now. It was too late, unless Harry could somehow prove to Louis that he would change. Because as much as Louis wanted to be over Harry, he wasn’t. Louis was overwhelmed with how much he cared for and wanted Harry.

“So I’m here,” Harry continued. “Begging you to stay with me. Please, don’t go back to Beck.”

“Why?” Louis asked. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave. Why I shouldn’t leave before you abandon me again, making me look like a fool. And I don’t want that _I’m Harry Styles_ bullshit. I want a real reason.”

“Because you love me,” Harry answered immediately. Confident in his answer because he knew Louis just as much as Louis knew him.

“That’s not good enough,” Louis countered back.

“Fine, then because I don’t want you to leave. We both know we belong together, Lou.”

“That’s not good enough,” Louis cried, frustrated. He knew Harry was right, but being right didn’t mean that this would work between them. That Louis had to give into his desire for Harry. He didn’t want to get hurt again. It would break him for sure this time.

“What more reason do you need?” Harry asked him. “What else is there? How else can I make you believe me?”

“You know what else, Harry,” Louis said, his voice a whisper. “Three words, eight letters. Say it and I’m yours.”

Harry licked and then bit his lower lip “I...I --”

A choked sob nearly ripped from Louis’ throat so he sniffed and coughed to cover it up. He could feel himself tearing up as it dawned on him that Harry wasn’t going to change. Harry was exactly what he said he was...a coward. And he always would be. It broke Louis’ heart. They really did belong together. Even he could feel it. And they could make it work if only Harry would move past his issues. If he would give up his fears and fight for Louis. If he would just admit that he loved Louis like Louis loved him.

Louis took a step back and gave him a watery smile. “It’s okay, H. Go back to the party and enjoy the rest of your summer. Distract yourself. But you and I...we’re done.”

Harry crossed his arms against his chest and looked downward, defeated and weak. Louis had to be the strong one and walk away, even as he felt like someone personally carved his heart out of his chest and stomped on it.

That someone being Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would like to dedicate this end note to my beta, e! honestly, you help me so much with this fic. thank you!
> 
> [fic post](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/post/161333536170/fic-dont-you-think-that-its-boring-how-people) / [fic page](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/ggau) / [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/123144119/playlist/16fRGD5NIFALexkMrQIUG3)

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://butyouneverdo.tumblr.com/tnr)


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